Title: Zombies vs. Unicorns

Authors: Team Unicorn edited by Holly Black – Kathleen Duey, Meg Cabot, Garth Nix, Margo Lanagan, Naomi Novik & Diana Peterfreund; Team Zombie edited by Justine Larbalestier – Libba Bray, Alaya Dawn Johnson, Cassandra Clare, Maureen Johnson, Carrie Ryan & Scott Westerfeld

Genre: Speculative Fiction, Young Adult

Publisher: Margaret K. McElderry (Simon & Schuster)
Publication Date: September 2010
Hardcover: 432 pages

It’s a question as old as time itself: which is better, the zombie or the unicorn? In this anthology, edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier (unicorn and zombie, respectively), strong arguments are made for both sides in the form of short stories. Half of the stories portray the strengths–for good and evil–of unicorns and half show the good (and really, really bad-ass) side of zombies. Contributors include many bestselling teen authors, including Cassandra Clare, Libba Bray, Maureen Johnson, Meg Cabot, Scott Westerfeld, and Margo Lanagan. This anthology will have everyone asking: Team Zombie or Team Unicorn?

Stand alone or series: Stand alone collection of short stories (although some stories fit in established universes for other series’ – i.e. Carrie Ryan, Diana Peterfreund)

How did I get this book: ARC at BookExpo America 2010

Why did I read this book: Did you SEE that author list? Although I’m not really a huge anthology fan or unicorn lover (Diana Peterfreund’s killer unicorns the exception), I am always down for a zombie collection. Not to mention, we got to meet the lovely Justine Larbalestier and Holly Black (as well as Scott Westerfeld and Diana Peterfreund) at BEA this year as they were signing galleys for Zombies vs. Unicorns. Put all that together, and there was no way I was going to miss out on reading this promising anthology.

Review:

An anthology is a tricky thing to put together – there are almost always a few gems, sparkling ever-so-brightly (not unlike a unicorn’s pretty, pretty sheen) and there are some stinkers (not unlike a zombie’s dessicated stench). The general trend of Zombies vs. Unicorns, I am happy to report, is toward the positive. While there were a couple of stories I could have done without, overall, I was entertained by and pleased with the quality of the stories in this collection. Mostly.

Here’s my take on each of the stories.

“The Highest Justice” by Garth Nix (Unicorn)

A strong start to the anthology, Garth Nix writes probably the best self-contained short story in the whole book. Featuring both a zombie AND a unicorn in the same story – on the same “side” too (I think this counts as breaking the rules) – “The Highest Justice” is a fantasy tale about a grieving young princess, her unfortunate (zombified) mother, poisoned at the hands of her treacherous father and his twisted lover. And there’s justice too. This one is a bit old school (Garth Nix is one of my favorite authors from childhood, and reading this new story reminded me of how much I love his style of fantasy and writing), and I mean that in the best way. A phenomenal start to the book – well done, editors, for beginning with this one.

Rating: 8 – Excellent

“Love Will Tear Us Apart” by Ayala Dawn Johnson (Zombie)

This short story, one of a surprising – refreshing! – many that feature a same-sex romance, is a frustrating mix of AWESOME and not-so-awesome for me. I loved the sardonic, mac-and-cheese loving voice of teen infected protagonist Grayson. The food comparisons alone are wonderful, and I loved the very real, astonishingly deep relationship portrayed between him and the delectable Jack. Lust, hate, revulsion, love all rolled into one complicated package of emotion, fueled by violence (and set to a killer soundtrack), the overall characterizations and direction of the story is brilliant. The ending line is EPIC. But, there were some stylistic choices that irritated the crap (brains?) out of me. The story is divided into different mini-chapters, alternating the realtime storyline with Grayson’s little asides about his past – and, for the most part, the little asides (in my opinion) were largely unnecessary, dragging down the irresistible momentum of the actual story. Plus, the cheese factor in the asides was high – the “Dirty Harry” chapter in particular, with cringe-worthy rules such as, “Use your brains! Or someone else will eat them for you” didn’t do anything for me, not really flowing well with the heavier, more dramatic tone of the story. But again, just my opinion. Overall, another winner.

