Welcome to Smugglivus – Day 26!

Throughout this month, we will have daily guests – authors and bloggers alike – looking back at their favorite reads of 2009, and looking forward to events and upcoming books in 2010.

Today’s Guest: Jessica of the romance dedicated blog Racy Romance Reviews. Jessica is, in a word, incredible. Not only is she one of the smartest bloggers we know, she also writes some of the most engaging and thoughtful reviews and essays on teh internets. Today, Jessica will regale us with a review of a holiday movie (well….sort of, it’s a movie that came out during the holiday season at least!) – Avatar.

Please give a hand to Jessica!

It is 2154, and a US corporation has encamped on the planet Pandora, to mine its precious (for reasons not explained in the film) mineral, humorously called unobtainium. Thwarting the corporation’s efforts are the Na’vi, ten foot tall blue natives of Pandora who live in peace with the land and all the living creatures on it. There are two factions among the US invaders: the scientists, led by the tough but principled and caring Dr. Grace Augustine (a wonderful Sigourney Weaver), who hope to forge diplomatic ties with the Na’vi, and gain increased scientific and cultural knowledge that can be put to benign use. The other, SecFor, is the security division of the corporation, led by the trigger-happy Colonel Miles Quaritch. Quaritch channels Bill “I love the smell of napalm in the morning” Kilgore form Apocalypse Now in his disdain for the Na’vi and thirst for battle.

Jake Sully (Sam Worthington), is a disabled former Marine who is approached the the corporation to take up his dead twin brother’s work with Sr. Augustine. Avatars are remotely controlled bodies that are mixes of human and Na’vi DNA. Jake gets into what looks like a tanning bed, is hooked up somehow (this is never shown) and goes to sleep. When he waked up, his consciousness animates the avatar. I spent a lot of time wondering how this was supposed to work. Unlike the mind controlled humans in the Matrix, the avatars are real, but there is no physical connection between the human brain and the Avatar it controls.

It was odd to me at first that Cartesian dualism, a very problematic and outmoded theory of mind body interaction which holds that minds are immaterial (spiritual) substance that somehow interact with and control material, physical substance (bodies). In both philosophy and neuroscience, provided the core of the avatar technology in this film. However, as the film progresses, it is clear that Cameron is in deep sympathy with the Na’vi, whose religion is a kind of amalgam of Native American spirituality and Hinduism: everything is connected, a mysterious benevolent force animates all living things, there is peace, balance, and harmony in the natural world which should be respected and preserved, etc.

Everything in the plot of Avatar is completely predictable, most especially the fact that our hero, Jake, starts out as a grunt going along for the ride and ends up falling in love with the chief’s daughter and leading a rebellion against the US intruders. Other reviewers have called this film “Dances with Aliens” and the comparison to the Costner film is pretty apt. The bad guys are caricatures, not only the Colonel, but Giovanni Ribisi’s Parker Selfridge, the corporate honcho on Pandora. (And yeah, with names like “Grace” and “Selfridge”, Cameron is not leaving anything to chance). It is so apparent so quickly that the corporation would like nothing better than mass genocide that you wonder why they went to the trouble launching the multimillion dollar avatar program in the first place.

The messages in the film are obvious: biodiversity is good, imperialism is bad, we should take care of our natural resources, and we should be more aware of how our remote use weapons of war impacts its targets. as for the last, although I never felt quite as invested in the Na’vi as I was in the good guys in the Star Wars movies or the Lord of the Rings trilogy, there were a couple of moments of destruction and loss in this film that hit me almost as hard as, for example, the battle in The Two Towers at Helm’s Deep. This film also practices the old trick of cliche inversion: the natives are not only not scary violent savages, as the Colonel describes them in an early scene, but they are far superior to humans in many ways, especially morally. They don’t have any of the problems that beset such groups in real human history, such as sexism or autocratic rule, but are nonhierarchical, caring, and good.

Sci fi and fantasy can work when painting in these broad strokes, though, and the point of a movie like this isn’t a lesson in morality or politics. visually, as so many viewers have taken to the internet to proclaim, the film is pretty amazing. 3D is not a gimmick, with things popping out at you, but suffuses the film and just feels like the right way to see Pandora. Pandora is realized in tremendous detail, and the Na’vi never seem like crude Jar Jar Binks clones (Cameorn used real actors and them digitized their performances). While I think Camron maye have lazed a bit too adoringly over the planet (the movie, at 2 hours 40 minutes felt a bit too long), I thought it was breathtaking.

For me, the most compelling part of this movie was the character of Jake Sully, played by Australian actor Sam Worthington. I believe he will become the Luke Skywalker of this generation. I thought he was very natural, sweet, tough-hearted, and in a cougaraish confession, totally hot in both human and avatar form. I thought Jake’s disability — he became a paraplegic fighting in combat– was handled very well, and provided believable motivation for his participation in the avatar project. It’s true that as his avatar, Jake can run and climb, but that alone would not have motivated him to leave earth and take on the jungles of Pandora. Rather, in the future, while the technology is there to fix his legs, he doesn’t have the money.

The romance he develops with a Na’vi woman, voiced by Zoe Saldana (doing yeoman’s work in 2009 as girlfriend of all the best looking sci fi heroes) was very sweet and compelling, probably Cameron’s best romance since the Terminator’s Reese and Sarah Connor.

The score, by James Horner was distracting, ponderous, and reminded me of nothing so much as a dark ride at an Orlando theme park. But then, I hate Horner’s scores and always have. YMMV. The credits close over Leon Lewis sounding and singing a song, “I See You” that is so reminiscent of the Celine Dion theme to Titanic that I heard a number of people humming the tune to “My Heart Will Go On” as we left the theater.

Parental note: My school age boys have (surprisingly) no interest in Avatar, but they have seen Star Trek, Transformers 2, and G.I. Joe. I would say, if you don’t mind the much more frequent use of coarse language, Avatar is on a par in terms of violence and sexual content as any of those, and probably tamer on both counts.

In sum, Avatar was an entertaining, visually arresting film. It does not, in my opinion, qualify as epic. For sheer sci fi fun, Star Trek was my number one of 2009. But even a non-geek like me could sense — if not actually describe — the technical heights Cameron scaled to make it, and that alone is worth the (higher, thanks to those free glasses) price of admission.

Thank you Jessica! (Thea’s note: I freakin’ LOVED Avatar, and agree that everyone should up and see it. NOW.)

Next on Smugglivus: Kristi, The Story Siren

Directed by Chris Weitz
Written by Melissa Rosenberg, based on the novel by Stephenie Meyer
Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Anna Kendrick
Running time: 130 minutes
Rated: PG-13 (violence and action)

Well, folks, it’s finally here. The movie that ravenous Twilight fans, Robert Pattinson-aholics, teenage girls and apparently suburban moms alike have been awaiting with bated breath.

It’s time for New Moon.

The Twilight Saga has become a full-fledged, international phenomenon. Kind of like the Backstreet Boys or the Macarena. Twilight is massively popular and raked in the most money in terms of dvd sales this year, but it’s also one of those phenomena that lack the universal appeal of, say, Harry Potter. Despite the limited demographic and even though substantial mockage has been made of the Twilight Phenom (check out the awesome SNL Parody starring a brunette Taylor Swift in “Firelight“), it’s an international blockbuster – and the legions of fans busting down doors at midnight tonight and all day tomorrow care not what the cynical critics say! It’s New Moon! Shirtless underage boys on steroids! Chalky emo vampires with bad contact lenses, sparklies, and pixie hair! Cheesetastic lines about endearing, all consuming love!

