Title: Kiss me Deadly

Author: Edited by Trish Telep with 13 contributors (listed below)

Genre: YA/Paranormal

Publisher: Running Press Kids
Publication Date: August 3, 2010
Paperback: 432 pages

If you can possibly thirst for more mysterious metaphysical accounts of love, Trisha Telep has organized some of the greatest and most thrilling tales of paranormal paramours since The Eternal Kiss. She presents the acclaimed literary talent of thirteen unique authors, creating a collection of stories that will undoubtedly capture the imagination of every soul who dares to read them. Werewolves, ghosts, zombies, vampires, and fallen angels drive the plot of these riveting romances.

Kiss Me Deadly includes the exceptional writings of several authors, including:

• Sarah Rees Brennan (faeries)
• Becca Fitzpatrick (angels)
• Caitlin Kittredge (witches)
• Karen Mahoney (vampires: sequel to story from The Eternal Kiss)
• Daniel Marks (ghost kids)
• Justine Musk (sorcerers)
• Diana Peterfreund (unicorns)
• Michelle Rowen (demons)
• Carrie Ryan (zombies)
• Maggie Stiefvater (werewolves)
• Rachel Vincent (banshees)
• Daniel Waters (zombies)
• Michelle Zink (gothic ghosts)

Why did I read this book: I loved Telep’s previous anthology, The Eternal Kiss and had been waiting for this one anxiously.

How did I get this book: I got an ARC at BEA

Review:

Kiss Me Deadly is an anthology with all new stories by several YA authors, some of them new-to-me. It is edited by Trisha Telep who also edited The Eternal Kiss anthology published last year. I read (and reviewed) The Eternal Kiss and was extremely impressed by the quality of the stories and it was a no-brainer that I would be picking up this new one as well. As with its predecessor, this new anthology has a well-balanced collection of short stories. Out of the 12 stories I read (the collection is supposed to have 13, but my ARC did not contain the story by Becca Fitzpatrick, which will only be a part of the finished product) , one I intensely disliked, 3 I enjoyed to a certain extent and the remaining 8 were, for lack of a better word, completely and totally awesome.

I find myself more and more attracted to short stories these days: a completely different animal from a novel, yet still a perfectly viable form of storytelling. I would even say that when a short story is good, it is really good and I admire authors who can write both shorts and full-length novels. The feeling I had reading those 8 stories aforementioned was that the authors took their time really thinking about them. Diana Peterfreund’s, Carrie Ryan’s and Dan Water’s for example are set in the same world as their full length novels but can be perfectly read as stand alone, because the world-building was less important than the characters and story. This is not to say that attention was not given to the background, it is just that it was integrated in the stories in a way that it never overshadowed the storytelling. It this vein, it didn’t matter to me that I never read a Dan Water novel before, because everything I needed to know about his world came from his main character’s feelings (and I have to say that now I completely understand why Thea is bananas about both Carrie Ryan and Dan Waters’ books) .

A final word before I proceed to examine each story on its own. The Eternal Kiss had a “theme” as all stories had vampires in them. Kiss Me Deadly is supposed to be about “paranormal love” , except that I think this description builds a certain expectation that all stories will be about romantic love when they are not. All stories are paranormal stories, with a great diversity of paranormal creatures and within different genres too but I can’t say that romance is a thread that links all of them and some of them don’t have romance at all. “Love” makes an appearance in the majority of stories, but it can be parental love or the love of a nun for her unicorn. I would go as far as to say that the stories that are supposed to be the most romantic ones are the weakest ones in my opinion – if there is one thing that is really hard to build in the confines of a short story is a believable romance.

Having said that, the stories as they appear in the anthology are:

The Assassin’s Apprentice by Michelle Zink

Rose comes from a long line of Descendants (from Angels) and her entire family has been killed by a demon. Bent on revenge, she is about to attack said demon when she comes across an Assassin’s Apprentice named Asher with whom she forms an alliance. Assassin are usually in charge of protecting the Descendants but Rose is fully capable of taking care of herself, thanks very much. I thought this story had an interesting premise and mythology although the historical setting was not in depth enough for me to know when it was set exactly. I like Rose as protagonist, but felt the romance that started between her and Asher too rushed and artificial, almost like an after-thought to the story. 6 out of 10

Errant by Diana Peterfreund

Part of Peterfreund’s Unicorn Hunters series, Errant is set in the 18th century French when a nun , sister Gitta (a Unicorn Hunter) , accompanied by her unicorn, arrives at a chateau just before the wedding of a girl named Eloise. As part of the celebration, a traditional Unicorn Hunt is to be enacted with Gitta’s help. This story is excellent as it develops, quite well these two characters. Starting with animosity from Gitta’s side – her frustration with these people and this girl who know nothing about tradition and sacrifice, expect yes, yes she does and Gitta slowly realises that and the relationship that builds between the two girls is incredible. There is a communion of spirits between them (and the unicorn) and I would like to use the author’s own words to describe this story:

18th century French feminist killer unicorn story about a nun and a bride and a forest full of monsters.

Perfect. 8 out of 10

The Spirit Jar by Karen Mahoney

This story by Karen Mahoney once again follows her character, the vampire Moth which was introduced in a story in The Eternal Kiss anthology in her struggle to get rid of her Maker, Theo. She keeps going on missions to rescue certain objects for Theo in the hope that one enough difficult missions will buy her freedom. This time around, she travels to London after a book when she meets a part-djinn boy named Adam who is also after the book – he needs it to release his girlfriend’s soul who is entrapped in a spirit jar. Moth is conflicted as to whether help him or just get the book and go away – is she Moth or is she still Marie, the girl she used to be? I loved Moth when I first read about her and I loved her even more here with her reluctant (or is it?) willingness to help the boy. 8 out of 10.

Lost by Justine Musk

I love the opening lines of this story:

“I’ve always been good at finding lost things, but three weeks after a car accident dumped my best friend in a coma, I was the thing that felt lost. And nobody knew where to find me.
Except for one person.”

This is a bittersweet, quite dark-ish tale, a remaining of a well known (and to me, well-loved) Greek myth, which I will leave unspoiled as part of the fun in this story is to slowly realise together with Sasha, the main character, what is her role. Although I liked the premise and enjoyed the writing, I felt that on this case the short format did not help, a longer story was needed to properly develop this. It does work as a teaser though and I would definitely be more interested in learning more. 7 out of 10.

The Spy Who Never Grew Up by Sarah Rees Brennan

It is no surprise that Sarah Rees Brennan, the author of the Demon Lexicon series is one of my favourite writers right now. This story is another reason why. It is funny and terminally clever and maybe even creepy. Peter Pan has been co-opted by the Queen of England to become a spy for the Country in exchange for a “mother” who turns out to be Wendy’s great-great granddaughter.

What I ADORE about this story is how the author totally, completely “gets” Peter Pan. From

“To die for your country,” said Peter. ” “Would that be an awfully big adventure?”

to his creepiness evidenced here by how he has sort of grown up a little bit yet he still has his baby teeth and his need for a mother, any mother. I loved how the girl has been prepared by generations of girls who have been used by Peter and when she faces him it is with a pepper spray in hand. But the thing about Peter Pan, the boy who never grow up (that’s because he has no memories) is how terribly titillating the promise of adventure with him is. Plus you guys: NINJA FAIRIES. Seriously.

“The name’s Pan,” said Peter, who I must admit was showing off. “Peter Pan.”
Neither of them was really on their best behaviour. Spies rarely are.
“What will you have?” asked the bartender.
“Martini,” said Ivana. “shaken, not stirred.”
“Milk,” said Peter. “Warm, not hot.”

8 out of 10 and possibly my favourite story.

Behind the Red Door by Caitlin Kittredge

Small town boredom leads the main character Jo to be dared by her friends to visit decrepit Ash House where she meets the ghost of a boy named Nicholas Day with whom she starts a relationship – which ends up consuming her thoughts. This is part proper ghost story – terrifying and sad – part coming of age as Jo needs to decide what she wants for her life. I loved it. 7 out 10.

Hare Moon by Carrie Ryan

This is definitely another favourite. It is part of Carrie Ryan’s Forest of Hands and Teeth series. I have yet to follow this series but Thea is a HUGE fan and now I understand why. This story follows a girl named Tabitha, trapped in a village surrounded by zombies torn between the mysteries of the outside world and the possibility of love and sex with a boy from another village and her duty. The writing is evocative and beautiful about a very fundamental conflict between love and duty, history and memory and choices. 8 out of 10.

Familiar by Michelle Rowan

A story a reluctant teenage witch who, prompted by her mother, must pick a familiar. She chooses a kitten who turns out to be a shape shifter boy hiding from a clan of werewolves. Witches and their familiar are magically bonded and the bond on this case, the bond is created between the two kids – with eventually extrapolated into a romantic bond and in this case, wholly artificial. I was unimpressed by this story. 5 out of 10.

Fearless by Rachel Vincent

Part of her Soul Screamers series, and the only story in the anthology that seems to be connected with the rest of the series it belongs to. It is set about two years before the first book starts. It follows Sabine, a mara, or living nightmare. The girl is currently under arrest in a Correctional facility and there she where she lives off consuming fears from other girls while they sleep. Some of the scenes with Sabine feeding off fears are absolutely terrifying but not near as terrifying as finding out that all that stands between Sabine and madness is….Nash who seems to love her. A promise made by Nash in the last page seems to be foreboding of DOOM. 7 out of 10.

Vermillion by Daniel Marks
This was my least favourite story in the entire anthology – in fact it made me downright angry. The set up is quite vague….in Purgatory dead people take care of problems caused by spirits in the living world. Velvet is the narrator and member of a team which includes her boyfriend (and undertaker) Nick. Called to investigate some disturbances, they have to side with another team led by a girl who from the first time she sets foot in the story is met with hatred and anger by Velvet because she might be after Nick. Regardless of whether this is true or not, the story is filled with girl-hate and with Velvet being focused solely on her relationship with Nick. That does not a good story make. 4 out of 10.

The Hounds of Ulster by Maggie Stiefvater

Bryant and Sullivan are the best of friends, and they want to be rock stars. Bryant narrates this story, which is an elegy for Sullivan who is lost to Them. It is about their dreams and who they are shattered by this one Girl. This story is typical Maggie Stiefvater affair and it sparked the typical reaction in me after reading her stories. Beautiful writing, incredibly powerful setting and a highly frustrating ending and characters. I am not sure how I am supposed to feel about this story and the punch it packs in the end but I know that I somehow felt cheated. In any case, it is actually a good story. 7 out of 10.

Many Happy Returns by Daniel Waters

Another contender for favourite story. Part of Generation Dead series in which teenagers who die might come back to life albeit in a very constricted manner (slower, difficulty of speech), not exactly zombies per since they keep their personality. In this series, a small town tragedy occurs after there is a car accident and several teenage kids die. From the point of view of one of the parents, Cal observes as his friends’ kids come back to life while he hopes and waits for his daughter Mandy to wake up. I don’t care about what is it that makes the kids come back, I only know what this possibility makes it for a very suspenseful read in many ways: is it a good thing to hope for this to happen? What sort of life would Mandy live if she does? But if she doesn’t , how can Cal possibly move on? Grief, envy, lost love it is all mixed in this bag of absurdly good and sad delights. 8 out of 10.

Verdict: All in all, an excellent anthology which I highly recommend in spite of a couple of less than good stories. The excellent ones more than make up for those.