Rating: 7 – Very Good

“Purity Test” by Naomi Novik (Unicorn)

I have had Naomi Novik on my shelf for a while now, but have yet to read her Temeraire books. As such, “Purity Test” was my first introduction to the author, and I was thrilled to finally try some of her work… but, unfortunately, this was one of the few duds (for me). Working the humor angle with a trapper-keeper unicorn on the hunt for a certain young woman, “Purity Test” as its title suggests plays on the bond between virginity and unicorns. Unfortunately, the dialogue felt kitschy, the jokes pretty bad, and the story (though well-executed), ultimately forgettable.

Rating: 5 – Meh

“Bougainvillea” by Carrie Ryan

My favorite story of the anthology. I adored The Forest of Hands and Teeth and thoroughly enjoyed The Dead-Tossed Waves, so I was thrilled to discover that “Bougainvillea” fits in the same universe, albeit at a much earlier time. Alternating between past and present (or “Then” and “Now”), “Bougainvillea” follows Iza, a young woman on the island of Curacao shortly after The Return. Daughter of a ruthless – but effective – leader, Iza struggles with her own sense of worth, her relationship with her father, the growing threat of pirates offshore, and the ever present Mudo surrounding them all. Iza’s is a beautifully crafted, bittersweet character arc (this is right in Ms. Ryan’s wheelhouse) and I loved it from beginning to end. Especially the end. “Bougainvillea” provides valuable insight to The Return and Mary and Gabry’s world in TFOHAT and TDTW, also provoking some interesting questions, too.

I would LOVE to see Iza’s journey continue in another story or book…whaddya say, Ms. Ryan? Pretty please?

Rating: 10 – Perfection

“A Thousand Flowers” by Margo Lanagan (Unicorn)

If “Purity Test” was kitschy and plays with the technicalities of virginity and its connection to unicorns, “A Thousand Flowers” takes that virginity connection and perverts and twists it beyond recognition. Ms. Lanagan is not one to shy away from gritty, less-palatable elements and she explores the darker, more complicated side of sexuality (this is the author of Tender Morsels we’re talking about, after all). Ms. Lanagan’s work might not be for everyone, certainly not for the faint of heart, but this is an author with a gift for storytelling as she interweaves magic and wonder together with the uglier side of human nature. Is “A Thousand Flowers” a little sensationalist and exploitative? Yes. But it also is an effective, brutal explication of female sexuality and “virtue.” I’m not really sure if I particularly liked this story, but it’s certainly thought-provoking and memorable, to say the least.

Rating: 7 – Very Good

“The Children of the Revolution” by Maureen Johnson (Zombie)

This story was my first exposure to Maureen Johnson’s writing – I’ve been dying to read something by her ever since her awesome keynote speech at Book Blogger Con earlier this year. Funny, charming, incredibly witty – these are the words I would use to describe the lovely Ms. Johnson. And, just as I hoped, “The Children of the Revolution” was similarly enchanting (well, you know, in a more slimy, guts and brains and raw sinew kind of zombie way). Following a college freshman duped into following her stoner boyfriend out to the UK for a study abroad program only to learn that said program is essentially slave labor and said boyfriend is a grade-A jackass, “The Children of the Revolution” also pokes fun at Hollywood celebrities and their penchant for truly insane religions. Little adorable toddler zombies. Sponge Bob. How could I not love this story? Ms. Johnson’s voice is wry, flippant, and totally winsome. I’ll be back to sample her other work, very soon.

Rating: 7 – Very Good

“The Care and Feeding of Your Baby Killer Unicorn” by Diana Peterfreund (Unicorn)

This story, along with Ms. Ryan’s and Mr. Westerfeld’s, were my most highly anticipated stories of this collection, and I am happy to report that Diana Peterfreund once again delivers. “The Care and Feeding of Your Baby Killer Unicorn” might sound like a playful, lighthearted title, this is a surprisingly moving story about a girl struggling with her terrifying new-found abilities, her family expectations, her relationships, and, of course, a baby killer unicorn. One of the longer stories in the bunch, “Baby Killer Unicorn” actually feels like more of a novella than a short story. I love that protagonist Wen is markedly different from the other female leads in this collection, and in fact from Ms. Peterfreund to date – she’s not as rough as Astrid (of Rampant) or as assured as Amy (of the Secret Society Girl books). Wen is quieter, religious (which stands out in a sea of usually agnostic/atheistic or religion-free genre stories), and confused – but when she does stand up for herself, it’s an awesome, empowering feeling.