Now while I’m obviously not a huge fan (Breaking Dawn was amazingly terrible), I’ll grant that Twilight has its own appeal. It’s one of those guilty pleasure, silly, I-probably-shouldn’t-be-watching-this-but-I-can’t-look-away films. So far as adolescent vampire love story films go, Twilight is an entertaining as they come. When I was lucky enough to get invited to watch an early screening of New Moon, I experienced a strange mixture of emotions. My hopes weren’t high by any stretch of the imagination – but I was expecting to be entertained, even if it was on a guilty pleasure level.

Sadly, New Moon just isn’t a very good movie. On any level.

At just over a draggy two hours, New Moon has some moments of intentional humor and genuine sweetness, but these are far and few between – not to mention, they are overshadowed by poor pacing, shoddy direction, and an abundance of unintentionally hilarity.

After a comically bugeyed Jasper (audiences burst into laughter at his “serious face” – no joke):

attacks Bella when she cuts herself opening a birthday present at the Cullens’, Edward decides that woah woah woah, this relationship is waaaaay too dangerous, so he tells Bella that this will be the last time she ever sees him. He lies and says that he’s bored with her and that he’s moving on without her (psh). Bella goes catatonic after the love of her life (at all of eighteen years old!) leaves her, and she has weird bouts of screaming in her sleep, gasping, sighing, morosely staring out her french windows as Chris Weitz decides to use awkwardly dizzying 360 camera techniques to illustrate the passage of time.

Doormat Bella never really gets over Edward leaving – though she does come to rely on best friend Jacob (a ridiculously ripped Taylor Lautner). After he helps Bella to feel human again, promising that he’ll never hurt her the way Edward did, OMG he turns into a werewolf (the curse of his clan, charged with protecting the innocent humans of Forks from the vampires that prey upon them). Jacob’s refusal to talk to Bella leads her to relapse into her funk – and she soon discovers that by taking idiotic, suicidal risks, she’s “gifted” with misty apparitions of her beloved Edward (giving her the very helpful advice “BE SAFE,” and other insipid cautionary remarks before dissolving into inky swirls of poorly CGI’d smoke). Bella eventually takes it too far, jumping off a cliff (for the ultimate rush, ya know), and via Alice’s visions, Edward thinks Bella has died, and decides to go off on a half cocked plan to reveal himself to humans in Italy, provoking the Volturi (a big bad association of vampire granddaddies) to kill him too. Only, Bella didn’t die when she jumped off the cliff, so she and Alice rush to Italy to stop Edward before it is TOO LATE.

Where do I begin with the problems New Moon had? Should I start with the hollow performances, even from the lovely Kristen Stewart (who is a fine actress, but feels sadly drab in this film)? The laugh-inducing choices for certain special effects (did you know that when Misty!Edward appears, his sweet Volvo does too)? The sloppy transitions and hilarious slomo scenes of characters running through the forest (yes, this really happens. Multiple times.)? There’s not a lot that’s very good with this film.

So far as writing goes, the script for New Moon is intensely loyal to the book, and in all fairness does a good job, weaving Bella’s depression with her growing friendship/romance with Jacob, ending in a dramatic encounter at Volturi headquarters. Though, one can’t help but think that one of the film’s greatest weaknesses – especially so far as the Edward fandom is concerned – is how absent Edward is from the film. A welcome surprise, however, is Taylor Lautner’s undeniably brawny Jacob Black, lending a warmth and humanity, an endearing, dogged (hardy har!) love interest for a decidedly wooden Bella.

The interactions between Jacob and Bella are alternately funny and touching, and comprise the best of the films few high notes – a scene where Jacob, Bella and Mike watch a movie on an awkward triple date, a ride home in Bella’s truck with Jacob driving, an almost kiss in the Swan kitchen. Too, the members of the Quileute tribe (or rather, pride) are decently entertaining in their shirtless uniform.

In contrast to the warmth of the werewolves of the Pacific Northwest, the vampires feel trite and, frankly, lame. Something happens with redhead vampire Victoria (who has it out for Bella because…Edward killed her mate and so she must kill Edward’s mate to MAKE HIM PAY!) and dreadhead Laurent because he’s helping Victoria…but that fizzles out into so much boring background noise. Though, I will say Rachelle Lefevre’s red hair looks pretty as it whips around in the forest. Robert Pattinson’s mopey Edward with his stupid hair and scrawny, (sporadically hairy) pale torso emerges late in the movie, giving the impression that he’s hollowly disinterested in the role.

The Volturi (for all five minutes they are in the film – all of which have basically been revealed already in the previews), with their blood red contacts and ornate hair and styling, feel ridiculously silly. In the age old vampires versus werewolves showdown, reimagined in New Moon, werewolves clearly win.

Perhaps the most annoying thing about New Moon and the Twilight Saga in general is how insipid a message it projects – especially to teenage girls. It is not cool for you to go catatonic, severing all ties to your friends and family when a boy decides to break up with you. It is not cool to try to kill yourself repeatedly just so you can experience hallucinations of said boy, warning you to “be safe.” I understand that first love is intense, scary, and passionate. And experiencing those highs and lows are all part of growing up. But it is kind of ridiculous that the prevalent female role model right now is a doormat – a bland, no-personality girl whose idea of a good time is to jump into life-threatening situations in order to feel closer to the boyfriend that left her behind.

Leaving New Moon, I felt as though a literal lunar month had passed since the start of the film. If you’re a Twilight fan, you’re probably going to watch this anyway, regardless of what some reviewer has to say. If you’re on the fence, I’d recommend waiting for this one on rental.

Rating: 4 – Pretty Bad (Although I’m pretty damn sure the box office sales and Twilight fandom will disagree with this assessment)

We are Harry Potter fangirls. The sort of fans that stand in line at midnight for the last book (that would be Thea) or who stand by the window from 6am to wait for the delivery from the postman (that would be Ana). We love, LOVE the books and we think the movies are not bad either.

It comes as no surprise that would be watching the movie this weekend. And what better way to start our YA Appreciation Month than to have a review/ discussion about the movie?

So here it goes. Our thoughts on Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince.

Beware, Spoilers abound!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Ana’s Take:

So…the main question here is: did I like it? Yes and no.

For the first ¾ of the movie, I thought it was pretty good. I can even say that the word “brilliant” may have crossed my mind once or twice. I mean, all was as it should be: dark and emotional.

The Half Blood Prince is a book of emotions – of the deeply established friendship between Harry, Hermione and Ron. It is also romantic: most of the relationships in the novels (Ron and Hermione, Harry and Ginny, Tonks and Remus) reach a point of no return in this book. But this is to me, above all, a book about Severus Snape. Who he is and what he does in the end have serious repercussions in the final book. His arc may well be one of my favourites in the entire series. It is also a book that sets things for the grand finale – in a way, Half Blood Prince is part one of a two part finale. The way it ends, it is heart wrenching. Ominous. There are great things in the book – Draco Malfoy finally gets a bit of a gray area in which to shine. There is also Dobby and Kreature. The grief for the death of Sirius Black. The book…it is amazing, as all Harry Potter books are.