Rating: 7 Very Good (leaning towards an 8 )

Reading next: Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce

Title:Steampunk

Author: edited by Jeff and Ann Vandermeer with contributions by Michael Chabon / Neal Stephenson / James P. Blaylock / Joe R. Lansdale / Mary Gentle / Ted Chiang / Michael Moorcock / Jay Lake / Molly Brown / Stepan Chapman / Ian R. MacLeod / Rachel E. Pollock / Paul Di Filippo / Rick Klaw / Jess Nevins / Bill Baker

Genre: Steampunk

Stand alone or series: Stand Alone

Publisher: Tachyon Publications
Publication Date: June 2008
Paperback: 432 pages

Steampunk is Victorian elegance and modern technology: steam-driven robots, souped-up stagecoaches, and space-faring dirigibles fueled by gaslight romance, mad scientists, and oh-so-trim waistcoats. It’s The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, The Wizard of Oz, and The Golden Compass. Replete with whimsical mechanical wonders and bold adventurers, this riveting anthology lovingly collects classic steampunk stories, pop-culture fueled discussions of steampunk, and essential recommended reading lists for the discerning steampunk fan.

From the editors of The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric and Discredited Diseases and The New Weird, this is steampunk. Hang on tight.

Why did I read the book: This one is considered THE definitive Steampunk anthology

How did I get the book: Bought

Review:

Steampunk is a collection of articles and stories pertaining to Steampunk. The three articles contained in the anthology seem to have been written specially for the collection whereas the stories have all been published before and are collected here as examples of “Best Of” that the genre has to offer.

I guess the question that needs to be asked is this: does the anthology succeed in its purpose to collect the best of the genre? I am….undecided.

I am not too sure that the unsuspecting reader, the one who never read Steampunk, would come away after reading this collection, wanting to read more. I rather think that the best public for the anthology are those who already enjoy Steampunk and want to know more by exploring the short story format or by reading one of the books that are considered an “Essential” reading. In that sense, I consider myself one of those and I am glad I did read it but I can’t really say I liked the majority of what I read.

The three articles for example are rather good. Introduction: The Nineteenth Century Roots of Steampunk by Jess Nevins is my favorite, an interesting essay about the roots of Steampunk going back to dime novels of the 19th century and the difference between a first “wave” of Steampunk fiction and a second “wave”. The other two are The Steam-Driven Time Machine: A Pop Culture Survey by Rick Claw which offers an insight about genre and its different format (books, movies, fashion, etc) and how the media has picked up on it and The Essential Sequential Steampunk: A Modest Survey of the Genre within the Comic Book Medium by Bill Baker takes a look at the genre within comics and graphic novel format. I do have to say though, as much as the articles are all good, they are not particularly insightful in a ”not to be missed” way. Any information provided and collected can easily be found by doing a simple Google search about the genre.

As for the stories themselves. This is where things get really complicated. Some of them are really, really good but amongst hose there are a couple I am not sure I would even consider Steampunk. Cyperpunk (such Neal Stephenson’s Excerpt from the Third and Last Volume of Tribes of the Pacific Coast) Gaslight Romance, yes. Steampunk? Perhaps not. In any case, admitting that all stories are a form of Steampunk – what do these stories say about the genre?

That there isn’t a clear definition, or a clear parameter to define it. Which is something I already knew but became set in stone after reading the anthology.

My favourite stories in the anthology are the lighter, more fun one ones like Victoria by Paul Di Filippo. Part of his Steampunk Trilogy of novella, this one was a delight to read. It tells the story of a how a scientist is able to genetically modify a newt into a woman with a tremendous sexual appetite. He calls her Victoria and she looks a bit like Queen Victoria. When the real Queen goes missing, the prime minister engages his help to substitute one woman for the other while they search for the queen. It is a great Victorian set story full of political intrigue and scandalous behaviour. The Selene Gardening Society is a whimsical comedy of manners in which a group of Victorian ladies decide to send the excess of garbage to the moon – which will, according to them eventually make the atmosphere habitable for humans. Another favourite but more in a darker streak was Seventy-Two Letters by Ted Chiang applying Kaballa and Gollems to a Steampunk setting. There is also a small except (3 pages or so long) of the very good Warlod of the Air by Michael Moorcock,a book considered to be proto-Steampunk. The excerpt is so small and so obviously part of a larger story that I don’t understand its inclusion in the anthology at all.

The other stories were a complete miss for me. Either because the concepts were not fully explored like Jay Lake’s The God-Clown is Near with the idea of “moral” Clowns and one being built to pass judgment lacks context – it seems to be part of one the author’s “world” but in here it just floats in space. Similarly, The Giving Mouth Ian R. MacLeod, a medieval Steampunk is beautifully written
but also lacking gravitas and a clear explanation for what the heck is going on. A Sun in the Attic by Mary Gentle on the other hand has some of the worst dialogue I ever read even if might have an interesting premise (positive and negative outcome of scientific discoveries in a polygamous society). And so on and so forth, cardboard characters, lack of a cohesive or interesting story afflict the remaining tales.

My least favourite (to put it very mildly) of them all is definitely The Steam Man of the Prairie and the Dark Rider Get Down: A Dime Novel by Joe R. Lansdale. The premise is actually pretty good. The Time Traveller of from H.G. Wells’s The Time Machine travelled so much that he disrupted the time-space continuum and somehow ended up a vampire. Sounds good right? Except the entire story is an excuse for gratuitous violence and an overwhelming obsession with … “ass”. To wit, in every single page there is a scene that contains either rape, impaling, haemorrhoids or ass fu**ing (including a scene where the titular character ass f**ks an ape) all in very graphic details. I am not a prude, I have no problem with the word itself nor am I averse to violence per se if it has a context or a point. But the entire story is completely pointless and by the end of it, I wanted to remove my eyes out of my skull and bleach them.

Ultimately the anthology made me reflect about what my greatest problem with the genre is. I have come to find that Steampunk is a mish-mash of good and bad (like any other genre, really) but above all the most important issue I have is that Steampunk is absolutely great in theory and with its premises but the majority of its execution misses the mark completely. Because it is a genre that lacks a clear definition, I find myself constantly finding stories and books that are defined as Steampunk but which are not. Or in the case of this particular anthology, find that the articles about Steampunk are far more interesting and better than the stories themselves.

This dichotomy between theory x execution and how the former seems to be more of a reality than the latter really is what keeps me going – I want to find more and more examples of good Steampunk execution and shall not rest until I do. Until then, I do not think this one is the “Definitive” Steampunk anthology although it is definitely a good representation of the genre as it currently stands. Take that as you will.

BUT IS IT STEAMPUNK: YES. Some stories do fit what I call Steampunk better but overall yes, definitely a Steampunk collection.

Notable Quotes/ Parts: If I had to pick one story to quote would have to be Victoria. I loved the inside joke the author played with one of most famous (or infamous) art critics of his time, John Ruskin (the man who “discovered” the Pre-Raphaelites) and how he supposedly had a problem with women’s pubic hair (seiro7slyt) and never consummated his marriage to Effie Gray (who later married one of my favourites painters, Millais). The source of his “problem” may well have been Victoria, the newt. Awesome. (yes, I am geek, I KNOW THAT).

Additional Thoughts: For another taste of Steampunk short stories, there is also another anthology currently published:

Extraordinary Engines: The Definitive Steampunk Anthology collects original stories by Stephen Baxter, Eric Brown, Paul Di Filippo, Hal Duncan, Jeffrey Ford, Jay Lake, Ian R. MacLeod, Michael Moorcock, Robert Reed, Lucius Shepard, Brian Stableford, Jeff VanderMeer and more.

It also seems that Ann and Jeff Vandermeer have another one in the works as we speak.

Verdict: A collection of stories that try to represent the genre, with some hits and a lot of misses. I would only recommended it to the more seasoned Steampunk reader.

Rating: 5 , meh, take it or leave it.

Reading Next: Here There Be Monsters by Meljean Brook

It’s Alert Nerd Day at The Book Smugglers! Today we take a look at Alert Nerd Press – an independent digital publisher dedicated to making geek-centric fiction and nonfiction for the discriminating nerd, both online and in print.

Title: One Con Glory

Author: Sarah Kuhn

Genre: Fiction, Contemporary, Geek-lit, Romance, Novella

Publisher: Alert Nerd Press
Publication Date: November 2009
Paperback: 103 pages

Stand alone or series: Stand alone novella

How did we get this book: Review copy from the author

Why did we read this book: We love the geektastic blog that is Alert Nerd, having been introduced to the folks over there earlier this year for their “That’s My Scott and Jean” bonanza. So, when bloggers/authors Matt Springer and Sarah Kuhn contacted us with an opportunity to read and review their novellas, we eagerly accepted!

Summary: (from AlertNerdPress.com)
Diehard fangirl Julie loves Buffy marathons, fighting about comic book continuity, and being left alone.

She might even have to talk to people.

REVIEW:

First Impressions:

Thea: I was actually a little nervous starting this novella – I don’t think I’ve ever known an author before reading their work. I love author Sarah Kuhn’s online voice, but writing fiction is a horse of a different color if y’know what I’m sayin’. But, a few pages into One Con Glory made me realize that I really need not have been so worried – because this is one damn awesome, geektastic book. Well written, zippily paced, with a healthy smattering of nerdiness and romance, One Con Glory totally rocks. I loved it.

Ana: Holy Lord of the Rings! This novella is bloody fantastic! Starting with the nifty title, and the cool cover, plus with the inside being awesomely well written, in a perfect balance of geekness and romance. In other words: this is a M.F.A. (Made For Ana) book and I am totally in love with it.

On the Plot: The basic premise is simple – a diehard Glory Gilmore fangirl and press writer named Julie attends GinormoCon as part of her job. While she’s there, she has the opportunity to interview Jack Camden – pretty boy star of the television adaptation of her favorite superhero comic, Periodic Seven. Julie goes to her one-on-one with her skepticism in check, but her own jaded expectations firmly ingrained – she immediately sizes Jack up to be another one of those irritatingly pretty but basically vapid actors that knows nothing of the source material he’s portraying. Imagine her shock, then, when she discovers that not only is Camden a fanboy, but a genuinely nice guy with an inner-geek? On this trip to GinormoCon, Julie’s curmudgeonly world view is about to be rocked, from the most unexpected sources.

Thea: One Con Glory is written in a brisk, sure-handed style, split into three separate parts. I cannot stress enough how clever this novella is, in both form and function. Each of the three parts begins with an entry from Julie’s blog, GloryGilmoreLives.com, and each entry pertains to the following story – whether it be about the Glory Gilmore action figures Julie has lost, the inviolability of the Prime Directive, or the lurking, indestructible nemesis that is Schmthulu. It’s also kinda cool how there are three parts of the story, and there are three Glory Gilmore action figures that Julie has lost over the course of her life.

So far as the actual writing and plotting are concerned, there’s nothing more I could have asked for from One Con Glory. It’s fast, it’s sweet, it’s got all the popgeek references you could want and manages to integrate those into the story without ever sounding forced (it never feels like Julie is using popgeek culture references to show off how incredibly cool/ingrained in the culture she is; rather, it feels natural). I also have to commend Sarah Kuhn for choosing to create a non-existent superheroine and comic as her central icon in the story. Glory Gilmore is an obscure heroine that does not exist in the DC/Marvel/etc cannon – and I think this was a wise choice. Instead of turning into some ode to Wonder Woman or Jean Grey which might have been awkward or could have overwhelmed the story, this fictitious Glory Gilmore is a completely fresh character that allows us to understand Julie’s connection to the heroine, more so than focusing on the superheroine herself.

Ana: Yes, yes what Thea said. But MORE. I cannot stress enough how much I loved this short story for its cleverness and heart. In a small, confined space of 100 pages, Sarah Kuhn manages to write a story with a past, a present and a future without EVER getting sidetracked.

