Lost Recap – 05×11 Whatever Happened, Happened

Recap of Lost Season 5 Episode 11 titled Whatever Happened, Happened.

This is a Kate-centric and you know what this means: lots of good scenes with Sawyer and the potential to make one go NUTS wondering “WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO HER CHARACTER?” . Also, her episodes also come loaded with scenes with Jack which means this is a great opportunity for you to play The Jackface Game – every time there is a Jackface cap you drink. I can guarantee you will be drunk by the time you finish reading this recap.

So, where were we? Oh, yes Sayid shot young Ben, ran into the jungle and Jin was out cold. Jin comes to (phew) and sees Benny and runs to him. Benny says: “Please … help…” and I am like awwww. HELP HIM JIN.

He does.

Back in Dharmaville , Horace is telling the folks that Sayid has escaped. And that he probably set the van on fire. Jack says how exactly did he do that from INSIDE HIS LOCKED CELL?

Horace is all like, who the hell are you?

Jack says “I’m new” . Then Horace says, well he probably had help from one of us.

In case you were wondering: this IS a Jackface. Drink

Meanwhile Kate just sits there looking at the stars wondering when she can get into Sawyer’s pants. No, wait, GOSH, that’s just me again.

Then Roger, Benny’s dad, asks for help getting the van rescued.  He introduces himself and she realises he is Ben’s father and manages a poker face but only just.

Then Jin arrives with Benny and Roger is all like, that’s my kid!

Flashback to the FUTURE. Or the past. Something like that. Ok, it’s Kate out of the island, with Aaron. She is going to visit someone.

And it’s Cassidy! If you haven’t been following: this is Sawyer’s ex and she has a daughter with him. Kate visits her because Sawyer asked her to just before jumping from the chopper (he actually whispered in her ear his request and we have all been wondering what did he say – now we know. )  . ALSO, in one of those Lost-Coincidences (or not) Cassidy and Kate had met before Kate went to the island. Cassidy is surprised to see her, seeing how Kate is famous as one of the O6 and then Kate says: Sawyer sent me.

Cassidy is all like: wow that SOB is still alive and Kate is all like, yes, he was when I left the island. She says he sent her to take care of Clementine – his daughter. Then Kate tells Cassidy everything about how they lied to everyone and that people were left behind. And I wonder why she does so, given the fact that Cassidy is a con-artist? Why is Kate trusting her? She says it’s because Clementine needs to know her father cared about her. But I ain’t convinced. The next scene tells me everything I need to know though:

TPTB needed Kate to tell Cassidy the truth so that Cassidy can function as Kate’s Jiminicricket. Because next thing we know Cassidy is all like: Sawyer jumped from the chopper because he was afraid to leave the island. She tells Kate she luuurves Sawyer. She asks if Aaron  is Sawyer’s and Kate lies saying that she was pregnant when she got to the island. Somehow Cassidy, with her mind-blowing Jedi powers says that she doesn’t believe it and Kate tells her everything about Aaron. Kate says she had to lie “because she had to” and I am like WTF is that supposed to mean?

Can we stop here for a second. It makes me so FUCKING angry that all of a sudden, in order to restore Kate’s character they need to backtrack on Sawyer’s. So he no longer jumped from the chopper in a heroic act to save his friends. He did it because he was afraid to commit to Kate! OH, COME ON.

Back in Craphole Island Kate asks Sawyer what does he know about Sayid’s escape.

Then the Dharma CSI team show up and Kate leaves.

They find the keys in the cell and it they are janitor’s key. They need to interrogate the new janitor, a guy named Jack about it. He is suspect numero uno it seems.

Then Sawyer goes to see how Benny is doing and sees Roger waiting outside. He asks if Roger, who is also a janitor, has his keys. He doesn’t.

Inside the infirmary, Juliet tells Sawyer Benny is not doing very well and that they need a REAL surgeon. and the only one around is , yes, Jack, the hero.

Kate, Hurley and Jack are under house arrest. (Jackface! drink!)

Hurley is all weird and looking at his hand.

Miles is all like, what the hell are you doing?

Hurley says: Checking to see if I’m disappearing.

and I am like: shout out to Back to the Future!! Squeee! geek  alert!

Miles, who is probably the only person in the planet not to have watched Marty Mcfly’s adventures is lost. and says, what?

Hurley says:  Back to the Future, man. We came back in time to the island and changed stuff. So if little Ben dies, he’ll never grow up to be big Ben, who’s the one who made us come back here in the first place, which means we can’t be here. And therefore, dude? We don’t exist.

Awesome.

Miles is all like: “Yeah. It doesn’t work like that. You can’t change anything. Your maniac Iraqi buddy shot Linus. That is what always happened. It’s just… we never experienced how it all turns out.” “The good news is that Linus didn’t die, so that means the kid can’t, either. He’ll be fine.”

AWESOME, AWESOME.

Jack is just sitting there like the Godfather. (Jackface! Drink!)