But going back to the movie….yeah, the first 2 hours were pretty good. I liked the directing – although not as much as the previous 3 movies. The photography was pretty awesome though. The movie was atmospheric. The scene where the Death Eaters attack the Weasley’s house was super cool – and to see Lupin and Tonks like that was a gift, albeit a short lived one. (Even though the whole scene is a complete fabrication – it doesn’t happen in the book and it is completely pointless. Plus Tonks calls Lupin sweetheart and I was both all like “awww” and “WHAT?”. Yeah, bipolar is the key word here)

As for the acting: the kids are getting better but let’s face it , they are not getting acting awards any time soon. I am immensely fond of them though, every time I watch one of the movies for the first time, it’s like visiting old friends. I have seen them grow up and OMG how they have grown, especially Rupert (who plays Ron – please pay special attention to his arms, you will see what I mean). Once more, the casting for another adult character is spot on: Jim Broadbent as Professor Slughorn? Was all.kinds.of.awesome. That man can act! Loved it. I also totally love Helena Bonhan- Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange. And the kid that played Young!Voldermort! was appropriately creepy. And dear lord, Draco, I loved Draco here. (is he hot? Or is it just me?). I thought his rendering of a tormented kid was spot on.

So yeah, basically I was enjoying it very much. The romantic scenes, the poignant sequence between Hermione and Harry as she cries, Dumbledore and the pensieve, Slughorn tea party, the Quidditch, Fred and George’s shop , were all very good and amusing…. it was a (very) slowly build- up for the climax.

But then the final part happened.

I am entirely conscious of the fact that all of the movies had to cut things off from the novels and I am usually a-okay with that but what they did to the final half an hour of The Half Blood Prince was heartless butchering.

It starts with the LAME kiss between Ginny and Harry (in the book it is so cool! I remember jumping up and down when I read it) then it’s downhill from there.

The scene at the cave when they final hocrux is good. It’s very good. But oh so short! Then, they go back to Hogwarts and the Death Eaters are attacking and and and. Nothing. There is no battle. No kick-ass defense of the school. There is NO ACTION in this movie. The Death Eaters just waltz into the school with nary a teacher, an auror in sight. And that kick-ass scene with Dumbledore’s Army? Not here.

The scene where Draco is attacking Dumbledore is very different from the book with Harry just standing there listening to it. What happened to the spell that left him paralyzed? Because you see : Harry Potter would never, in a million years stand idly by whilst Dumbledore is attacked! Hence the need to  stop him with a paralising  spell – a spell that cost Dumbledore precious minutes. The spell? Not here. Plus, to have Harry paralised and horrified would have been a wicked way of connecting with the audience as we all watch Dumbledore getting killed. But because there is none of that, his death was sort of…meh. It lacked in the emotional department even though I did get goose bumps, as  I always do, whenever I hear the “Avada Kedavra” Curse.

But the worst crime against the series was the half-assed revelation that Snape is the half-blood prince and because there is absolutely ZERO build-up to it with no investigating of who he was, the revelation is all like, pointless. It infuriates me that they have chosen this path because it takes away the background of one of the major players in this whole story. I would also like to point out that THE BOOK AND THE MOVIE ARE CALLED HALF-BLOOD PRINCE so to just dismiss this storyline is frankly, moronic.

I am pretty worked up about it. The more I think about it, the more I get disappointed, especially because the beginning of the movie was so promising and I loved the first part. Still, I left the theatre suitably depressed: the good guys have lost one of their most important weapons and things are not looking good. It is also so very sad that said weapon is one of the most important and adored characters in the series. I always admired the way Rowling wrote this demise and the way she did it. For daring to go there.

Now, I remain hopeful for the Deathly Hollows, especially because they decided to split the book into two movies. Hopefully this will allow for them not cut any important scenes.

DO YOU HEAR ME, TPTB? OK, as long as it is clear. Ta muchly.

The final question is : should you watch it? Well, if you are here , asking yourself this question, it is because you are a fan of the books or have watched the other movies , possibly both, so the answer is hell yes, course you have to watch it. It is Harry Potter!!!!

Thea’s Take:

Wow, frankly Ana I’m surprised at your reaction! I think some of the disappointment on your (and other fans’) end stems from a very basic divergence. And here I go (please, hardcore Potter fans, don’t crucify me):

I really don’t care that much about Severus Snape.

*silence*

There. It’s out in the universe. Before the hardcore Snape fans (and Ana) come to clobber me, let me clarify. I really do like Snape as a character, but I didn’t get heavy into the whole “is Snape a FRIEND OR FOE!?” debate. I actually was rooting for foe. Sometimes, I prefer it when the bad guys are simply bad guys. That said, I am totally cool with the way Rowling takes his story in Deathly Hallows – truly, I liked it. But the magic, the wonder of Harry Potter for me has always lain with Harry, Hermione and Ron. The magic is in the relationships between the characters – Harry’s struggle for normalcy and acceptance; his friendships; the unassuming familial embrace and shelter the Weasleys provide; the trials and tribulations of three best friends as they grow into strong, brave adults.

In Half-Blood Prince, I felt like the director did a sufficient job with the Snape = Half-Blood Prince reveal. That wasn’t what bothered me, not at all. The last scene between Harry and Snape was amply moving, in my opinion (but I think this is more to do with Alan Rickman’s ability to act his freaking face off, as opposed to any true skill of the screenplay writer or director)!

My main gripe with the film was how understated the entire thing felt. And in this sense, I can FULLY agree with Ana. I know this is director David Yates’s shtick – smaller scale British director, keeping things subtle, downplaying and pulling away from sensationalized scenes. Though I think this worked well in the last film (especially in contrast to Mike Newell’s Hollywood-y take in Goblet of Fire), it was too muted here. Dumbledore’s death and the Death Eaters’s desecration of Hogwarts were moving scenes, but they weren’t nearly enough. The music, the mood, even the cinematography lacked the emotional gravitas that the film required – doing Rowling’s novel (tied with Azkaban for my favorite book in the series) a grave disservice. I mean, it’s the freaking death of Dumbledore! I should have been bawling! Similarly, the zombie cave scene was sadly truncated and underplayed as well – Dumbledore drinking the poison should have been much more emotional. The burning of the Burrows was a powerful scene but frankly unnecessary (seeing as TPTB have cut Mrs. Weasley’s deathly fear for her family and Harry and Hermione from the films entirely! Hmph). Also, I was very disappointed that Ginny’s whole motivation for getting Harry to get rid of the textbook was completely glossed over – HELLO? The girl was possessed by a book. She could have at least mentioned that in passing. Instead, her whole “let’s get rid of the book” thing was seemingly fueled by her crush on Harry.

Besides the muted nature of the direction, my other major gripe with the film concerns the lopsided screenplay. At 2.5 hours long, I expected a more even spread of teenage angst, comedy, action, and tragedy. Unfortunately, the movie dwells far too long on teenage angst. The love stories are hilarious – Ron is freaking awesome – but in comparison to the lack of action in the film and the rushed nature of the last few scenes, it’s awfully disproportionate. I wanted more memories of young Tom Riddle. I wanted more of the Weasleys (what happened to the whole Fleur Delacour marriage to Bill thing?). I wanted the apparating lessons, I wanted the Gaunt storyline, I wanted the house elves, etc. I know that all of this isn’t possible, but if we’re at 3 hours long, I want a more even spread of angst and action. I’m just sayin’.

I liked Yates’s direction for Order of the Phoenix but as underwhelmed here. I simply don’t think that he has the chops to handle the incredible emotional turmoil of the final book. Can we have Cuaron back, pretty pretty please?

(On a random note, was it just me or was Riddle’s orphanage scene filmed on the same set as the Department of Mysteries from Order of the Phoenix? Hmph. Come on dudes.)