It is a fresh story because the geekness of the main character feels genuine; it is an unique story because it invents a whole series of comics, with amazing story arcs that matter to Julie and it connects the dots of her life. I am being cryptic on purpose because there is a revelation of sorts relate to Glory Gilmore’s arc and Julie‘s arc. It is a heartwarming story because this is not about plot, it is about character and we all know that is just my cup of tea. It also helps that I know what the Prime Directive is and I too have an opinion on the most important issue of whether Scott and Jean are the ultimate Marvel pairing or not.

This is a fast read, a smart read, an awesome read. Sarah Kuhn is ready, folks. I welcome her to my reading world with open arms and I beg for MORE.

On the Characters:

Thea: Just as with the writing, the characters are fantastic – they are the heart of this story, and damn if I didn’t love them. Julie, our intrepid heroine, narrates the novella in the first person. She’s incredibly funny, she’s intelligent, she’s got a biting wit – but this also means that she’s a bit abrasive and emotionally closed off. She protects herself with her hard outward demeanor, yet Ms. Kuhn allows us glimpses behind the facade as Julie’s walls (or should I say shields?) are slowly worn down. To accomplish all of this in a full length novel, to create a heroine as compelling and layered as Julie, is no small feat. To do it in a scant 100-some pages? Now that’s impressive. I loved Julie. I loved how flawed and very human she is – and I love that when it comes down to it and she’s gotta close her eyes and take the emotional plunge, she handles it.

Of course, there’s also Jack Camden. I picture Jack as one of those pretty CW boys – you know what I mean:

Basically, Jack is the holy grail for fangirls. He’s gorgeous, he’s smart, he’s sensitive, and – oh yeah – he’s also an ubergeek who knows his comics, is a badass at guitar hero, and can talk about continuity snafus until the cows come home. Despite being so obviously compelling, Jack also has some nice development over the course of the novella. Yeah, he’s a bit of a too-good-to-be-true heartthrob, but he’s also vulnerable and puts himself out there for Julie. And that’s cool.

There are two secondary characters who also deserve mentions – Braidbeard (nicknamed for his…braided beard) and Mitch (Julie’s best bud). I liked the animosity that underlies Julie and Braidbeard’s friendship (a scene later in the book really makes both of these characters come together) and I loved Mitch and Julie’s friendship as well. Mitch in particular has a fabulous scene with Julie where he calls her out on her crap – and again, it feels completely real. I loved it all.

Ana: I too, loved the characters – all of them. Julie though, takes the cake for being a fully-realised, fleshed out character, with real issues to deal with. She comes across at first as standoff-ish, somewhat abrasive woman, always with an Opinion about everything. I loved her character arc, the self-evaluation that she does and the realisation that she needs to put herself out there and take the risk. And I loved how there was this parallel in which she reclaims both a Glory Gilmore and her own heart.

Then, there is Jack. Holy Smokes, Batman! Jack is the dream guy for any self-proclaimed fangirl: someone who is both hot and geek, shy and confident and above all, emotionally available. He is not without his own issues though, which makes him human rather than merely a wet dream.

I loved their relationship and I especially LOVED the progression of their story and how Sarah Kuhn inserted a bit of sex and a bit of mystery too. The Guitar Hero scene? Akin to everything I love about romance. And so help me Yoda when I read the scene with the Glory Gilmore connection, I said to myself: this woman, she can SO write.
Mitch and Braidbeard were great secondary characters as well each being a counterpart to a side of Julie. One being a friend, the one a nemesis (and everyone needs a nemesis).

To sum up, I loved it all, dudes! And I will shup up now with my muy lameo attempt at being cleverly geek as it is clear I will never ever be as smart as Sarah Kuhn.

Final Thoughts, Observations and Rating:

Thea: If you couldn’t tell, I loved this novella. I loved it. With its prickly (but lovable) heroine, tongue-in-cheek look at conventions, and genuinely heartwarming romance, One Con Glory has it all. (Yes, I just used our blurb right there shut up don’t judge me!)

Ana: (Thea, you cheeky monkey! Damn you for getting there first!). One Con Glory has a perfect mix of everything I love: popgeekery and romance; great writing, plotting and great characters and I LOVED it.

Notable Quotes/Parts: Hey! You can read an excerpt of One Con Glory online!

July 17, 2009
8:46 in the fucking morning.

The food court hurts my eyes. And my nose. And my…general sense of decency.

Let’s be real: the food court hurts everything.

Especially when it’s 8:46 in the fucking morning and my best friend is trying to convince me that tater tots make for a balanced breakfast.

“You know you want it.”

Mitch Caplan waves a deep-fried glob of starch under my nose, a devilish grin playing across his broad, freckle-specked face. Shuddering, I bat his hand away.

8:47 now. Thirteen more minutes in this fragrant, brightly lit haven of over-processed food-like objects. I fidget in my rickety plastic chair, trying to block out sight and smell and sound.

“—because you’re never guaranteed a good crispiness level with french fry breading, but those McDonald’s hash brown thingies are almost too much with the crunch. Am I right? Are you even listening to me?”

“What? I mean…yes.” I shift around so I’m facing Mitch and widen my eyes into a passable expression of true attentiveness. He grins and pops another tot in his mouth.

“You are so not listening,” he says through a mouthful of golden-brown greaseball. “What’s wrong, Julie? GinormoCon anticipation killin’ ya dead?”

Before I can retort, a nasal voice cuts through the hazy, lard-scented air. “She’s got stuff on her mind, Mitchell. Suckin’ up to nerdlebrities is a lot of frakkin’ work.”

Our heads turn and there he is, an amalgam of pasty skin and beanpole limbs and pure smugginess. I narrow my eyes as he slides into a vacant seat at our minuscule table. “Braidbeard,” I mutter. More of a tossed-off epithet than an actual greeting.

“How do you do that?” marvels Mitch. “It’s like you just…appear. Out of nowhere.”

Braidbeard swipes a tater tot and stuffs it in his mouth. “I have superpowers or whatever.”

Right. Because arguing about DC continuity holes ’til you’re blue in the face is a superpower now.

The source of his nickname—a scraggly beard, carefully arranged into three unkempt braids—dances back and forth as he chomps on the pilfered tot. “Double-u tee eff with that chick they just hired on Powers That Be?” he brays, eyes goggling behind his aggressively hip clunky glasses. “Are they actively trying to get cancelled? Because she’s what I like to call a show-killer.”

I groan and slump back in my seat, scanning the food court. Save for a trio of fresh-faced Skrulls huddled over a plate of nachos, we are apparently the only ones who felt the need to stake out the L.A. Convention Center minutes—nine minutes!—before the GinormoCon doors open.

I was hoping to avoid any and all classic Braidbeard dissertations on Why Everything Sucks today, but that’s what I get for hanging out with Mitch. The boys work together at the entertainment website CinePlanet.com, writing quickie reviews and reporting on “exclusive” news bits. Perhaps sensing that being co-workers = forced camaraderie, Braidbeard leeches onto Mitch every chance he gets. And Mitch—a genial, 6’2” mountain of a man who projects an uncomplicated sort of goodwill—lets him.

You can read the full excerpt online HERE.

Additional Thoughts: One Con Glory comes in a pretty sweet package. The cover is fun and really captures the spirit of the novella, AND there are also three great illustrations within from three talented artists (Max Riffner, Pj Perez, and Benjamin Birdie). The book also includes some cool extras: an interview of author Sarah Kuhn with one of her characters (Braidbeard), a list and explanation of each character’s favorite Buffy episodes, and (in awesome Rachel Caine style) a playlist.

Also, you’ll be pleased to learn that Julie’s blog in the novella, Glory Gilmore Lives, is actually a fun mock-blog online! Complete with vintage Buffy the Vampire Slayer reviews and other assorted geek goodness, it’s a pretty awesome fake blog. Definitely worth checking out!

Rating:

Thea: 8 – Excellent

Ana: 8 – Excellent

Reading Next: Hero of Ages by Brandon Sanderson

Giveaway Details:

We are giving away a totally awesome prize pack to ONE lucky winner! Included in the pack is a copy of One Con Glory, as well as a gorgeous, fangirl-worthy Phoenix tee (size Large), designed by Chris Stewart.

The contest is open to residents of the US and Canada ONLY. In order to enter, leave a comment here telling us who YOUR favorite superheroine is, and why. The contest will run until Saturday, November 7 at 11:59 PM (Pacific). Good luck!

Title: The Dragon Book

Author: Edited by Jack dann and Gardner Dozois with stories by Garth Nix, Tad Williams, Jonathan Stroud, Tamora Pierce, Diana Wynne Jones, Sean Williams, Greg Maguire, Kage Baker, Peter S. Beagle, Bruce Coville, Andy Duncan, Samuel Sykes, Diana Gabaldon, Cecilia Holland, Tanith Lee, Naomi Novik, Mary Rosenblum, Harry Turtledove, Adam Stemple, Jane Yolen and Liz Williams

Genre: Fantasy

Publisher: Andersen Press Ltd
Publishing Date: Nov 5 2009
Hardcover: 448 pages

Stand Alone/ Series: All stories are stand alone

Why did I read the book: I was offered a review copy from the publisher and when I saw the awesome list of authors, I could not possibly say no.

How did I get the book : ARC from the publisher

Review:

I have a great admiration for those who write short stories. To be able to tell a complete story with beginning, middle and ending (or setting, conflict and climax) in such a short format can not be an easy task. So it is always with a certain amount of trepidation that I open short stories’ anthologies as (paraphrasing Forrest Gump) I never know what I am going to get. The Dragon Book contains 18 short stories and you know what? All of them are pretty good (although some better than others of course), which should come as no surprise since the stories are written by luminaries of the Fantasy genre, most of them with a lot of experience in writing short stories. There is obviously, a thread that links all stories in this collection – all of them feature dragons – but that is the only thing they have in common. The stories are as diverse as they can possibly be: some are set in medieval times, some in a contemporary world for example; some are funny, some are dark. Some have a fable feel with a moral lesson, some are surrealist explorations of what ifs. There are alternate history stories and stories set in a different world altogether. Some feature good dragons, other bad dragons, some even have dragons as the narrator.

Here is the rundown of stories:

Dragon’s Deep by Cecelia Holland

Poor fishing villagers are told they need to pay more taxes and they decide to travel up the shoreline to a dangerous place where they might find more fish. The main character is a girl who ends up being the sole survivor of the expedition after they are attacked by a dragon. She in entrapped in his lair and they strike up a relationship of sorts but she is never able to forget where she comes from. This is an old-fashioned tale (with a One Thousand and One Nights feel) where the moral of the lesson clearly points to the ugliness inside, once the girl goes back to the life she can no longer abide to. This one remained with me for a while after I read it.

Vici by Naomi Novik

A young man called Antony, who is always in trouble, is told he needs to kill a dragon in order to be pardoned or off with his head! Set in Ancient Rome, this is an alternate history story (one chance to guess WHICH Antony we are talking about here) and possibly the funniest and quirkiest of the collection with the relationship between Antony and Vici, the dragon, giving me the giggles. This is one of my favourites and one that makes me ask the inevitable question: why am I not reading Novik’s Temeraire books???

Bob Choi’s Last Job by Jonathan Stroud

Dragon hunter who is less human than he used to in order to hunt and which brings closer to the ones he hunts. This one has dragons cloaking as humans and interesting world building, which would make SUCH a good, different UF series.

Are You Afflicted With Dragons? by Kage Baker

A hotel owner who realizes he has a dragon infestation on his roof and has to resort to hiring a dragon specialist to get rid of them. Another funny and quirky one with an ultimate moral lesson which is: don’t play with fire (aha) and you will not get burned.