When Sawyer walks in and asks for his help with Benny. Jack is all like: no.  (Jackface! Drink!)

Sawyer says Benny will die if he doesn’t help and

The hero, says: “Then he dies”  and we have another Jackface!

They can’t believe it.

Kate can’t either.

Kate talks to Jack. She says Benny is just a boy right now and he can’t let him die. Jack is all like “We can’t change what’s already happened. This has nothing to do with me.”Kate says, but what if YOU are the one supposed to save him?

Jack (Jackface! drink!) is all like, hey been there , done that. You already asked me to save Ben remember? to save Sawyer. and I am like ooooooooo, yes. “I did it for you” he says.

She then says, this is our fault. Jack says “Did you ever think that maybe the island just wants to fix things itself, and maybe I was just getting in the way?”

Kate says, Jack I don’t like the new you.  I prefer the old you.

Jack says: you didn’t like the old me either. and I am like GASP!HOLY CRAPOLES!HOT DAMN!

Can you hear it dear readers: the sound of the nail in the coffin of the Jack-Kate relationship? This is IT: clear as day, Sawyer and Kate are the end game of this show. And Jack knows it.  You can drink now, to celebrate.

Then Kate leaves the house and goes to donate blood to Benny. Juliet and Kate talks about how much Jack sucks huge donkey balls. Kate tells Juliet they were engaged off the island. Juliet does not like to hear about it, it seems.

Then Roger walks in and sits next to Kate and they talk.

Roger tells Kate that Benny took his keys. And he is sad that it was because of his own abusive actions. Well, boo-hoo to you Roger. Go be a better dad next time.

Then back to the awesome convo between Miles and Hurley.

Hurley: Let me get this straight. All this already happened.

Miles: Yes.

Hurley: So this conversation we’re having right now — we already had it?

Miles: Yes!

Hurley: Then what am I gonna say next?

Miles: I don’t know.

Hurley: Then your theory is wrong!

Miles: For the thousandth time, you dingbat, the conversation already happened, but not for you and me.

Me: HEY, don’t call Hurley dingbat. Only Sawyer is allowed to call him names

Hurley: Okay, answer me this. If all this already happened to me, then why don’t I remember any of it?

Good question!

Miles: Because once Ben turned that wheel, time isn’t a straight line for us anymore. Our experiences in the past and the future occurred before these experiences right now.

Say that again? Miles says: Shoot me. Please. Please?

Then Hurley says: Aha! I can’t shoot you, because if you die in 1977, then you’ll never come back to the island on the freighter 30 years from now.

Miles: I can die because I’ve already come to the island on the freighter. Any of us can die, because this is our present.

Hurley: But you said Ben couldn’t die because he still has to grow up and become the leader of the Others.

Miles: Because this is his past.

Hurley: But when we first captured Ben, and Sayid… like… tortured him, then why wouldn’t he remember getting shot by that same guy when he was a kid?

Miles Huh. Hadn’t thought of that.

Hurley: quite.

This scene was all kinds of awesome but I can’t help but to think that this was solely for the audience’s benefit. Like we are all a bunch of lazy bastards who can’t think for ourselves.   Still, very interesting and I liked the Miles-Hurley dynamics.

Juliet is talking to Roger and Kate listens.

Then the two chicks decide to take matters in their own hands because you know, The Hero won’t help them. So Juliet says the only ones that can help Benny are…The Others!!! Muwahahaha.

They put Benny in the van.

Kate is going alone and she tells Juliet that Sawyer would kill her if something happened to Jules.

Flashback-forward. Back to the marina again. How many points of view do we get of this one scene anyway?

Kate leaves them and takes Aaron shopping…

She loses him (way to go Kate) and totally despairs

And it’s actually a rather heart-racing scene followed by sweetness. Kate does care about Aaron.

Kate drives to the sonic fences and is soon followed by

Sawyer. OMG how cute is this man. I get in the Shipper Alert Mode. and she is like:

I can’t let him die and you can’t stop me nanananana.

He says: Damn it freckles.

FRECKLES! HE CALLED HER FRECKLES SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*DIES*

Ahem. He says he is there to help her. Awww

Back to the future-past: Kate is visiting Cassidy and Clementine again. It seems they are really close. Clementine is the cutest girl ever (just like her dad) and she says: Auntie Katie. awwww

Kate resumes her position in the couch so that Cassidy can psychoanalyse her more easily. *snorts*

She tells Cassidy how Jack wants them to return to the Island of Doom. Cassidy says  “Jack sounds like a piece of work.” Yep. she does. It is NOT me saying it this time, I swear. Then Kate is all shaken because she almost lost Aaron and she tells Cassidy how part of her thought that it was “about time” , Then Cassidy says that it is because she took him. and he is not hers. Kate says he needed her. Then Yoda ,  Freud Cassidy says: nope, YOU needed him.

“Sawyer broke your heart. How else were you supposed to fix it?””