Enough of the grumpy-gills talk – how about the stuff I LOVED? Because I left the theater exhilarated and entertained. If you are a Potter fan, or a moviegoer at all, you should see this movie. NOW. Here’s my list:

1. DRACO MALFOY – Rocks my effing socks. Easily the best actor of the kids in the flick, the one thing that translated beautifully from page to screen was how conflicted poor Draco is as a character. BRILLIANT.

2. Quidditch – Since Azkaban, Quidditch has been sadly missing from the Potter films, and it’s a damned shame. Quidditch is back in Half-Blood Prince, and the trial between Ron and douchebag guy is freaking AWESOME. Hilarious. And I always love seeing Ginny kick ass.

3. Sluggy! – I echo Ana’s sentiments: Jim Broadbent as Professor Slughorn is perfection. His pettiness and vulnerability are flawlessly conveyed. The Slug Club, etc…just perfect.

4. Douchebag Guy – from the Quidditch trials had me LAUGHING MY ASS OFF. He’s like James Spader from Pretty In Pink – the superdouche that drives a BMW and wears white keds with a sweater tied around his shoulders and blow dries his hair. His leering at Hermione (OMG at the Slug Club dinner with the ice cream licking!) is priceless.

5. Bellatrix – OOOOO how I loathe her! Helena Bonham Carter has been one of my favorite actresses since A Room With A View, and Harry Potter would not be the same without her. She’s demented and evil and cruel and her “I killed Sirius Black!” singsong makes me want to Crucio her ass. She’s brilliant.

6. Tonks and Lupin – YEAH, I know the “Sweetheart” line was out of left field and completely fabricated – but dammit I LOVE their tortured love story. Guh.

7. Loony Luna – as in the last film, she’s perfect. Completely spacey and absolutely perfect.

Final verdict? This movie was not without its flaws, but still a necessary in-theater watch. I highly enjoyed it.

What about you dear reader? Have you watched the movie? What did you think?

AND, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HEREBY DECLARE :

THE BOOK SMUGGLERS’ YOUNG ADULT APPRECIATION MONTH OFFICIALLY OPEN.

( CHECK BACK LATER TODAY FOR A POST WITH THE FIRST WEEK’S SCHEDULE.)

Title: Terminator Salvation

Movie directed by MCG; screenplay by John D. Brancato and Michael Ferris; starring Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Moon Bloodgood

Review:

I think I speak for much of my generation when I say that the Terminator movies played a major, influential role in our formative years. The films, especially T-2: Judgment Day, are EPIC: from the memorable quotes (“Chill out, dickwad” “Have you seen this boy?” or the more resonating “Hasta la vista, baby” and “I’ll be back”); to the terrifyingly badass T-1000; to Linda Hamilton’s crazy buffness; to Edward Furlong’s sweet sidepart; to the revolutionary silver amorphous blob special effects; to, of course, AH-nold.

Not to mention, the movies were pretty well acted, tightly plotted, impeccably directed, and had a damn good story to boot.

It’s a huge bill to live up to. T-3 couldn’t do it – but did we expect it to? Though it could not be expected to live up to its predecessors, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines was a good summer flick with a generally cohesive story. The Sarah Connor Chronicles – rest in peace, dear canceled show – had a crappy start but gained speed and a devoted following by mid-run, and certainly employed strong characters (especially strong female characters, as the title suggests).

So, when I first caught wind of Terminator: Salvation last summer at a screening of The Dark Knight, and learned it would be starring none other than Christian Bale, I was psyched. The excitement only grew as the blockbuster season started this year, and it was with bated breath that I sat in a dimming theater as the opening credits began to roll.

And…

Terminator: Salvation was shockingly, disturbingly bad.

I couldn’t believe it. I mean, it’s Terminator. In the FUTURE, this time. With Christian F*bomb Bale as John Connor! How could this be messed up?! I wasn’t expecting an Oscar worthy screenplay, but Terminator: Salvation failed on almost every level.

The story is simple, and at face level sounds fantastic: the film opens with an inmate on death row being begged by a chemo-bald Helena Bonham Carter, aka Dr. Serena Kogan of Skynet, to donate his body to science after his execution – which he agrees to. Jump to the future: Judgment Day has happened, and John Connor is widely admired, but only a midlevel officer in the human resistance movement. On a run to infiltrate a Skynet R&D base, everyone but Connor is wiped out (pure luck on Connor’s part). Shortly after Connor’s rescue chopper arrives, a dazed man stumbles out of the crater that used to be the Skynet facility, and soon we see he is none other than Marcus Wright – the executed criminal from the beginning of the movie. Marcus has no idea when or where he is, but he manages to hook up with two Los Angeles survivors – Kyle Reese (Connor’s father to be) and a mute child, named Star. When Kyle and Star are nabbed by a Skynet version of a transformer, Marcus is hell-bent on getting them back, and runs into a snarly, untrusting John Connor in the process. After a lot of action, Connor finally lets his guard down a bit and trusts the strange man-machine Marcus enough to accept his help in saving Kyle.

Sounds good enough, right? Unfortunately, the whole thing was undeniably flat – certain aspects of the story were moronic, the performances caricaturish and over-dramatic, the dialogue cringe-inducing, and the special effects, though good, were oddly soulless.

The worst part? Christian Bale. He was gawdawful in this movie. Every scene was absurdly melodramatic – from John listening to his mother’s tapes in a solitary room, to him growling at scattered listeners over a radio transmission. Granted, John doesn’t have much to be happy about in his wasteland of a world, but every line out of his mouth is injected with so much gravitas, it’s cheesy (in retrospect, perhaps Bale’s onset blowup is understandable – he’s so extreme in the entire film, growling in Batman voce during every scene). What’s worse, this new future John Connor is hardly inspiring – I was left shaking my head, asking myself: this is the guy that’s got all the machines’ panties in a twist? This screamy, silly little man? The human race would be toast indeed if this was our only hope.

Not only was Bale terrible, but so too were almost all the other members of the cast: the military commanders (notably bad was Michael Ironside, a.k.a. that awesome guy who plays Rasczak in Starship Troopers), Bryce Dallas Howard as Connor’s preggo nurse wife (a.k.a. the stunning, redheaded daughter of “Hi, I’m Ron Howard,” and former muse of M. Night Shyamalan), and even Anton Yelchin (a.k.a. that Charlie Bartlett kid) playing Kyle Reese, was, for all his wide-eyed charm, uninspired.

The best actor – make that the best part of the movie in its totality – had to be newcomer Aussie Sam Worthington’s subtle, strong performance as new terminator Marcus Wright. For all that this is supposed to be the continuation of John Connor’s story, Terminator: Salvation is truly about Marcus. Marcus’s story is the one that captivates and entertains; his struggle is infinitely more interesting than Connor’s one-note (and might I say, totally self-serving) motivations. Sure, he ain’t got nothing on the soul-searching of the Threes in Battlestar Galactica (nor is the writing even remotely close to BSG’s depth), but he evokes emotion in a way that audiences can believe and to which they can relate.

Considering the overall badness of all the performances (save Worthington’s Marcus), I have to think the fault lies with director “McG”. Yes, that is his name. McG. (Is it pronounced “Em-Cee-Gee”? Or is it “Mic-Gee”? Like McLovin? This sounds like an Irish rapper, any way you cut it. The mere fact that the director chooses to go by “MCG” says something.) I’m not impressed.