The Tsar’s Dragons by Jane Yolen & Adam Stemple

Another personal favourite of mine. Alternate history in Russia circa Russian Revolution following around different characters, including a Jew who works for Lenin, a member of the Tzar’s aristocratic circle and Rasputin himself. This one is vivid, gripping and actually riveting as the Red Danger takes a whole new meaning here. Loved it.

The Dragon of Direfell by Liz Williams

A mage is called upon a state to help kill a dragon and finds himself facing something else entirely. Interesting world-building that mentions different creatures such as imps , mage and the Fey.

Oakland Dragon Blues by Peter S. Beagle

A policeman is called upon to clear a traffic jam to find out that what is blocking the road is an honest to god dragon. What is one to do? Part funny, part sad, rather poignant tale that also investigates what it means to be a writer and a storyteller. LOVED it.

Humane Killer by Diana Gabaldon and Samuel Sykes

Set in Medieval times. It shows the unlikely alliance between some of the weirdest characters that I have ever seen which include a medieval knight and his female warrior friend from the North, a witch and her revived zombie-like friend whom she calls Lenny, formerly known as Scourge of Savhael.This is one of the longest stories in the book and it opens as the witch is about to be burnt and is given a chance to live – she has to get rid of a dragon. Parallel to that, the Knight is given the task to kill the dragon in order to regain his father’s infamous Mace (used to killed Saracens in the Crusades) . They all meet in front of the Dragon’s cave and the story goes from there. I quite liked this one as well, for its surreal feel.

Stop! By Garth Nix

This one is a mix of Scifi and Fantasy. In the middle of nowhere, at a bomb testing site (about to go off!) a man, but maybe not a man, walks past the guards, in a non-stop mission. An altogether odd story setting it apart from the rest. And that is not a bad thing.

Ungentle Fire by Sean Williams

A Quest. A young man apprentice to a mage, needs to kill a dragon to finish his apprenticeship and be able to marry his sweetheart – but in the way, he revisits his past and thinks about his future and what he must do. This is a proper hero’s journey in which the young must stand against the old in order to become its own person.

A Stark and Wormy Knight by Tad Williams

How I loved this story! This is strictly from the dragons’ point of view, as mother dragon tells a story to help her dragonling to fall sleep. The story is about the fearful old days, when there were horrible, bad Knights going about killing their ancestors….and how their great-grandpap faced one of those terrible knights. But these days are gone, and dragons need to fear no more, because there are greater things that scare humans these days.

None so Blind by Harry Turtledove

A group of Europeans go around the new world’s jungle looking for dragons. On the way, they come face to face with creatures such as vampires and unicorns. This is a great little story exploring the difference between us x them or savages x civilised: as the supposed civilised people do not blink when creatures THEY believe in come out of the jungle and yet the refuse to believe in dragons because the “savages” believe in them.

Joboy by Diana Wynne Jones

The telling about The Destruction of London and the story behind it. A young boy whose father is mysteriously killed and who falls ill with a similar malady which symptoms includes tiredness and dryness. Very twisted Dragon and how one becomes one. It touches issues as adolescence and people having to admit about their dragons and what would happen if you don’t.

Puz-Le by Gregory Maguire

A young teenager stuck her mother when renting a cottage for holiday and starts to rain. She finds a weird puzzle with a dragon to pass her time and is completely engrossed with it. This is one story where I had the feeling that there was much more to come and it left me wanting more.

After the Third Kiss by Bruce Coville

A girl is cursed by her stepmother to become a dragon and the only way to become human again is for her brother to kiss her three times. This is what happens after those kisses, the consequences and sad, dark repercussions of it. There is a spin to a fairy tale (with frogs and dragons) and a bit of mystery behind it all.

The War that Winter Is by Tanith Lee

In ilo tempore: A tale of beginnings of times, maybe, where the dragon brings the cold. A group of nomads go around scavenging when they find the remains of a destroyed village and they save a baby who is to be The Hero. The hero grows up, and he is alien to the people that brought him up because of the very thing that allowed him to survive. Is he the same or is he the other? Very different story.

The Dragon’s Tale by Tamora Pierce

Another one where the dragon is the narrator and it opens:

“Bored, I was bored, bored, bored. If I spoke as two-leggers did, I could have made “bored” into a chant. “

This is set in the author’s Tortall universe and is a story of how the dragon (who is a teenage dragon in case you couldn’t tell by the quote) tries to find something to do while her human foster parents are taking care of grown up stuff. I like the magic system in this world and this is another one that had me wondering: why am I not reading her books?

Dragon Storm by Mary Rosenblum

A girl and a boy are out fishing when they come across a dragon’s egg about to hatch. The dragon proves to be from a species that was thought to be extinct and it is a surprise when the girl can actually communicate with the baby dragon. This one is about fear of the different, about bullies (who so deserve to become dragon food) and about friendship.

The Dragaman’s Bride

The final story in the collection and another favourite. Set in the US around the 30s, a crazy sheriff goes around entrapping teenage girls and boys and having them undergo surgery to prevent them from having children. Quite different tale, which includes a few ghosts, some imps, the devil’s son-in-law, a dragon with a heart of gold and a powerful witch who is the narrator. The fantasy creatures (including the devil’s son-in law) being much more amicable and compelling than the human ones. The perfect way to close the selection.

As you can see from my thoughts, I tend to prefer and gravitate towards the stories that are funnier and lighter but I think there is a little bit here for all sorts of readers.

Notable quotes/ Parts:

From Peter S. Beagle’s Oakland Dragon Blues. The cop tries to get the dragon to move and clear the traffic jam:

“Sir, I am not trying to start anything with you – I’m having enough trouble just believing in you. But I’ve got to get you out of this intersection before somebody gets hurt. I mean, look at all those people, listen to those damn horns.” The Racket was already giving him a headache behind his eyes. “You think you could maybe step over here to the curb, well’s talk about it? That’d work out much better for both of us, don’t you think?”

The dragon raised its head and favoured him with a long, considering stare. “I don’t know. I like this about as well as I like anyplace in this world, which is not at all. Why should I make things easier for you? Nobody ever cares about making anything easier for me, let me tell you.”

Additional Thoughts: there is a website for the book which includes all the authors and editors’ biographies and an excerpt of the book. Check it out: The Dragon Book

Verdict: If you like: Fantasy, Short Stories and Dragons, look no further than this book. It has a great variety of tales.

Rating: 8 – Excellent

Reading Next: One Con Glory by Sarah Kuhn

Title: Taste of Tenderloin

Author: Gene O’Neil

Genre: Horror

Publisher: Apex Book Company
Publishing Date: August 2009
Paperback: 162 pages

Stand alone or series: Stand alone

How did I get the book: ARC from the publisher

Why did I read the book: We always try to support small publishers and given how one of the stories was a Stoker award finalist, we were more than happy to say yes when contacted by the publisher. I am the one reading it as part of my Halloween week homework.

Summary: Eight stories of dark science fiction and fantasy weave a path through the underbelly of San Francisco’s most notorious district in Taste of Tenderloin by Gene O’Neill. Best known for his strong sense of place and uniquely vibrant characters, O’Neill brings the gritty underside of the city to life with eight interwoven stories of broken lives, missed dreams, and all that can go wrong with both reality and fantasy among the down and out. The city itself opens wide to swallow all comers with the temptation of its secrets and sins, while O’Neill brings dignity and humanity to a set of characters often overlooked in both society and fiction.

Review: Taste of Tenderloin is a collection of short stories by horror writer Gene O’neil all set against the backdrop of the Tenderloin District in San Francisco; there are eight stories altogether, some of them never published before, all of them dark tales following around a few denizens of the ‘Loin.

The anthology is quite diverse in its offering with stories that range from the fantastic to the hauntingly realistic but all of them have something in common: the ugly, brutal life in the streets of the district. They are much less frightening than I expected them to be as instead of gritty horror, we are confronted by characters steeped in and suffering the consequences of poverty, crime, homelessness, addiction – which may not be scary but certainly is horrific. The description of their environs is quite vivid, as the characters walk the streets of the ‘Loin, brushing shoulders with petty criminals, prostitutes, drug addicts, war veterans.

Even the stories that have a Sci-Fi or Fantasy twist to it are still very much within a certain realm of possibility depending on how the reader approaches the tale. Quite frankly, reading these stories, reminded me of the X-Files’ Monster of the Week episodes in which two possible outcomes coexisted and I had a Mulder sitting on my left shoulder telling me to believe and a Scully sitting on the right side telling me that these characters are suffering from Post-traumatic Stress Disorders, drug induced hallucinations or withdrawal syndrome.

One such story and one of my favourites is Balance in which a veteran goes around killing people in order to maintain the Law of Catastrophic Isostasy ,a mission he believes is given to him by Lady Justice. This story is batshit insane and it does not surprise me that it has been nominated for an Award. Similarly impressive are The Apotheosis of Nathan McKee and Bushido , the former relating the change in the life of main character who becomes invisible after a beating , the latter describing how an Ugly Man is given a second chance to follow The Way of the Warrior.

I also very much enjoyed the first one, Lost Patrol about a Vietnam veteran who is visited by the ghosts of his former patrol and Magic Words who presents a gypsy and Pact. In keeping with the TV themed comparisons, these two reminded me of short-ish Twilight Zone episodes. The first story, Lost Patrol even opens and closes with a narration that I could easily picture Rod Serling’s voice, over it.

Overall, I liked the experience of reading these tales, even if I am not a horror fan. These are all sad stories of characters stuck in a rut, some of them being able to escape (regardless if you believe in the manner in which they escaped or not) some sinking further into their fortunes.

Notable Quotes/ Parts: My favourite story was Balance (the one that was a Stoker finalist) and it is the only one that is available online. You can read the entire story here for a taste of … Taste of Tenderloin: Balance

Verdict: This is a good anthology, with diverse characters and stories and a balanced mix of realism and fantasy.

Rating: I am wavering between a 6 and a 7. Most stories were Good. Some were Very Good.

Reading Next: The Dragon Book Anthology

Title: Malpractice: An Anthology of Bedside Terror

Author: Anthology, edited by Nathaniel Lambert

Genre: Horror, Anthology, Short Fiction, Flash Fiction

Publisher: Necrotic Tissue
Publication Date: March 2009
Paperback: 240 pages

Stand alone or series: Stand alone anthology

How did I get this book: Review Copy from Publisher

Why did I read this book: Necrotic Tissue is a quarterly magazine dedicated to horror writers, and Malpractice is their first anthology. When the publisher wrote to us with a review query for this anthology, we were more than happy to accept. We try to do our part to support smaller press efforts, especially in the realm of horror – not to mention Malpractice sounded like good, old fashioned, horrific fun. What better setting for tales of terror than a hospital?

Summary: (from NecroticTissue.com)
Regimens. Routine. A simple checkup. Measure your cholesterol and reflex response, and then you’ll be on your way; clean bill of health. But routines have a tendency to take detours. Tests come back abnormal; too many red numbers and falling graphs place you on an unpaved road, travelling a course that’s the furthest thing from routine.

All you can do is clench the steering wheel and close your eyes.

Review:

Malpractice is a collection of 18 short stories and 13 “100-word Bites” – that is, flash fiction – from assorted authors, all united by a single commonality: they are all set in the evilest hospital in existence, Bloom Memorial. These horrific stories and bites range from psychological to supernatural terror, from crazed nurses, demonic doctors, malignantly hungry tumors to dystopian futures – and everything in between. (Yes, you just read that sentence correctly)

Besides all these stories being inextricably tied to Bloom Memorial, they also share one other similarity:

All of these stories are pretty damn good.