While I loved the story overall, what didn’t quite work for me, however, was the question of time frame. First, the integration of unicorns into modern society sits strangely. In Rampant, the existence of unicorns isn’t really something people take as fact – but in this short story, a jump has been made where unicorns are commonly known of (they are on the news, for example) and universally feared. Also in terms of time frame, Flower/Flayer (titled killer baby unicorn)’s growth and Wen’s caring for him felt rushed and abrupt.

That said, this is one of the strongest unicorn pieces in the book, and one of the keeper memorable stories in the collection.

Rating: 7 – Very Good

“Innoculata” by Scott Westerfeld” (Zombie)

My second favorite story of the book, “Innoculata” proves to me, yet again, that Scott Westerfeld is the bees knees. Once zombies have taken over the planet and only a handful of humans remain in a basically safe enclosure, equipped with food, water and shelter, what else is there to do? “Innoculata” is a story about a rarely examined side effect of the zombie apocalypse: boredom. I love the idea of completely random inoculation (and the idea of the cowpox/smallpox explanation); I love the characters (a F/F pairing this time!); I love the idea of apocalypse survivors on a weed farm led by a former DEA raider; I love the action-packed awesomeness of it all.

Another gem of a self-contained story.

Rating: 9 – Damn Near Perfection

“Princess Prettypants” by Meg Cabot (Unicorn)

Ahh, Meg Cabot. How I loved this story – my favorite Team Unicorn entry of the whole bunch. “Princess Prettypants” (truly awesome name) pokes fun at the Lisa Frank type of unicorn:

On Liz’s seventeenth birthday, she gets an honest-to-goodness unicorn from her crazy Aunt – one that literally farts rainbows and is named “Princess Prettypants.” Seriously. What begins as the worst birthday ever turns into a sweet revenge tale, with the help of one really, really pretty unicorn. Hilarious, smart and just…cool, written with Meg Cabot’s trademark wit and verve, “Princess Prettypants” is absolutely delightful.

Rating: 8 – Excellent

“Cold Hands” by Cassandra Clare (Zombie)

Cassandra Clare’s take on zombies is slightly different than the usual “no room in Hell”/pathogen/demonic possession sort of deal – in this story, one town is plagued by a curse that brings deceased loved ones back to life as zombies. These aren’t the eat-your-brains types of zombies; rather, they are the forlorn undead that only want to be with their families and lovers. Because the undead will follow those loved ones wherever they go, no one from “Zombietown” (as Lychgate it is known to the rest of the world) is allowed to leave. That doesn’t bother Adele so much, however, because she has her true love, James, who also happens to be the next Duke of Lychgate, by her side. But when James is killed by his Uncle, their love is tested to its limits, as James returns to claim his place, and to be with Adele.

A solid entry, I liked how earnest and romantic this story was as both Adele and James are tragic characters. Although the time period felt a little oddly anachronistic (Dukes? Really?) and the overall story leaned towards the melodramatic, I finished the story feeling basically satisfied and entertained.

Rating: 6 – Good

“The Third Virgin” by Kathleen Duey (Unicorn)

I’m not going to lie, this story was a near DNFer (“Did Not Finish”). Maybe it’s because the story is so exposition-heavy, and almost entirely internalized for the majority of the tale, from the perspective of a unicorn. Most likely it’s because “The Third Virgin” is yet another unicorn story dealing with the unicorn-virginity connection – which is unfair to Ms. Duey and her story, because had this been placed earlier in the anthology, I probably would not have had such a hard time getting through it. I’ll schedule it for a reread later, but I simply could not get hooked with the slow moving plot, and the lackluster voice of the narrating character. At this point, I think I was a little unicorn’d out.