Not to mention, the performances were exacerbated by virtue of the horrendous dialogue. For example:

“We gotta survive! Up here (points at head). And in here (points at heart).” (a teenage John Reese – played by that Charlie Bartlett kid, who also plays Chekoff in the reimagined Star Trek – says dramatically to a group of humans in cattle cars en route to Skynet’s headquarters)

“Devil hands have been busy… ” (One of the many overly-dramatic speeches Christian Bale growls over the airwaves as John Connor)

“WHAT ARE YOU?!” “YOU’RE A MACHINE!” “THIS WAR ENDS TONIGHT!” “WE ATTACK TONIGHT!” “TONIGHT WE FIGHT!” etc (Basically all of John Connor’s lines)

“He saved my life. I saw a man, not a machine!” (Moon Bloodgood – yes, that’s the actress’s name – cries to Bale’s Connor re: why she helped new terminator Marcus)

“I’ll be back,” (Connor again, in an epic FAIL)

“You know what separates us from the machines? They don’t bury their dead…But no one’s gonna bury you.” (Reese, again, to Marcus)

It’s vomit-inducing. Every other line is a really bad one-liner.

And then, top these bad performances and crappy dialogue with a story full of gaping plotholes. For one thing, why wouldn’t the machines simply KILL Kyle Reese as soon as they identified him instead of taking him in to Skynet headquarters, thereby snuffing Connor out of existence without actually having to kill Connor? Why would Connor address everyone via open radio channel, spilling secrets like “tonight we attack Skynet headquarters!” when – hello! – any machine could intercept the message?

Why would a system of machines even need a “headquarters” to begin with? It’s not as though they can’t communicate with each other via electronic signals without ever having to be “face to face” and in a central location. Even allowing for a strategic machine base to exist, why would Skynet headquarters include a spiffy computer system that lowly humans can manipulate and hack into via touch screens and keyboards? Why would headquarters include pristine pretty rooms made of glass and manipulable by human hands? WHY would there be all these random pyrotechnics flaring up around headquarters when they serve absolutely no purpose?

But that’s not all. There are also the flat-out stupid aspects: a helicopter outruns a nuclear bomb (never mind the whole EMP thing; never mind the idiocy of a supremely intelligent race of machines keeping pretty, useless pyrotechnics next to the open terminator nuclear fuel cells).

And the coup de grace (and I’m not even spoiler tagging this because it is that stupid): John Connor gets pierced through the chest by a steel rod, and his “heart can’t take it”. So, in the middle of a desert, Terminator Marcus decides to give up his heart for transplantation into Connor.

I repeat: OPEN HEART TRANSPLANT SURGERY. In the middle of the desert.

There are no words to describe this pinnacle of un-believable idiocy. Even allowing that Marcus is an acceptable donor for Connor, even allowing that this delicate surgical operation can be carried out in the middle of the desert, even allowing that infection wouldn’t set it or that Connor’s body wouldn’t reject the organ…the only character who mattered in this mess of a movie? He’s the one that gives up his life for Connor. And for what? The war certainly isn’t over, and John hardly seems the prophet his mommy told him he would be one day.

Perhaps that’s the most resonating image, and an accurate comparison of Terminator: Salvation and its place in the Terminator canon: like Marcus, the franchise has ended up gutted and heartless, an empty shell of metal that once was something great.

Rating: 3 Horrible – Avoiding a lower grade only because of Sam Worthington’s performance. And a fun cameo that I totally won’t spoil.

Title: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Movie directed by Gavin Hood; screenplay by David Benioff and Skip Woods; starring Hugh Jackman, Liev Shreiber, Danny Huston, Lynn Collins, Ryan Reynolds, Taylor Kitsch, Will I Am, Dominic Mognahan and Kevin Durand.

The first official blockbuster of the summer, X-Men Origins: Wolverine made its international debut on Friday to a bevvy of mixed expectations and reactions. Die-hard fans and the geekdom who have been following the production process of the film have not had so much to be excited about, from reshoots, to the internet leaked workprint, to a story that in no way fits the continuity of the X-verse. But on the other side of less-than-enthused fanboys (and fangirls), there was the pervasive sense of excitement, to once again see Wolverine and other mutants on screen doing their thing, in a bonafide special effects-mancandy-badassness bonanza.

So, it was with mixed feelings I went into the theater on Friday night. I told myself that even if the movie sucked on an overall movie scale, I’d still get some sweet action sequences and fights that would make it worth it (as well as the aforementioned mancandy). Would I let overall negative reviews from uptight movie critics or the lackluster fan reaction deter me? NAY! I walked into the theater with armed with popcorn, diet soda, low expectations and a defiantly hopeful mindset.

And, I can say that Wolverine was everything I expected it to be. In a cringeworthy but basically good way.

SPOILERS FOLLOW. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

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“Who Watches the Watchmen”

WE DO!

The most highly anticipated movie of 2009 (at least for us) is finally out in theaters, and of course we both went on opening night. So…what did we think? Was it everything we hoped for and more? Read on, friends, as we present you with our review of Watchmen.

Out of consideration for folks that have not read the graphic novel or do not wish to be spoiled, we are breaking the review into two parts. We’ll write our own spoiler-free review first, and then after the break we’ll include a spoilery discussion of the movie.

First Impressions

Ana’s Take: I haven’t been this excited for a movie for ages – if I have to pinpoint, I would say at least ever since The Return of the King premiered. I was giddy the entire day, I arrived early at the cinema to get a good place, something I haven’t done since the last Harry Potter. Popcorn and chocolate purchased I sat down and tensely awaited for the screening to begin. I could FEEL the tension in the audience – geek world, how I love thee. I could tell Dear Partner who never read the novel, was completely out of place.

The movie started and right then, I knew it was going to be awesome – the initial sequence with the Comedian and the opening credits were all kinds of awesome. The three hours flew by, I did not even feel it. I was completely enraptured by the movie, amazed at how they were able to capture the best of the novel, to be so loyal to the source material to a point where I say to myself “if all the books to movie adaptations were this faithful I would be a happier moviegoer” . Yes, there were a few points that were different, most notably the ending (ARGH. NO. I HATED IT.) and the character of Ozymandias was completely butchered by an actor who should go back to acting school or quit the profession altogether. But those weaker points are balanced by its strongest points: the atmospheric feel of the story, the almost frame-by-frame transposition from the book to the screen (it was so cool to see the images and recognize them from memory) and the most important: the spot on performance by some of the actors: Rorschach, The Comedian, Dr Manhattan and Nite Owl came to life in a way I did not expect. I loved it. I think the fans of the novel will like it (except maybe the die-hard ones that see it as holier than the Bible) but I also think the non-initiated will enjoy the movie. I know Dear Partner did (although he thought Dr Manhattan was sort of emo). Now all I wish is to watch it again!

Thea’s Take: Like Ana, I too was so very excited for this film, ever since seeing the first preview for it before last summer’s The Dark Knight. I have to admit, along with the rest of the Watchmen fanbase, I found myself incredibly excited but simultaneously terrified – inherently this is a complex work of literature and no matter how faithful an adaptation, there are some things that simply cannot be translated from the page to the screen. That said, the previews looked awesome and I was relieved to have someone who understood and appreciated the depth of the comic as director (Zach Snyder). So, I entered the theater, coffee and popcorn in hand, feeling the same palpable geek tension that Ana mentions (long live the geekdom!).

And…three hours later, I can safely say, that the film does the book justice.