As with any anthology, certain entries are bound to be better than others. Amongst the winners, there are an inevitable few that missed the mark, or did not manage to satisfy. In the case of Malpractice, though, these low notes are few and far between, and I found myself impressed with the overall quality of each entry. Not only were these stories almost uniformly well-written and effectively horrific, but the variation between each piece is remarkable. Certain duds committed the usual new-horror-author-blunders, the most egregious and painfully annoying of which is a tendency to use a thesaurus for adjectives (e.g. “Mid-day sunlight dappled through the deciduous canopy above,” emphasis added), followed closely by the tendency to write overly-ornate, awkwardly phrased descriptions (of often pedestrian, predictable images) as a substitute for novelty or atmospheric terror (e.g. “Their skin was a livid purple, crawling with legions and busily squirming bugs. Their bald scalps shone like beacons above their bloated faces, in which the only truly distinguishable features were their teeth and eyes. Their teeth, long tusk-like protuberances, erupted out of the middle of their faces and jutted obscenely into the room. The eyes, murky green slits, fixed on Carol with malevolence that was genuinely childish in its obviousness.”). And yet, even these duds often had some salvageable merit in their ideas, if somewhat lacking in execution.

More important than these low notes are the overwhelming high ones in Malpractice. My personal favorite stories were “A Kind of Living” by Paul Harris, “Post-Procedural Care on the Bloom Memorial Line” by Jeremy Kelley, “Universal Donor” by Bryce Albertson, “7734″ by Douglas R. Burchill, and “Snip” by Jennifer Greylyn. In “A Kind of Living,” Mr. Harris examines a world where every social and economic problem of humanity has been solved – hunger, money woes, even sickness have been eradicated – but at what cost? “Post-Procedural Care on the Bloom Memorial Line” takes the story outside of Bloom Memorial’s dark halls and on a hiking trail, where two unsuspecting nature adventurers find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time, on the hospital’s private train tracks. In Mr. Albertson’s “Universal Donor,” a nurse with a personal axe to grind takes it out on a convicted killer under her care. “7734″ is a more traditional supernatural horror novel, with a distinct, Boschian style of surrealism – roommates in Bloom find themselves with certain…enhancements. Which they use to attempt to escape from the hospital’s ever-growing walls. In “Snip,” one of the most original and cleverly written stories of the bunch, a man is admitted to the emergency room with a unique story he cannot open his mouth to tell. Weaving Greek mythology into the medical horror setting, Ms. Greylyn’s story is neck and neck with “7734″ for my favorite of the whole bunch. There are some wonderful gems in Malpractice, and these are just a few of the standouts.

I should also mention that I’m not a huge fan of flash fiction, but the “Bites” in this novel did a pretty convincing job of getting me to drop my bias against this form of abbreviated storytelling. It’s a very, very hard thing to engage a reader in 100 words, and each of the 13 Bites did a damn good job. In particular, I loved the black humor of “Malignant” by Daniel R. Robichard and “Gravity Feed” by Lee Pederson, as well as the creepiness of “Patient Care” by none other than Stoker Nominated Joel A. Sutherland, a Book Smuggler favorite author.

Additional Thoughts: Hospitals and horror – it’s not such an unlikely combination. Fans of this particular medical blend might also appreciate checking out the following – and fans of the following might want to check out this anthology.

The Kingdom, is a Danish television mini-series. Set in the neurosurgical ward of Copenhagen’s Rigshospitalet – the country’s major hospital, built upon “bleaching ponds” – The Kingdom follows a large cast of characters in the hospital as strange, supernatural events occur. It’s a bizarre, trippy show, but definitely worth a rental.

Then, there’s Kingdom Hospital from Stephen King. Based on The Kingdom, Stephen King wrote this miniseries about a hospital built on an old civil war mill, where – you guessed it – strange, supernatural phenomena occur. The series started out strong but kinda floundered in the later episodes, but still worth checking out for King fans. It’s especially worth checking out if you’re a Dark Tower fan, like myself – those easter eggs (Nozz-a-la, Candleton – of Charlie the Choo-Choo/Blaine the Mono infamy) are irresistible. Plus, if nothing else, the intro sequence is pretty cool.

Also, if you’re a LOST geek like myself, you’ll be tickled to know that Evangeline Lily (aka Kate, aka she who used to be cool but now has been relegated to crying uselessness) is in an episode as the chick sleeping in bed, before Benson offs himself.

Verdict: Malpractice is a rare anthology with impressive scope in its range of material; even more impressive, though, is the uniformly high quality of each of its stories. Absolutely recommended.

Rating: 7 – Very Good

Reading Next: Fifty-Two Stitches Anthology

Title: The Orphan’s Takes – In The Night Garden

Author: Catherynne M. Valente

Genre: Fantasy

Publisher: Spectra
Publishing Date: October 31, 2006
Paperback: 496 pages

Stand Alone or series: First of a two-volume series. The second book, The Orphan’s Tales – In The Cities of Coin and Spice was published in 2007.

Why did we read the book: It was recommend to us by a LOT of people, including Kristen from Fantasy Cafe and AnimeJune from Gossamer Obsessions. How could we say no?

Summary: (from amazon.com)
Secreted away in a garden, a lonely girl spins stories to warm a curious prince: peculiar feats and unspeakable fates that loop through each other and back again to meet in the tapestry of her voice. Inked on her eyelids, each twisting, tattooed tale is a piece in the puzzle of the girl’s own hidden history. And what tales she tells! Tales of shape-shifting witches and wild horsewomen, heron kings and beast princesses, snake gods, dog monks, and living stars — each story more strange and fantastic than the one that came before. From ill-tempered “mermaid” to fastidious Beast, nothing is ever quite what it seems in these ever-shifting tales — even, and especially, their teller. Adorned with illustrations by the legendary Michael Kaluta, Valente’s enchanting lyrical fantasy offers a breathtaking reinvention of the untold myths and dark fairy tales that shape our dreams. And just when you think you’ve come to the end, you realize the adventure has only begun.

REVIEW:

First Impressions:

Thea: The first impression I had when I started In the Night Garden was of Scheherezade and Arabian Nights – of sleepless nights filled with endless tales of heroic quests, monsters, and magic. This novel is Ms. Valente’s version of the 1001 nights, and it is a spectacular undertaking of a novel, weaving story within story within story a hundred times over. The prose is lush, the illustrations beautiful, storytelling completely enchanting – as with the Sultan to his Scheherezade, or the young boy prince to the strange orphan with her black rimmed eyes, I found myself enthralled by these strange, gorgeous tales.

Ana:Welcome to a rare event here at The Book Smugglers: we present you Bad Smuggler/Good Smuggler, featuring Ana, as The Bad Smuggler.

When I first started reading In The Night Garden, I was completely enamoured with it and I couldn’t agree more with Thea’s assessment above. The fascination lasted for about 200 pages or so and then, all of a sudden, it was no more. This book, in principle, should have been catapulted to my list of all time favourites and yet, it hasn’t. To say that I am totally befuddled with myself is to put it very mildly.

On the Plot:

Thea: It’s hard to talk about a traditional plot with In the Night Garden – on the outermost layer, it’s the story of a young, handsome princeling who discovers a mysterious girl in the gardens surrounding the sultan’s castle. Though of a noble family, the girl was born with a birthmark, surrounding both eyes with dark, inky black circles so she was cast out of the palace as a demon. The young boy, however, sees the orphaned girl and talks to her, and she tells him a story unlike any he’s ever heard before. The girl tells the prince two full stories, separated into two books in In the Night Garden, The Book of the Steppe, and The Book of the Sea, though the second story loops around and overlaps with the first. The Steppe begins with a simple tale of a crown prince who itches for adventure and discovers a flock of geese surrounding a witch’s cottage at the edge of the woods. When he kills one of the geese and it turns into a young woman, however, the Prince’s story grows stranger and stranger, as he learns the truth of the witch and her daughter-goose, an old war, wondrous monsters with noble hearts and ferocious faces, evil wizards, and the magic of stars. As the girl tells the prince her tale, she leaves off each night with a Scheherezadian cliffhanger, promising to tell him the rest when the two next meet. The prince finds himself enthralled by the girl’s powerful words, and continues to seek her out night after night, begging her to tell him another story after she’s finished with the first.

What can I say about these stories? They are breathtaking. They are eerie and haunting and lovely and terrible and beautiful all at once. There is no doubt that Ms. Valente has a gift for storytelling to rival her orphan girl, seamlessly weaving mythological tales from different cultures into a stunning tapestry. Each story blends into the next, separated by episodic chapter headings according to narrator (“The Wolf’s Tale,” “The Pale Girl’s Tale,” “The Discourse of the Marsh King”), and offering lovely illustrations (by comic book artist Michael Wm. Kaluta below*).

The only drawback to the novel is that because there are so many characters and stories separated into different chapters, it can be a bit confusing to keep track of exactly whose story you’re reading – especially if you have to put the book down for a bit and then try to re-engage. In the Night Garden is a sprawling, circular novel with only a glimmer of a thread of linear storyline – of the orphan, the princeling and his angry sister – connecting the disparate tales. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s unique, it’s different, and I loved it.

Ana: I simply cannot fault this book with regards to storytelling, writing or presentation. It is a tour de force and I was completely awed by each story, by the amazing events and the sheer scope of ideas and stories presented. The author NOT ONLY spins tale after tale with a wonderful variety (from sad stories to happy stories, from fantasy to politics, from mythology to religion) but she also makes them unique with very original twists to well-known tropes. She makes fun of the Hero’s Quest, she has princesses looking like monsters and being hailed for it, she has the Girl saving the Guy and so and so forth until one’s mind is spinning along with the stories themselves. This is a highly polished book that defies convention not only in format but also in content. It doesn’t go from A to B in a straight line (plot-wise or character-wise) and to expect it to read like that is a sure way to invite disappointment.

From a strictly intellectual point of view, the book is pretty amazing. For all intents and purposes, I should have loved the book. The IDEA of the book itself is mind-blowing in its creativity and the author’s mastery of storytelling is akin to people like Neil Gaiman and this is a comparison that I do not take lightly.

HOWEVER. Not all stories are interesting. I found myself bored with a few, and after a while when a new story began and I hadn’t seen the end of the previous one, I started to moan to myself “OMG, not another one”. But my main problem , if I can call it that, was that if I apply my sorry attempt of a reviewing process to it, I realise that the most important piece, at least for me, is missing. It goes something like this:

Is this is well written book? Hell yes.

Is it believable (you know, in the confines of the genre and the story, not that I believe that there ARE griffins and monopods for reals)? Yes, Quite

Do I care? Hummm…Yes?

How much do I care? Not much.

And that is all there is to it. I lacked an emotional connection with the characters because there were so many and they came and they went. This goes back to what I said about convention and I find myself one that is disappointed; but above all, would you believe it, I am disappointed in ME, because I wanted to really love this book and I didn’t, despite how much I like the premise and how much I enjoyed the beginning . Instead I rushed through the final 200 pages, I even committed the Sin of Skimming. And I feel like I am losing something by even admitting to it. Colour me surprised by my own reaction. This is clearly a case, of “It’s not the book , it is me”.

*Art pictured is not from In the Night Garden, but is Orphan’s Tales inspired art from Mr. Kaluta. For more images of his gorgeous art, look online HERE.