Rating: 5 – Meh

“Prom Night” by Libba Bray (Zombie)

Well, talk about going out with a bang. “Prom Night” is one of the more haunting stories in the collection, by virtue of that ending. I loved the moral quandary this particular story posed – which is something that none of the other entries attempted. Even though the world has turned into kill or be killed, eat or be eaten, what is the moral thing to do? Did the teens of “Prom Night” do a terrible thing by sending their infected parents beyond their walls? At what point does the veneer of civilization begin to wear thin?

Libba Bray’s closing is a fitting end for a pretty one-sided showdown. Sorry Team Unicorn – from where I’m sitting, Team Zombie is the clear victor.

Rating: 7 – Very Good

On the Introductions…

The book and each story are prefaced by quick exchanges between editors Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier – and while I enjoyed this quippy rapport, and the general idea of a zombie-unicorn throwdown, my only quibble is that after a while, these introductions felt a bit repetitive and the teeniest bit self-serving and silly. I’m absolutely certain that it was a blast to write and work on this collection together – but as a reader, the introductions seemed to be more fun for the authors than perhaps they will be to their audience.

That said, overall, Zombies vs. Unicorns is a solid anthology, and well worth checking out. I definitely recommend it – especially for the zombie or unicorn lover.

Overall Rating: 7 – Very Good

Reading Next: Dark Life by Kat Falls

Giveaway Details:

And would you look at that? We’ve got TWO copies of Zombies vs. Unicorns up for grabs. The contest is open to addresses in the US and Canada and will run until Saturday August 21 at 11:59pm (PST). ONLY ONE ENTRY PER PERSON – multiple entries from the same IP address will be disqualified. Entry is simple – just let us know which team floats your boat – zombies? Or Unicorns?

Good luck! We will announce the winner on Sunday in our weekly Smuggler Stash.

Welcome to Smugglivus – Day 24!

Throughout this month, we will have daily guests – authors and bloggers alike – looking back at their favorite reads of 2009, and looking forward to events and upcoming books in 2010.

Today’s Guest: The lovely Sarah Kuhn, one of the good, hardworking folks behind the geektastic blog Alert Nerd. Sarah also happens to be an author – her debut novel One Con Glory was released this year (and both of us Smugglers LOVED it).

Please give a warm welcome to Sarah!

So I’m looking back on my year of reading (reflecting, if you will – just imagine me gazing pensively out the window at some generic body of water while CW-approved power ballads tinkle away in the background). It’s been a pretty fantastic twelve months: I’ve greeted many newly-published works with open arms, but I’ve also discovered a lot of swoon-worthy stuff from previous years.

In other words…I have tons of unhealthy new obsessions to take me into 2010! Yay! Ring the gong and prepare the fannish-bordering-on-inappropriate message board postings!

I’ve decided that the only proper way to really look back on this year is to give out awards. Or maybe I should say “awards” since the recipients don’t actually get anything except a mention here and my undying devotion.

Ready?

Best New-to-Me Book: Wicked Lovely, Melissa Marr

I devoured Melissa Marr’s first tome of urban fairy courts on a road trip – reclined back in the passenger seat, fingertips gripping the book so hard, I thought I was going to bend it in half. My addiction was instant and undeniable; as soon as we docked at our first destination, I tore out of the car and to the nearest book store so I could buy the next one. I love that this series is so lushly, unabashedly romantic, but also gives us teen girl characters who demonstrate their considerable strength in complex, perfectly believable ways. No idealized damsels here, folks.

Best Actually New Book: Going Bovine, Libba Bray

Look, I basically love everything Libba Bray does, whether she’s penning her kick-ass Gemma Doyle trilogy or donning a cow suit for promotional purposes. So it was kind of a given that I’d love this, but goddamn…“love” might not be strong enough a word? Bray’s heady mix of mad cow-afflicted teen, sugar-addict angel, and hypochondriac dwarf is hilarious and acerbic and deeply, deeply witty…but it will also totally break your heart. Like, it will sneak up on you in the middle of the page and rip your poor heart out of your chest and stomp all over it until you’re bawling your head off. I mean all this as the highest of compliments