It is incredibly loyal to the source material to the point where it is less a movie for the casual moviegoer and more a labor of love addressed to the fans. The movie’s highest notes were when the script stuck with the nearly frame-by-frame, word-for-word images and dialogue from the book; conversely, the weakest points were with some of the highly stylized sequences, and most notably, the changes to the ending. Because the film is so unwaveringly loyal to the book (for about 95% of the film), it’s hard to judge the movie on its own. The best gauge I have is the dear boyfriend — he refuses to read the book, and went into the theater a Watchmen virgin. While I was drooling over the awesomeness that was Rorschach and the Comedian, he wasn’t quite as into it. Leaving the theater, I overheard two girls talking about how they thought “the whole Mars thing was weird”. Once I got over my initial (ok, I’ll admit somewhat unfair) reaction (which was to punch said girls in the face, Rorschach-style, and snarl “The ‘whole Mars thing’?!?! READ THE F****** BOOK!”), I realized that this is probably a movie that will be loved by those who have read the book, and less by the unknowing moviegoer who saw cool previews and was expecting a reprise of Iron Man. As an homage to arguably the greatest comic ever written, Watchmen rocks. On its own as a film, in a Mars-like vacuum if you will, it’s not quite as good. What I will say for it, at nearly 3 hours long, the movie never feels tiresome, and I’m writing this review at 3 am having just returned home! That’s gotta stand for something.

More Specifics, If You Please!

Here’s the part where spoilers will be involved. If you don’t want to know, LOOK AWAY!

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Title: It

Novel by Stephen King

TV Movie directed by Tommy Lee Wallace; teleplay by Lawrence D. Cohen & Tommy Lee Wallace; Starring Tim Curry, Richard Thomas, John Ritter, Annette O’Toole, Jonathan Brandis, Brandon Crane, and Seth Green.

It is one of my all time favorite novels, and remains to this day one of the scariest books I have ever read. When I get stranded on a desert island, It is one of the five books coming with me. Adjectives like graphic, powerful and emotional come to mind when trying to describe this novel. For me, It is King at his finest hour, writing about what he does best–a small Maine town, wracked with ugliness and hate, the endurance and strength of youth, and the loss of innocence, when faced with unspeakable horror.

“The terror, which would not end for another twenty-eight years–if it ever did end–began, so far as I can know or tell, with a boat made from a sheet of newspaper floating down a gutter swollen with rain.”

Thus opens the novel, with a story of two brothers–Stuttering Bill Denbrough and his younger brother Georgie. On a rainy afternoon in Derry, Maine, Bill makes his brother Georgie a paper boat. With Bill too sick to go outside and sail the the ship on its maiden voyage, Georgie plays by himself, setting it afloat in the rainwater flooding the street gutters. But, as boats afloat in street gutters are want to do, Georgie’s precious new toy falls into a storm drain, and Georgie is crushed…until a clown appears in the sewer, holding the boat. The figure in the drain introduces himself as Pennywise the Dancing Clown, and offers Georgie a balloon, and his boat back. Innocent, curious Georgie accepts, and pays dearly for his brother’s boat with his life.

It follows a group of seven misfits, the members of a self-proclaimed “Losers Club”, as they discover that some thing is very wrong in Derry, terrorizing and killing the town’s children. Bill Denbrough becomes the leader of the group, sharing his strength and determination to stop the murderer of his brother, no longer hidden by his stuttering. Eddie Kaspbrack is best friend to Bill, and by way of his domineering, manipulative mother is an asthmatic hypochondriac. Ben “Haystack” Hanscom, overweight and the new boy in town, joins up with Bill and Eddie after they help him evade local bully Henry Bowers. Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier is the joker of the group, doing impersonations and reeling off wisecracks; he has an impulsive, defiant streak as he mouths off to just about anyone. Beverly Marsh is the darling of the group, a beautiful girl but ostracized by her classmates because her family is poor, and her father works as a school janitor. Stan Uris is a very logical, methodical boy, who is bullied because he is studious, reserved, and Jewish. The last member of the club is Mike Hanlon, singled out by bully Henry Bowers because he is black. When Mike tries to escape their taunts, the seven ‘losers’ come together for the first time, standing down Henry and his gang, throwing rocks and landing blows (one of my favorite scenes of the novel). Mike, cataloguing and photography enthusiast, takes a picture of them that day–and the Losers Club is officially formed.

The seven soon realize that they have more in common than just being outsiders–each of them has had a first-hand encounter with something terrifying, and together they figure out that It is the same being, some kind of shapeshifting monster that feeds on children, assuming the form of their worst fears. It is the same creature that ripped Bill’s brother Georgie’s arm off as Pennywise the Dancing Clown and that devours Patrick Hockstetter as a swarm of leeches…and Bill is determined to fight and kill It.

The book is told in two parallel stories–one that follows the children fighting It back in 1957-1958, and then as adults in 1984-1985. The adult seven find out that they did not end up defeating It back when they were children, and they must return to Derry, to the nightmare reunited, and finish the job they started nearly thirty years before.

It is such a powerful book, not just because of the terrifying and graphic horror sequences with Pennywise (the drain scene, the photographs, the house and the sewers, etc), but because of the characters. Meeting the seven characters, both as adults and as children, learning what they had faced together, seeing them as successful adults, and the numbing horror that they physically could not remember their pasts in Derry–it’s strong stuff. I came to love each of these characters, fearing for them, hoping for them, rooting for them each step of the way. Who says that horror has no soul, no appreciation for intelligent characterizations and and emotions? I dare any one of those critics to read this novel and not be moved by it.

Not to misguide anyone, however, into thinking this is a book without its share of gore and horror–because it is. Pennywise the Dancing Clown, with his silver eyes, multitude of floating balloons and his sanity-stealing deadlights scares the crap out of me. Always has, always will. It isn’t just the monster that scares, though. It awakens only when cataclysmic events, of intense hate or pain or depravity occur–and in 1984, the story begins with the senseless murder of a homosexual man. The people of Derry, from folks like Beverly Marsh’s abusive father to the neighbors that simply look away from the violence and murder before their very eyes, get as good as they give. Racism, homophobia, and self interest drive the small town–as Don Haggarty says at the beginning of the novel, “[Derry's] a lot like a dead strumpet with maggots squirming out of her cooze…It’s a bad place.” Above all else, It is a story about the loss of innocence, and one that I love wholeheartedly.

Years later I would read The Dark Tower series by King and, having amassed quite a few King novels under my belt by this time, be amazed by how many of his different novels were related to the Dark Tower nexus. As Roland would say, all things serve the beam, and It (especially the origins of It and the importance of the Turtle) ties in beautifully.

In 1990, a television movie was produced based on the novel, titled Stephen King’s It. I have to confess, I first saw the movie before reading the novel (I was around 12 years old the first time I saw it, and pretty quickly afterwards I sped off to the library to find the book). Perhaps this makes me slightly partial to the film adaptation–I believe this to be (easily) the best Stephen King small screen adaptation, and one of my favorite television movies, period. Certainly, I think it is the scariest tv movie I have ever seen–as a kid the same age as those in the book and in the film, it held even more meaning for me.