On the characters:

Thea: This is where things get even more tricky – there are SO MANY characters in this novel, one for each chapter, who flicker into and out of the book briefly. There is no real traditional “hero” or “heroine,” (arguably the main characters would be the orphan girl and the prince) but there are many, many memorable characters whose stories – no matter how brief – touched me. The Witch woman in the first story, “The Tale of the Prince and the Goose,” and her wise Grandmother and her poor, war-defeated people; the heron-headed Marsh King and his sole courtier, the Lucrotta named “Beast”; the terrible, stinking Wizard who yearns for the power of the stars; the lone sad pumpkin tree and her garden, with her friend the firebird; three cynocephaloi, dog-headed brothers; the brave and strong Sigrid weaving her nets; the tragic Eyvind, a man who was a bear. I think my favorite character, however, existed outside of the orphan’s tales, in the form of the prince’s eldest sister, Dinarzad. She punishes her younger brother for sneaking out of the palace, and for his dalliance with the demon who could curse their home – and even though both characters are two insignificant heirs as the Sultan has many, many children, Dinarzad is the one who insists on propriety, who “would have been sultan” were she not born a woman. Over the course of the book, outside of the orphan’s stories, we learn tantalizing bits about Dinarzad and why she is so harsh to a younger brother who wants to rebel.

Ana: When I finished the book I emailed Thea and I told her I was SO conflicted about it and mostly because of lack of a character arc to get me going and she replied talking about the characters above. She is right, on all accounts – all of these stories and characters ARE interesting, I can SEE that. But somehow, they were all passing, fleeting connections.

I really wanted to read more about the girl, the prince and Dinazard and I was completely frustrated to find out in the end that I would have to read yet another book with another handful of stories like these to finally be able to see how it all ends. I am completely aware of the fact that I am reading this with not quite the right frame of mind, that I am missing the point, that this book is the sort of the book where the journey matters more than the final destination.

I think that the greatest thing that came out of reading In The Night Garden though, was what I found out about me, as a reader. I constantly say that character trumps plot but that story trumps all and I found that this sometimes, is simply not true. Maybe to me, character trumps all, even story. Maybe, I am more conventional than I thought I was.

And I realised that this ended up being a review of my own reading the book than of the book itself – isn’t that great though? When a book sparks this sort of reaction?

Final Thoughts, Observations and Rating:

Thea: I can understand why some might find this sort of labyrinthine story with its many characters, flashing bright only to vanish completely like fallen stars themselves, might not appeal to some readers. But I? I loved it. It may have been a taxing experience to read this novel, and it required me to focus and challenge myself to keep track of the story at hand, to read large chunks of the book at a time lest I break the spell that held me in the Ms. Valente’s thrall…but I still loved it. This is not a book you pick up casually to read in starts and stops, nor is it a traditional novel in the sense of the word. But what it is, is a beautiful, imaginative, haunting work of fiction that resonates with all its wonder and eeriness. I loved it.

Ana: I don’t think this is a book for everybody – but then again, which book is? It requires attention, and time from the reader and some, as positive reviews all over the place and Thea’s own reaction attest to it, will be rewarded with the sheer magnitude of Catherynne M. Valente’s imagination. I am so sad that I am not one of them. I feel like a kid standing outside a Christmas’ shop staring to the marvellous things inside without being able to enjoy them. Mind you, it’s not that I didn’t like it – I just didn’t love it either.

Notable Quotes/ Parts:

Ana:
One of my favourite characters and stories – was that of the Beast and the Marsh King. This was by far the most hilarious thing I read in a while and we all know how much I love comedy.

The Marsh King transforms a bear into a man and he is to remain so…

“until”, and here he (the Marsh King) cleared his long blue throat dramatically, “the virgin is devoured, the sea turns to gold, and the saints migrate west on the wings of henless eggs.”

“In the Stars’ name, what does that mean?” I (the Bear) gasped.

“I haven’t the faintest idea! Isn’t it marvellous? Oracles always have the best poetry! I only repeated what I was told, it is rather rude of you to expect magic, prophecy and interpretation. That’s asking quite a lot, even from a King.” He appeared quite flustered, feather blushing up into an indignant violet. “Just, well, keep a lookout for that sort of thing, don’t you know. Sea turning to gold. Hard to miss, I’d say. Rather. Lucky to have such obvious signs. I should think you would be grateful.”

Thea: I loved that section too! And I marked it as a notable part. But I have two other favorites to show just how varied a book this is, with each tale. First, from “The Gardener’s Tale.”

I am a tree.

But it is easy to say this tree is me. I was born when the tree before it dropped seed; I opened my eyes underground and ate dirt, dirt like cake and jam and wonderful water dripping through the earth like honey through a sieve. I was always thirsty.

And one day I came up through the ground in a little green shoot. I opened the shoot as easily as a door, and stepped out into the sun, a child like any other child. But I still slept in the tree every night as it grew, and as I grew. I loved it like a limb, and it loved me like a torso, and we were very happy together.

And the second, from “The Wizard’s Tale.”

“Demons!” he bellowed, full of horror.

“Children! My children, my beautiful hatchlings. They are perfect! You did not take the time to discover the nature of our order before you ruined us. I do not worship the serpent god — I am the serpent god! I sat in the sky when the earth was nothing but air. Once a month I return to my old form to bathe in what thin, distant light I can glimpse, and they with me, for you touch me and touch me and take me from myself, so that I have nothing left with which to nurse them. I have given you a litter of demigods, Indrajit, who would have filled a thousand books with their deeds. Now they are nothing and you are damned.”

[...]At this she lunged at him, sighing again into her serpent-self. But Indrajit signaled and in a breath twelve of the Varaahasind were at his side, and the Captain had sliced off the serpent’s ponderous head with a clean stroke of his blade.

It was the decree of the Raja that a great feast was to be held for the Varaahasind that night. The body of the great snake was dressed and quartered, and sent down to the bubbling kitchens. Each of the men was to eat his share of the succulent meat, so that Zmeya could never return, trailing that doom behind her. And Indrajit himself would eat her swollen heart, and so take the strength of the serpent-god into his breast, and spread his reign across the sea.

For a full excerpt from the book, check the author’s site HERE.

Additional Thoughts: The Orphan’s Tale is written in the style of One Thousand and One Nights – or Arabian Nights – a collection of Persian folk tales that date back to the 9th century, and which seems to be one of the earliest examples of the “stories within stories” narrative, if not the first. The basic story is that of a sultan who after discovering his wife cheated on him, had her executed and proceeded to marry virgins and only to have them beheaded the morning after the wedding night. His vizier’s daughter, Scheherazade, offers to be the next bride, and on their wedding night she begins telling him a story. When the morning comes and she has not finished her tale, the sultan decides to postpone the execution until the following day so that he can learn how the story ends. That night Scheherazade expands on the tale with another interconnected one, and so on and so forth for 1001 nights and by the end of it, the sultan finds himself happily married.

Amongst the most famous stories that Scheherazade tells are Ali Baba and The Forty Thieves (“Open Sesame!”) and Aladdin and the Wonderful Lamp. Ana’s favourite is The Seven Voyages of Sinbad The Sailor which were immortalized in 3 wonderful stop-motion movies by His Awesomeness Ray Harryhausen. One of the favourite movies when growing up is Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger (with the tiger and the baboon) because it is SUCH a great adventure:

Thea’s favorite (besides of course Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, Aladdin and the awesomeness of Sinbad – I used to have this glorious illustrated version of the Sinbad stories) was the story of the fisherman who is able to trick the Efrit he catches in his net out of killing him and back into his bottle. There’s also “The Brass City” which is eerie and wonderful, but I’ve only read that particular tale recently.

We also recommend the recent(ish) three-hour long TV Miniseries (starring a stunning Mili Avital as Scheherezade, Dougray Scott as the mad sultan Shahryar, Rufus Sewell as Ali Baba, Jason Lee as Aladdin, and John Leguizamo as the Genie) which is great fun!

Rating:

Ana: I haven’t got a clue how to rate this. It is a GREAT book but not for me

Thea: 9 Damn Near Perfection

Reading Next: Give Up The Ghost by Megan Crewe

Title: The Eternal Kiss

Author: Various – see list below.

Genre: YA (all vampire stories)

Publisher: Running Press
Publishing date: July 28, 2009
Paperback: 416 pages

Stand alone or series: both. Some stories are stand alone some are part of series.

Summary: There’s an allure to vampire tales that have seduced readers for generations. From Bram Stoker to Stephanie Meyer and beyond, vampire stories are here to stay. For those fresh-blooded fans of paranormal romance or for those whose hunt and hunger never dies, these stories have what readers want! This collection of original tales comes from some of the hottest, most popular, and best-selling YA writers.

Why did I read the book: FULL DISCLOSURE – I don’t usually read anthologies but I just had to read this one mainly for two reasons: my friend Karen Mahoney has a story in it (hooray!) and I was very happy and proud about it! And because of Sarah Rees Brennan ‘s story –she is now an instant-buy for me.

Review:

The Eternal Kiss is a new anthology for Young Adults with 13, vampire-themed short stories. In all honesty, usually I find that anthologies have one or two stories that are REALLY good and the remaining ones, mediocre at best (unless we are talking about Neil Gaiman and the book Smoke and Mirrors, but I digress). To my surprise, I found The Eternal Kiss to be a really well-balanced collection of stories and I ended up enjoying all of them (although some more than others, of course). It also worked really well for me as a taster for I had never read any book by most of these writers before. I particularly enjoyed Maria Snyder, Rachel Caine and Kelley Armstrong’s writing – Thea has been raving about these writers for some time now and I am yet to pick up their books. Their stories here gave me the final push, definitely.

Another aspect that is relevant to mention is how diverse these stories are: some of them are self-contained, others are clearly connected to other stories by the authors or the beginning of a larger tale. There is also a great variety in the way the vampires are approached (good vampires, bad vampires, romantic vampires, etc) and with regards to the genre of each story: there is Comedy, Romance, a lot of Horror and Urban Fantasy.

Now, for the stories themselves in the order they appear in the anthology :

Falling to Ash by Karen Mahoney – a Vampire called Moth reunites with her sire (whom she may or may not love) and he tasks her to get the ashes of a staked vampire kept by the vampire hunter who killed him. He meets with the hunter’s son and they have a stand-off. I really liked Moth and her attitude – how can you not love a young(ish) vampire girl named Moth. Really? – and there are a couple of cool fighting sequences and an interesting spin on vampire lore. This is clearly an open-ended story and the author has been working on Moth’s story.

Shelter Island by Melissa de la Cruz – a 15 year old girl who lives in a mysterious holiday place – Shelter Island – and one night is visited by a vampire boy who is terrified of someone out there. This is a very short story and although I liked the writing well enough and the idea behind the story , this was also the one tale that frustrated me the most. Note to Young Adults out there: if you find that there is a vampire living inside your closet you run for help, you scream for your parents, you pick up a lamp and throw at him, you FREAK OUT. You do not, I repeat, do not, keep it a secret and then offer your neck as a sustenance. Just saying.

Sword Point by Maria V. Snyder – Ava is a very driven teenage girl who loves fencing and wishes to make the Olympics. She starts training at the Academy of the Sword and then meets a guy named Jarrett who is a martial arts instructor and who ends up introducing Ava to the supernatural world. This is one of the stories where vampires =BAD. I was surprised at how in such a short amount of pages, Maria Snyder was able to convey a lot about Ava and I really liked this character and her voice.

The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black – Ah. Easily one of the best stories in the book – another one where vampires are not really GOOD. A young girl tries to fight becoming a vampire after she is bitten. If she manages not to drink blood for a number of days, the venom is expelled – she does that by being constantly drunk. But it is hard and even harder when she finds out that a friend and the guy she loves have gone to Coldtown, where the vampires live. This is a pretty atmospheric and horrific self-contained tale. I loved it.