And I am like: EXCUSE ME??? Are they kidding me? Is that what  they want us to believe? When exactly did Sawyer break Kate’s heart? Was it before or after she licked Jack’s spoon of love (no, seriously)? Was it before or after she had sex with Sawyer because she was jealous  of Jack and Juliet? Or was it when Sawyer invited her to stay behind and live with him and she said that they can’t “play house”?????? Hello. I get that they are trying to rescue Kate, but do NOT call me stupid. I KNOW what I watched in the previous 2 seasons and it was NOT Sawyer breaking Kate’s heart. It was the other way around.

/end of rant

Back to the island: Kate wants to know why Sawyer is helping her.

“When I found out Ben was gone, and Juliet told me what you were up to, I asked that exact damn question: ‘Why are you helping Ben?’ and she said no matter what he’s gonna grow up to be, it’s wrong to let a kid die.”

Then he says: “I’m doing it for her.”

and I am like: awwww. Shit. this is so sweet. I am so conflicted. But way to go Sawyer, you are awesome. See what you missed Kate?

Meanwhile Juliet is royally pissed at The Hero. She walks in rather furious and

Jack is taking a shower (Jackface!drink!) She says she needed him.

And he is like: excuse me?

and I am like: wait a minute. Where has his body hair gone??? he shaved? LOL. How lame.  (jackface! drink!)

She is like, well, now it’s down to Kate and Sawyer because you know, THEY care.

Then Jack (jackface! drink!) says “I came back here because I care, Juliet. I came back here because I was trying to save you.”

You patronising Jackass, I didn’t need saving. Plus it took you 3 years to go on a guilt trip? Wow, you are my hero. “You came back for you.” she says.

“I came back because I was supposed to.”

“Supposed to do what?”

He doesn’t know. *sighs* (Jackface! drink!)

Then the REAL hero is carrying Benny in his arms. Kate is thinking “I wish it was me” No, wait. That was ME again. Gosh this is so confusing. Then Kate talks about his daughter.

The sweet, beautiful man asks what she is like.

She is like,  you, has your attitude and everything.

He is all like, awww.

Then Kate says that Cassidy had a theory on why he stayed behind. “She thought you were worried about what would happen if you didn’t.”

Sawyer is like: “You and me would have never worked out, Kate. I wasn’t any more fit to be your boyfriend that I am to be that little girl’s father.”

Awww. My heart gives a summersault.

Kate says he seems to be doing ok with Juliet (she kicks a rock while saying it. Ok, not she doesn’t, but she wanted to!)

The sweet sweet man

says he did a lot of

growing up these past years.

There was no need for all these caps but he is so cute. I can’t help myself.

But before Kate can cry or whine that it should have been HER he did the gropping growing  up with, the Others attack. Sawyer asks to be taken to Richard Alpert.

Then off-island Kate visits Claire’s mom – Aaron’s grandmother.  And tells her the truth. That Claire is alive (well, possibly) and that Aaron is hers.

“We lied and there were other survivors too, and we just left them.” EXACTLY.

The woman asks why would she do this.

Kate now agrees with Cassidy and says because she needed him.

She then shows a picture of Aaron and says when she is ready she can have him. Because she is leaving. She is going back to the island to find his mother.

And right there and then I think: this Kate, this selfless Kate that is trying to do right for Aaron and Clare? I can totally respect her.

Then there is a heartbreaking scene where Evangeline Lily act her ass off and she says goodbye to Aaron and her heart is breaking and  so is mine.

I cry along with her.

“Bye-bye, baby” and I wonder if she will ever see him again. I think not.

Back in the Island, they are taking Benny to the Others.

Eyeliner Richard shows up. They want him to save the boy.

Then Richard is all cryptic

“If I take him, he’s not ever gonna be the same again. What I mean is that he’ll forget this ever happened, and that… his innocence will be gone.”

and I am like ha? what is that supposed to mean?

“He will always be one of us.”

Okaaaay. Sawyer says he is fine with it. And there and then Benny’s future as the Evil Dude with the Weird Eyes is set in stone, me thinks.

Then another Other says “You shouldn’t do this without asking Ellie. And if Charles finds out?” and I am like? Faraday’s mother? Charles Widmore? are they the leaders? More to the point: Is Widmore Faraday’s daddy? Is Faraday, Penny’s sister??????????

Eyeliner Richard says “Let ’em find out. I don’t answer to either of them.”

WHO DO YOU ASNWER TO ????

Then Richard takes the boy to the Temple…..hummm…. so whatever happened, happened right? The losties are responsible for Ben becoming an Other. There you have it.

Then we cut to grown-up Ben waking up in the future. He opens his eyes and is greeted by:

Locke!! Hellooooooooooo nurse!

“Welcome back to the… land of the living.”

The he gives one his awesome smiles and it’s

LOST.

woohoo Locke is back! Now, all I want is Desmond to show up again!

Not a bad episode. I loved the Sawyer-Kate interactions (well, duh) and the Miles-Hurley convo. The whole thing with Cassidy was stupid though.

Next up: a Ben episode.