The movie is pretty loyal to the source material, at least, as loyal as it can be given time, budget, and ratings restrictions. The homophobia is cut out, some of the more graphic scenes (Henry cutting Ben’s stomach, for example) are deleted, as are certain portions of the book altogether (the whole Patrick Hocksetter character, the entirety of the scene in the decrepit house, the scene with Beverly after they defeat It for the first time as children). But, where it does stay true is capturing the camaraderie of the seven “losers”, tempering the fear of It with the strength of friendship, balancing horror with the happier aspects of young kids on summer vacation, finding strength and happiness with each other. And, for all that it cuts down on the gore and more graphic nature of some of It’s violence, the film proves that it doesn’t always take buckets of blood to terrify–relying on it’s awesome score and soundtrack, strong acting performances, and more ominous symbolic methods (bloody footprints, a lone balloon that explodes with blood). I’ve always been a proponent of claymation and stopmotion, as well as more hands on make-up and prop methods for special effects (as opposed to a lazy reliance on CGI) so far as horror movies are concerned, and It does this very well, also by relying on atmosphere and acting over costly (and often ineffective) effects. *Although I think the film could use an update, especially for that last battle and the visualization of the deadlights.*

Casting-wise, It strikes solid gold with Tim Curry as Pennywise.

His voice, his maniacal smile, his laugh, his delivery, the way his eyes get all red from the thick layer of makeup…holy crap, Tim Curry scares the shit out of me with his Pennywise! His script also sticks very closely to many of Pennywise’s lines from the book (“They float, Georgie. They all float.”; “You’ll die if you try to fight me. You’ll die if you try…”), and perhaps I have been spoiled by his performance. Certainly I cannot picture Pennywise any differently than Tim Curry in terrifying makeup and costume.

So far as the rest of the cast, I like the child actors they picked, in particular Stuttering Bill, Ben, and Richie (Bill played by Jonathan Brandis–who I used to have a crush on; Richie by a very young Seth Green). I would have chosen a different Beverly, but the young actress who plays her still does a great job. The adult actors for the children, however, are not so great. Annette O’Toole is a fine adult Bev, and the other actors for Mike, Stan, and Eddie I think are well selected. John Ritter as older Ben is fine by me, but not my ideal choice. I think Bill is the biggest miss–not that Richard Thomas (of The Waltons fame) does a bad job, but he’s just not Bill. Still, Tim Curry’s excellence is enough to overshadow any casting shortcomings!

The only other huge notable change from the book to the film is the nature of the battles with It, including the ultimate adult showdown–and if you’ve read the book, you have to admit there really isn’t much you can do to translate that more metaphorical, dream-like confrontation to film. The ritual of Chud is not an easy thing to visualize on screen–especially not in a relatively low budget tv movie. The special effects could use some work, as I mentioned earlier, but for the most part, I am pleased with the way both confrontation scenes are handled.

What else can I say about the book and the film? They are both superb–and I hope that everyone gives It a try.

Verdict:

Movie: 9 Damn Near Perfection, suffering only from some off-kilter casting, dated effects, and PG rating

Stick around as later Ana gives her take on the book–I get to grill her about her opinion! But for now, I leave you with a clip.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Ana and I have been talking, and we wanted to start a new occasional special. In which we share some guilty pleasures. Embarrassing? Perhaps. But hey, they’re guilty pleasures. Nothing wrong with that.

And so I’ll kick it off with our first cheesefest post. “I know it’s cheesy, but…”

I love Amanda Bynes movies.

So, these aren’t exactly high class Cannes Film Festival winners, but I have an enormous soft spot for the teen actress (is she even a teen anymore? Probably not. I digress). My personal favorite? She’s the Man, costarring that hot guy from Step Up, Channing Tatum.

In the same line as 10 Things I Hate About You, She’s the Man is a teenybopper take on Shakespeare, but this time it’s Twelfth Night–which, coincidentally is my favorite of Willy’s comedies. In a nutshell, the story follows Viola, twin of Sebastian. Sebastian is a slacker in school and totally dedicated to his music–so instead of starting class at Illyria when he’s supposed to, he gets Vi to call him in sick while he trollops around London with his band. Viola is a star soccer player, and her school has just cut the girl’s soccer team–and, the boys team head coach is a dick, saying that the girls can’t try out for the guys team. Viola’s boyfriend (played by the guy in Step Up 2, if you can believe that!) is a complete toolbag, laughing at Viola and telling “Honey, you’re just not good enough.” Ahh, girl power movies–in limited doses and with a strong side serving of self-deprecating humor–are just what I want to see sometimes.

So. When Sebastian tells Vi to call him in sick for the first two weeks, Viola instead decides to masquerade as her twin bro, to try out for the Illyria boys team, and then kick ass in the big rival soccer showdown in 2 weeks, proving that she was SO good enough. At the same time, Viola forms a huge crush on her roommate Duke Orsino (Channing)–who also happens to be captain of the soccer team, and who also is in love with Viola’s lab partner, Olivia. In exchange for soccer tips, Viola promises to put in a good word with Olivia for Orsino. Unfortunately, Olivia is totally digging Viola (disguised as Sebastian). Add Sebastian’s girlfriend Monique into the mix, and we’ve got a great comedy. Of course, in the end, everyone ends up with who they deserve, Viola is unmasked as the chick she really is, and manages to show up her ex on the soccer field.

So…what sets Amanda Bynes apart from other teenybopper actresses? In my opinion, it’s the deadly combination of the fact that she is hot, and yet totally willing to make a complete ass of herself. And I’m not talking about half-assing it cheap physical comedy ala Jessica Alba in Good Luck Chuck *shudders* No, Amanda Bynes goes balls to the wall, funny faces, voices, bad costumes, physical humor, you name it (in the same vein, Anna Farris does this beautifully as well–I’m not talking Scary Movie. I dare you to watch Just Friends and tell me that shit isn’t funny). And it totally works. Any time an Amanda Bynes movie is on, I have to watch it. I’ve even hooked my boyfriend on them. Now THAT’S a true test.

So, I’ve spilled! Anyone else have a guilty pleasure film to share??

I am a huge Abba fan and having watched Mamma Mia on stage three times (so far) I was really looking forward to watching the movie. I know a lot of people think Mamma Mia is about Abba but actually it isn’t. It has a complete original plot with the songs of Abba entwined around the scenes and the thing is, Abba songs are so awesome and talk so directly about life that they hardly had to change the lyrics if at all.

It is all about Donna – the character played by the amazingly beautiful and talented Meryl Street. She lives in a Greek Island – the amazing set for the movie, just incredible, I need to BEG my Greek friend to take me there ASAP – with her daughter Sophie. Sophie is 20 years old and is getting ready to get married to her boyfriend Sky. What Sophie most wants right now is to have her father to give her away. The thing is, she doesn’t really know who her father is, and neither does Donna. Sophie was conceived in the 70s, when Donna was a “Dancing Queen” heading the group Donna and the Dynamoes (her two friends Tanya and Rosie – who have gone to the island to attend the wedding).

One of my favorite tunes: SOS

Back then she met this guy Sam (Pierce Brosnan in the movie. Gee, the guy can sing) whom she fell in love with but he was engaged so he had to leave. Heartbroken, she had a fling with other two guys around the same time, Bill and Harry. They never knew she ended up pregnant and things were left like that. Now, Sophie found her mom’s diary from when back when, learns that she has three possible dads and sends letters to all of them inviting them to the wedding, posing as Donna. All three men, trying to re-kindle the friendship they had with that amazing woman, decide to go.

Dancing Queen sequence – I dare you not to want to stand up and dance!

When Donna sees them, she freaks out (leading to the wonderful number with the title song Mamma Mia) because she knows the fact that Sam is back is no good but then it is already too late. She must then deal with all three men back in her life, she thinks Sophie doesn’t know about one of them being her father and all three men come to the sudden conclusion that they have a daughter which leads to some really comic scenes.