Undead is Very Hot Right Now by Sarah Brennan – Hands down my favourite story in the anthology and worth the purchase just for this one. I have read Sarah Rees Brennan’s book The Demon’s Lexicon (recently released) and found that I really like her brand of sarcastic humour, something that is really evident in this short story. Basically, a young vampire joins a boy band and hilarity ensues as he tries to fit in this new world. Do you know how in each boy band, there is always one that is the “hot” one, or the “cool” one? Christian is the “gimmick” and every single cliché about boy bands and vampires are explored here to maximum laugh out loud factor.

Kat by Kelley Armstrong – I thought this to be a very interesting story as Kat and her vampire guardian flee some unknown pursuers. Kat is the result of a genetic experiment and she knows that she is a paranormal being of some sort (she wishes she could be a were-cat) but so far there is no evidence of WHAT she is. I like the dynamics between Kat and her foster mother and the fighting scenes were cool too. It reads like the beginning of a new series.

The Thirteenth Step by Libba Bray – Another one of the more “horrific” variety in which a girl finds a job at a House for recovering addicts. She is driven there because of her own, unhappy family story with drugs and her need to do something. Unfortunately things are not what it seems and there is a thirteenth step that all must go through. There is a bit of romance to counterbalance the horror of a self-contained story.

All Hallows by Rachel Caine – This is the only story that is part of a larger series, The Morganville Vampires series. I have not read any of them but I was not lost when I read All Hollows. It did make me wonder about the overall story arc though – seems pretty interesting. Eve Rosser dates a vampire and then he goes missing and together with some friends (including a hunter) she goes after him.

Wet Teeth by Cecil Castellucci – I loved the opening sentence of this one, with a vampire musing about how pieces of skin always remain on his teeth after he bites someone. It is a very appropriate opening to a creepy story – it sets the mood just fine. Another horror story and a sad one at that. Boy meets girl and there is no happily ever after.

Other Boys by Cassandra Clare- there is a new guy in school and he says he is a vampire – attracting the girl who is the main character. Things are not what they seem though and there is a twist. This one is another horror story and even though it wasn’t bad, it didn’t rock my world either.

Passing by Nancy Holder and Debbie Viguié – Now, this one has an interesting premise. In a post Vampire -apocalypse world, a group of students go to the Academia, in Spain (love the setting) to learn how to become hunters. There is a lot of background that was left out but the story is interesting enough and I wouldn’t mind reading more about it. Here is hoping for a series.

Ambition by Lili St. Crow – I think this is the darkest of the stories in the anthology, one that has an ending open for interpretation and no matter how much I think of it, I only come up with this terrifying feeling. This is a story of bullies and high school separation of class – and also about a girl who ends up being seduced (and dazed) by the dark side. I sort of liked it, in a totally creepy kind of way. Reminded me of Heathers.

All Wounds by Dina James – another one that seems to be the beginning of a new series with a girl struggling to make do with going to school and taking care of her grandmother who seems to be losing her mind. Then, she discovers that there is more to her family than she thought and that things like vampires and hellhounds are very much real. And …there is a set up for a Love Triangle of Doom and god damn me, I liked both guys.

And check out the Australian cover:

Which one do you prefer?

Additional Thoughts: Karen Mahoney will be here later today guest blogging about writing for Young Adults and you will have a chance to win a signed copy of The Eternal Kiss.

Verdict: overall, a pretty good collection of short stories. Horror seems to be the main genre though, so if you are looking for HEA and Romance you won’t find it in here.

Rating: 7 very good.

Reading Next: Prophecy of the Sisters by Michelle Zink

Title: Strange Brew – “Seeing Eye” by Patricia Briggs and “Death Warmed Over” by Rachel Caine

Genre: Urban Fantasy

Publisher: St. Martin’s
Publication Date: July 2009
Paperback: 384 pages

Why did I read this book: I have been anxiously awaiting Patricia Briggs’s new novella, “Seeing Eye,” since our interview with her this spring. Rachel Caine is another of my favorite (post-Anita Blake, heroine-centric) Urban Fantasy authors, so I was eager to see what her non-Weather Warden story would entail.

Summary: (from amazon.com)
Today’s hottest urban fantasy authors come together in this delicious brew that crackles and boils over with tales of powerful witches and dark magic!

For anyone who’s ever wondered what lies beyond the limits of reality, who’s imagined the secret spaces where witches wield fearsome magic, come and drink deep. Let yourself fall under the spell of this bewitching collection!

REVIEW:

“Seeing Eye” by Patricia Briggs

In “Seeing Eye,” Patricia Briggs returns to the world of Mercy Thompson, but follows an entirely new character – the witch (Wendy) Moira Keller. When Tom Franklin, werewolf and second in the Emerald City pack, shows up on Moira’s doorstep asking for her help in finding his kidnapped brother Jon, Moira cannot refuse him, even though it could mean her death. For Moira is no ordinary witch, and she has a dark past connected to those who have taken Jon – the Samhain Coven, led by the cruel and power-hungry Kouros. Together, Moira and Tom set out on Jon’s trail, using her magic and Tom’s strength to discover Jon’s fate, and to face Samhain once and for all.

I am continually awed by Patricia Briggs’s ability to write a complete, engaging story in a such a short amount of space. “Seeing Eye” is on par with another of her exceptional novellas, “Alpha and Omega,” and marks the beginning of a new, exciting character in the Mercy Thompson universe. Though readers of the Mercy Thompson and Alpha & Omega series’ have seen witches in prior books, they have never been fully explored or examined in detail before this story. As with werewolves, walkers, vampires and the fae, Ms. Briggs gives her own take on witches, and in this universe they amass power through death, sacrifice and pain, at the expense of others, or themselves. Moira’s power has come at an extraordinary cost, as Tom soon discovers.

As always, the characters in this story are vivid and compelling – like the Alpha & Omega book (and novella of the same title), “Seeing Eye” is told in the third person but with insights to both Moira and Tom’s thoughts. Moira, as a completely new character, holds her own with Mercy and Anna even in these short pages. A dash of Mercy’s straightforward attitude, a touch of Anna’s compassion, but with a deep strength that is entirely her own, Moira stands out as yet another winning Briggs heroine. She is, as the story blurb admits, blind, but the nature of her blindness is a twist that is guaranteed to shock readers – in a very good way (and I refuse to say more, for fear of spoiling it!).

Similarly, Tom (whom we met briefly in the Alpha & Omega series) is another compelling leading character. As a cop and a dominant werewolf Tom is intimidating in his own right, only made more formidable because of his irreparably scarred face, keepsake from a run-in with a fae knife a few years earlier. Though we barely get to meet Tom and Moira, the chemistry is immediate and undeniable. Though things wrap up nicely by the end of the story, I cannot help but hope that another series may be underway – a sentiment I am certain many readers will share.

Verdict: “Seeing Eye” is worth the book alone, especially if you are a fan of the Mercy Thompson and Alpha & Omega books. Another superb, tightly-written story from the formidable Patricia Briggs.

Rating: 8 Excellent

“Death Warmed Over” by Rachel Caine

Rachel Caine’s contribution to Strange Brew focuses on a world apart from her Weather Warden urban fantasy series, in a world where witches moonlight in extremely specialized fields. Holly Caldwell is one such witch with a rare affinity for resurrecting the dead, working at her day job when she receives a last minute email from her other boss, Sam – a request for a “disposable,” or a long-term resurrection from the local police department. Holly has sworn off disposables ever since her first and last job – because of the pain her impossible relationship with the resurrected caused her. Now, Sam and the police want Holly to raise the same man from her past, a powerful witch named Andrew Toland who died in 1875 fighting an army of resurrected dead gone violent (or more commonly, zombies). Though it pains her to reopen a relationship that is in all ways impossible, Holly breathes life back into Andrew. Unfortunately for them both, only later do they learn that someone has been killing resurrection witches, and Holly is next on the list.

As with “Seeing Eye,” “Death Warmed Over” is another self-contained novella, and one that is deftly plotted. Rachel Caine’s Weather Warden books are among my top three all-time favorite Urban Fantasy series’, in part because of her gift for writing storylines with high stakes and at break-neck speeds. In this sense, “Death Warmed Over” is familiar territory. Ms. Caine’s “Death Warmed Over” is an urban fantasy novella in the mystery/whodunit light, as someone is taking out all the local witches who specialized in resurrection. Though the ending seems a touch rushed, the overall plot is exceedingly well executed. I have to repeat myself – just as with Ms. Briggs’s entry, I am awed by Ms. Caine’s ability to write such a thrilling story with a clear beginning, middle, and ending in all of 50 pages.

“Death Warmed Over” also has more of a romantic slant, and the relationship between Holly and Andrew is nicely portrayed. One thing I admire about Ms. Caine’s writing is her ability to write different characters – her adult urban fantasy heroines, Jo and Cassiel are markedly distinct, and Holly is a worthy addition to their ranks. And as for Andrew, well, he’s unlike a character far removed from Djinn or mere human, and I can guarantee that romance readers will feel right at home with his charm.

I was most impressed with Ms. Caine’s take on witches and magic in this novella. The idea that witches possess hereditary gifts, and are only able to really practice in an extremely specialized niche is intriguing – especially concerning the actual physical acts of resurrection. Something else Ms. Caine writes exceptionally well is the actual visualization of magic. For example:

I parted his clay-cold lips and poured in the first, massive dose of the potion. It pooled in his mouth, liquid silver, and then I performed the part that nobody else could do.

I kissed him, very gently, on the lips and completed the last step of the preset spell. I felt a line of power spooling out of me, traveling through the dark and connecting, with a jolting snap of power, with the spirit of Andrew Toland.

And it only gets better from there.

Verdict: Strange Brew has another winner with this short story. Smart, engaging, sexy, “Death Warmed Over” is another solid entry from Rachel Caine.

Rating: 7 Very Good

Additional Thoughts: If you haven’t read either author’s books yet, you really need to get on board.

Patricia Briggs writes the Urban Fantasy Mercy Thompson series in the following order: Moon Called, Blood Bound, Iron Kissed and Bone Crossed. Book 5, titled Silver Bourne is out February 2010 (with two more books under contract). She also has another current Urban Fantasy series with a more romantic bend with the Alpha & Omega books, in the following order: “Alpha and Omega” (in the On the Prowl anthology) and Cry Wolf. Book 3 in the series, titled Hunting Ground is out next month (check out the first chapter online HERE). If that’s not enough Briggs for ya, her Mercy books have been turned into comic books by the Dabel Brothers – the first four issues are collected in the Homecoming storyarc, available in graphic novel form on August 25th. You can read more about Patty on her website, HERE.

Rachel Caine is the author of the Weather Warden Urban Fantasy series, with books in the following order: Ill Wind, Heat Stroke, Chill Factor, Windfall, Firestorm, Thin Air, and Gale Force. Book 8, titled Cape Storm is out next month. She also has another series set in the same universe as her Warden books called Outcast Season, with one book published, Undone. She also writes a very popular YA series, the Morganville Vampires. For more info on Rachel Caine, check out her website HERE.

Reading Next: Darkness Calls by Marjorie M. Liu

Title: Goth

Author: Otsuichi (Otsu-ichi)

Genre: Horror, Light Novel, Short Fiction

Publisher: TokyoPop
Publication Date: October 2008
Paperback: 240 pages

Stand Alone or Series: A stand alone collection of six connected short stories involving two high school students. The novel was adapted into a one and two-volume manga.

Summary: (from Amazon.com)
A notebook that leads to murder – a refrigerator filled with hands… a pit of dead dogs… an accidental suicide… a boy buried alive – and where two teenagers linked by an obsession with murder and torture explore the recesses of humanity’s dark side.

Why did I read this book: I had never heard of Goth or of its author, Otsuichi (on a sidenote, I love authors that are so badass they only have one name. Granted, it’s hard to pull this off if the name is “Pammy” or something, but it works for Otsuichi)–we received review copies of this novel along with our copies of The Wild Hunt from TokyoPop…so I had absolutely no idea what Goth was about, or what to expect…

Review:
When I received a review copy of this novel in the mail along with my copy of The Wild Hunt, I had absolutely no idea what this novel was about. I had never heard of it, had never seen it in the bookstore before. I didn’t even read the back cover. All I knew was that we had a manga week coming up, and that Goth qualified as one of my reads. Needless to say, I was completely taken unawares by these two hundred pages.

I mean, Holy Shnikies, Batman!

How can I describe my experience with Goth? It kind of feels like I’ve been blindsided by a runaway semi. Make that the evil semi with the Green Goblin face from Maximum Overdrive.

The Evil Green Goblin toy truck from Maximum Overdrive

THAT is how I feel about this disturbing, deliciously depraved novel. Goth is disturbing. It’s dark. It gets under your skin and stays there long after you’ve finished reading the slim volume…and I absolutely loved it (For the record, I love that Green Goblin truck from Maximum Overdrive. Who doesn’t love that movie?).

Goth is divided into six “chapters”, which are actually interconnected short stories involving the two main characters, an unnamed (until the last chapter) male narrator and a girl named Morino. Both characters are outsiders, though the narrator knows how to pretend and smile and chatter about everyday nothings with his classmates. Morino, on the other hand, does everything possible to separate herself from others–glazing over and ignoring anyone that tries to talk to her, wearing only black, expressing no emotions ever. What brings these two different characters together, however, is their shared fascination with death. Morino knows that the narrator puts on a front for the rest of the world, and one day after class she walks up to him:

I would answer if someone spoke to me, and I joked around enough to keep things friendly. I did the bare minimum to lead a normal life. But these were all surface relationships, and all the smiles I produced were lies.

The first time we spoke, Morino saw right through that part of me.

“Will you teach me how to smile like that?” she’d said, standing directly in front of me after school, no expression on her face at all. She must have scorned me for it, privately.

The book opens with the self titled chapter, “Goth”. Morino comes to talk to the narrator and shows him a small notebook she found in the bathroom of her tea house. A killer in their town has abducting two women, and then mutilated their bodies, leaving their remains arranged on different mountains to be discovered by an unlucky passerby. The notebook Morino has found holds a detailed account of both murders–including details that only the killer would be able to know. The book also holds record of a third girl’s murder, Mizuguchi Nanami, a victim who has not yet been discovered. Morino and the narrator travel to the mountain location named in the journal to see if there is a third undiscovered victim, and they find the remains of Nanami. Fascinated, Morino takes the dead girl’s bag and shredded clothes, and begins to dress like the unfortunate victim. That is, until Morino has attracted the attention of the killer, and the narrator receives a text message from Morino, that simply says “help”.

The second story titled “Wrist-cut” is a memory of the narrator’s. He sees Morino’s slender pale wrists while she is writing on a blackboard, and he remembers when earlier that year a “wrist cutter” villain was on the loose. The wrist cutter would attack his victims and sever their hands–leaving the victims alive, but keeping the hands as his trophies. The narrator inadvertently discovers who the hand collector is, and tries to set Morino up as the collector’s next victim.

If he had determined that Morino was the thief, causing him to cut off her hands and kill her, my plan would’ve been complete. I would’ve had to wait until her severed hands were in his fridge, and then I could’ve gone to steal them. Of course there were a number of holes in this plan: There was no guarantee he would have taken her hands home, even if he had killed her…but there was a good chance he would’ve.

The only I hands I had wanted were Morino’s pale, beautiful hands.

The third chapter, entitled “Dog”, features a string of pet abductions. It also uses another first person narrator as a young girl and her beautiful dog go to any lengths to protect themselves from her mother’s abusive boyfriend. Once again, the narrator discovers who is behind the crimes and reacts in his own, strange way.

The fourth story in this book, “Twins” is probably my favorite chapter in Goth. Morino begins the chapter with her complaints of insomnia, and she enlists the narrator to help her find a rope–like the one she used to have–to wrap around her neck and help her sleep at night.

“When I can’t sleep, I always wrap something around my neck, close my eyes, and imagine myself being strangled to death. Then, I can fall asleep–it feels like sinking deep under water.”

Though Morino and the narrator share a strange bond through their mutual fascination with death and the macabre, they aren’t exactly close. Nor are they friends. But in “Twins”, Morino opens up to the narrator and shares a little bit of her story, as the narrator discovers her secret past, and why Morino is so emotionally void.

“Twins” marks a haunting turning point in the novel–and the next two chapters, “Grave” and “Voice”, take a new direction especially so far as the narrator is concerned. In “Grave” a seemingly normal, friendly man succumbs to his darkest hidden desires, and he buries a neighbor’s toddler son alive in his garden. The man searches for his next victim, settling on a local high school girl–and once again, the narrator and Morino end up involved.

In the last story, “Voice”, a high school girl named Natsumi has just lost her older sister to a brutal murder. An unknown high school boy approaches Natsumi with a cassette tape that has Natsumi’s sister’s voice, as she makes a final confession before she dies. The boy splits the audio onto three cassettes, and tells Natsumi she can only hear the whole message if she follows his instructions, ultimately leading to her own murder.

From these brief chapter synopses, it is clear that Goth is no lighthearted romp–it is a journey into the deepest recesses of human depravity, and the end result is truly disturbing. It is easy to show blood and guts and senseless violence–just take a look at the soulless Saw franchise, or pick up any two-bit horror novel by Brian Keene. It’s another thing entirely to go a step further, to question WHY someone would want to maim and torture, to delve into the psyche of someone who is fascinated with these morbid displays and to convey this abject horror to an audience. This is what Goth does with aplomb.

The stitches holding together the assortment of horror in Goth are the characters of Morino and the narrator, and their strange bond. At first glance, Morino seems to be the driving force behind the events of Goth. With her long black hair and pale skin, Morino actually is a beautiful girl–but she pushes aside all outward vestiges of emotion and humanity. Initially I found myself completely turned off to Morino, and felt that she was the one of the pair that was the most terrifying for her lack of feeling. At least the narrator attempted his false front, whereas Morino stood stonefaced, wearing a dead girl’s clothes (in the story “Goth”). She keeps others at a distance and has done so ever since she was a young girl–the reasoning behind this morbid fascination with death, hanging ropes, and her hate of dogs is explored beautifully in “Twins”. And ever so gradually, the narrator and I discover that Morino is not devoid of emotion or feeling. Rather, she is so full of emotion, she has no idea how to express herself. Outwardly she is a blank slate, but inwardly she bleeds and cries just like any other person.

After reading “Twins” it became apparent to me that the truly horrific one, the monster of this story was not Morino, but the nameless narrator. The narrator is Morino’s opposite in every way. To his own family, to outsiders he is an outgoing, normal boy. Friendly. Funny. He sails through life without causing anyone to sit up and take notice of him.

And yet…he is completely devoid of humanity. This passage comparing the two says it best:

As I listened to Morino, I thought to myself that she was very sharp today.

In her eyes, there was no sign of that alien tinge I had seen in those of the killers I had met. She viewed humans as humans. She probably would never kill anyone. She might have unusual interests compared with other humans, but she was still normal.

Morino and I had many things in common–but on this, we differed. This difference was a fundamental one, the difference between humanity…and otherwise.

She was human, the side that always got killed.

I was not.

Goth is so masterful in that these perceptions of the narrator and Morino are completely turned inside out, gradually revealing who is human and who is not. At one point in the story, the narrator compares Morino to a girl in a movie he saw once. The movie is Beetlejuice, the girl is Lydia (played by Wynona Rider)–and at first I could not agree with the sentiment. Lydia in the film is “strange and unusual”, but she tries to be so. In Morino’s case, the initial picture of her is someone completely sick and demented, not that of a teen trying to make herself different as part of a cry for attention. And yet, as the novel continues, after reading “Twins” especially, the narrator’s assessment is spot on. And at the end Morino knows it too…but I won’t spoil that for you.

Suffice to say, the narrator is the one that will give me nightmares in all his cold indifference. Goth succeeds where so many movies and novels fail–instead of creating someone EEEEVIL or some sadistic, depraved supervillain, the narrator is the most terrifying avatar of them all. Because he is coldly, apathetically hollow.

A word on the title–there is nothing whatsoever to do with Goths or Goth culture in this book. In the author’s afterword, he apologizes for the misnomer and for seeming to label Goths as murderers or criminals. Although Morino wears only black and is obsessed with death, that’s about where the “goth” sentiments end.

Despite the misleading title, this is a darkly dazzling nightmare of a novel. Sure, it’s not without its faults (how many crazy murderers/maimers can there be in one small town?), but I still loved every second of it. I started reading this book and could not put it down–except to email Ana with my “Oh my GOD Goth is really good. And disturbing. DON’T READ IT!” sentiments. This is not a book for the faint of heart–but for those who want to truly be shaken by a horrific excursion into the darkest corners of the human mind, I cannot think of a better candidate.

Notable Quotes/Parts: I’ve quoted quite a bit, but my favorite part of this book has to be the last two pages.

Her lips were moving, muttering something, but I couldn’t make it out over the noise of the crowd–not until we left the crowd and had reached the spot where she’d left her bag.

“I think you’re my opposite…” she was whispering, over and over…”At first, I thought you were like me. You reminded me of my sister. But you aren’t. We’re nothing alike.”

Morino’s bag was a simple black one. I picked it up and put it in her hand. It fell to the ground a second later.

I picked it up again, putting her fingers around the handle, but it was useless. She was too out of it to hold on. Her fingers couldn’t stand up to the weight of the bag, and it slid right out of her hand.

“Sometimes, I think you’re smiling with nothing inside you at all…I’m sorry if you take that personally, but that’s what I always think when I see you acting happy around everyone else. And sometimes, I feel really sorry for you.”

She said all this without looking up at me. Her voice was trembling, like a child about to burst into tears.

“But I’m the reverse.”

She looked up now, looked me right in the eye. I was taller than her, and from this distance, she had to look up at me. Her expression was as blank as ever, but her eyes were a little red, and they seemed damp.

“I know,” I said.

Additional Thoughts: Goth put me in the mind of a few J-horror films that I adore–because they are so depraved. The first is Audition, from the notorious Takashi Miike.

The Audition torture scene

This is a slow, creeping horror movie, at times incomprehensible, but always terrifying. The last scene, involving piano wire and severed limbs gave me nightmares.

Another trippy film fans of Goth might like is Three Extremes.

A scene from The Box

This is a collection of three short films from three different Asian directors. The first and last films, “Dumplings” with Bai Ling, and “The Box” from Takashi Miike again, are my favorites and will haunt you long after they are finished.

There’s also the Japanese film Suicide Club, in which children and teens across the country decide to kill themselves–just to do it. I still have no idea what the whole movie means (what the eff is up with the ace bandage-like rolls of skin?!), but the general feeling of senseless detachment matches the feeling of this novel perfectly.

As for Goth itself, it was also adapted into manga format–however, I am hesitant to read the adaptation. The clipped, emotionless prose of the novel is part of its charm–the inner dialogue of the narrator is easily why I found this book to be so disturbing. The manga is necessarily stripped of this and of the narrator’s reptilian perceptions–and I don’t think the story would work nearly as well without them. Here are a few scans of the manga artwork…somehow, the novel just does it better for me.

Verdict: One of the best horror novels I have read in a long time–and I’m not usually a fan of this real-life murderer sort of horror (I’m much more of a supernatural horror kind of gal). Goth is a book that disturbed me profoundly…and I will definitely read it again and again. Highly recommended.

Rating: 9 Damn Near Perfection

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