I LOVE the musical. I love all the songs, I love that behind all the uplifting façade of a fun musical, it is really a powerful sentimental journey for Donna who sees her baby growing up , leaving her and their home for the first time whilst having to face her love for Sam and the fact that he married someone else. But now he is back so what then?

A touching moment between Sophie and Donna – Slipping Through my Fingers

But how did the movie fare in comparison to the stage show? Well, not as good, I am afraid but then again, I adore the play so much, it would never be a fair comparison to start with. There is the fact that some songs were cut short, some scenes felt really rushed and some numbers were entirely left out (no *gasps* Knowing me, Knowing you! Sacrilege!) but I guess that is expected since the show had nearly three hours and the movie ended up with less than 2. Having said that, all actors were so good, from the youngsters that played Sophie and Sky to Julie Walters and Colin Firth (both very funny) and the stars Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan who was as charming as ever. They can all carry a tune.

The Winner Takes it All, the most gut wrenching song of Abba. The best song on stage ended being good on screen too!

In the end I guess this is not a movie for everybody. If you don’t like musicals, just skip it. People do start singing out of nowhere – Abba songs on top of everything. For me, this is THE feel good movie of the summer. Abba songs do make everything better.

(And in the end when the credits are rolling, they “come back” to the screen just like the encore at the theatre – all of them dressed in those dreaded Abba Suits singing Dancing Queen and Waterloo! Yay)

Title: The Dark Knight

Movie directed by Christopher Nolan; screenplay by Christopher Nolan and Johnathan Nolan; starring Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Morgan Freeman

Somehow, some way, someone upstairs must’ve decided that I deserved an early birthday present, and I got some free passes to see The Dark Knight yesterday evening. As you probably have surmised from the header and the fact that we are having a Batman weekend, my expectations for The Dark Knight were astronomically high.

And The Dark Knight was everything I could ever have wanted. And more. It blew my expectations out of the water.

Examining the summer blockbusters so far, we have Iron Man, Indiana Jones, Wall-E and Hellboy II. While arguably Wall-E deals with deeper issues, all these movies have in common a summer blockbuster-y levity to them. The Dark Knight says ‘eff-you’ to all that nonsense–this is a winter movie masquerading as a summer blockbuster. Take this as a caveat–if you go to watch The Dark Knight this weekend (as you all should do), do not expect the light, super fun flicks we have come to expect. This is a film that lives up to its name and relishes in the darkness of its subject material–and at 2 and 1/2 hours long, the oppression is complete. Rest assured that it is tempered with hope, but know that this is not your light-hearted Tony Stark or delightfully camp Indy flick.

As Wayne Manor has been destroyed in the events of Batman Begins, Bruce and Alfred take up residence in a penthouse. The Batcave has been relocated and revived in an underground lair, beneath a Wayne Enterprises construction site. And Batman is busy at work, dismantling Gotham’s money laundering and mob scene criminal by criminal. With old mob boss Falcone indefinitely incapacitated, new bosses, like Marconi, have taken up the reins. The thing is, the criminals of Gotham are hitting a slump. The masked Batman has become a symbol of hope for the people, and noble minded folk like District Attorney Harvey Dent and Lieutenant Jim Gordon are not afraid to take a stand against crime and the criminals they might have been coerced into shutting up for in an earlier time. So, the bosses face a common problem. And a solution presents itself.

The Joker crashes the party. With his moldy colored hair, his smeared, creased makeup, and scarred face, he tells the bosses that in order to stop the wave of hope mucking up their plans, they have to treat the cause, not the symptoms. That cause would be the Batman. At first, the criminals dismiss this as the machinations of a madman, a freak. But when Harvey Dent, Rachel Dawes and Jim Gordon manage to bring a serious case against ALL of the major criminals in Gotham, they decide to take the Joker up on his offer, and let the proverbial dog out of his cage…and Gotham needs all the help it can get.

Heath Ledger’s Joker blends the comical flair of Jack Nicholson’s portrayal, but manages a terrifying edge that speaks true to its source material–the Joker of The Killing Joke, The Man Who Laughs and The Dark Knight Returns is personified flawlessly here. The late Mr. Ledger is not overhyped in the slightest–his performance is perfection, simply put. He makes this movie, and manages to blow Jack Nicholson’s version outta the water.

The Joker cares nothing for ends or purposes; his only purpose is chaos. As the Joker says to Harvey, he’s like the dog that chases a car in the street: should he ever CATCH the car, he would not know what to do with it–it’s the DOING, the CHASE that matters. And thus, his fixation with the Batman. All his actions in this movie helping the mob bosses, all stem back to his fixation with the man behind the mask, who he sees as a freak…like him. In a particularly morbid line lifted from Jerry Maguire, the Joker tells Batman–”You complete me.”

Perhaps the best thing about this film is the feeling of futility in the face of madness. The Joker is a man that has no agenda other than anarchy–as Bruce Wayne tries to find SOME way to get through to him, Alfred tells him that there are some men that do not need reason for their madness–they just are. As the demented schemes the Joker concoct escalate, the darkness is choking, oppressive. How can you deal with a man that has no remorse, or personal ties? A sociopath this complete and this intelligent is capable of unspeakable acts, and The Dark Knight conveys this with aplomb. What can you DO with a criminal that wants nothing but death in return?

The other very notable entry here is Aaron Eckhart, in his role as Gotham’s knight in shining armor, the honorable Harvey Dent. In all invocations of his character, Mr. Eckhart plays to perfection. He has that trustworthy charm that one sees in good politicians, reminiscent of his role in Thank You for Smoking, in the role of the D.A. As for his fate…well, as they say, that is history. Fans of the comics, particularly of the Frank Miller arc, will not be disappointed.

And what about the Dark Knight himself? Christian Bale’s reprisal as Bruce Wayne is, as expected, brilliant. He is an actor that fills out his roles to the fullest, and his Batman here is no exception. The characterization of Batman here holds true with graphic novels Ana and I have been reading and reviewing this long weekend. He makes some questionable decisions in this film, and sees just how far he will have to go to catch a madman like the Joker. The question is, is he willing to go there? Batman isn’t a ‘hero’, like say Superman. He is masked and dwells in darkness and shadow–he watches and protects Gotham, and will be whatever he is needed to be. The conclusion of the movie only exemplifies this.

As for the other main roles: Maggie Gyllenhaal does a fine job transitioning to the role of Rachel after Katie Holmes, Michael Caine is a cynical but funny Alfred, and Gary Oldman does an impeccable Jim Gordon. Gordon’s role here is larger and more significant than in the first film, to which I say, Thank Goodness.

The plot is multilayered and incredibly complex. At 2.5 hrs, this is not the fastest, easiest movie to watch, but it is so very worth it. And, lest you think that it is all death and corruption–at the end of the day, the message is one of hope, despite bleakness. In the words of Harvey Dent, “the night is darkest before the dawn.” And the dawn is coming.

Indeed, The Dark Knight delivers on every level. This is my favorite movie of the summer, and of the year so far.

Additional Thoughts: The previews for this huge blockbuster ain’t too shabby either. Case in point, the first ever Watchmen trailer! Fittingly set to Billy Corgan’s (The Smashing Pumpkins) song from Batman and Robin (the only good thing to come out of the movie), ‘The Beginning is the End is the Beginning’, Watchmen is another one of those movies I am peeing my pants over. It looks awesome. You can check it out HERE

Rating: 10 Perfection – My favorite movie of the year thus far. Worth watching by everyone, and I highy recommend it.