Best New-to-Me Heroine: Mercedes “Mercy” Thompson from Moon Called, Patricia Briggs

I have Thea to thank for this one. When you read as much urban fantasy/paranormal romance as I do, the heroines occasionally start to blend together. Like, “Oh, this chick, she’s really strong or whatever and she can do some way frakkin’ cool supernatural thing and she rocks a leather jacket and every guy she meets is totally into her, but…hey, she’s just a regular girl. You know.” Mercy – mechanic, shapechanger, actual regular girl – is a thoroughly distinctive breath of fresh air. She’s believably flawed, but she knows who she is and doesn’t angst all over the place about her supernatural lot in life. From page one, her voice is fully-realized and totally easy to relate to.

Best Actually New Heroine: Calliope Reaper-Jones from Death’s Daughter, Amber Benson

Here’s another voice that grabbed me from the very first paragraph. Cally – who actually is Death’s Daughter, thank you very much – instantly engages you with her motormouthed inner monologue. It’s kind of like getting on a speeding train – a hilarious, quippy, delightfully boy-crazy speeding train – without knowing exactly where you’re going. And yet, to misquote Liz Lemon, you really want to go to there. Or I sure did, anyway.

Returning Series That Continues to Kick My Ass: WVMP Radio, Jeri Smith-Ready

The first WVMP Radio book, Wicked Game, was probably my favorite read of 2008: undead DJs, awesome ex-con-artist protagonist, startlingly unique take on the vamp mythos (no voluminous black leather dusters involved!). Also, sex that’s actually…um, sexy. I was a little worried that Smith-Ready’s follow-up, Bad to the Bone, couldn’t possibly get under my skin in the same way. Foolish worries! Bad to the Bone is stuffed with twisty underworld intrigue, amazingly realistic relationship issues, and perfectly-placed touches of humor. Oh, and more sexy sex. Third book cannot get here quickly enough.

Coupling I Would Most Like To Write Fanfic About (If I Actually Wrote Fanfic): Mercy Smith/Riley Kincaid, Branded by Fire, Nalini Singh

Nalini Singh’s Psy-Changeling series is another Awesome Thing I found out about thanks to Thea and Ana. And while I enjoy that each book focuses on a new pairing (and we get little updates on previous pairings, since it’s all set in the same world)…I really would not object at all if every book from now on was about Mercy and Riley. Over the course of Branded by Fire, these two strong, excessively stubborn personalities are pushed together, hate each other, have great sex, and eventually fall in love. The sex happens first, but the way Singh develops their relationship from a deeply emotional standpoint is what really got me.

Love Interest I Most Want To [REDACTED]: David the Djinn, Weather Warden series, Rachel Caine

Ah, David. What can you say about David, really? My brain transforms itself into a mush-like substance just thinking about it…him. Whatever. Daaaaaaviiiiiiiid.

Most Heart-Attack-Inducing Cliffhanger: Catching Fire, Suzanne Collins

OH MY GOD. SERIOUSLY.

Most Anticipated Reads:

(2009) Beautiful Creatures, Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl

This gorgeously-designed doorstopper of a book is tempting me so hard from its perch on my overloaded bookshelf. The only reason I haven’t cracked it yet is I’m in the middle of like five other books I should finish first. Right? Right?! Anyway, this Southern Gothic tale of magic sounds beautiful and atmospheric and supernaturally romantic and lots of people I respect have said it’s the best thing ever. In other words: crack for Sarah.

(2010) Guardian of the Dead, Karen Healey

I have long admired Karen Healey’s writing – she’s one of the smartest, funniest, most insightful (I almost typed “insightfulest,” which shows you why, perhaps, I am always blown away by people with such obviously big brains) comic book bloggers around. She often makes me think of elements within four-color fandom that never would’ve occurred to me, or looks at said elements in a way that has me shrieking “right onnnnnnnnnnnnn” at my computer screen. Healey’s debut novel is full of (to quote her website) “M?ori mythology, magic, theatre, earthquakes, monsters, boarding school, tae kwon do, and the other horrors of a Christchurch winter.” Don’t you wish you could read this right now? Where is my freakin’ time machine?

Thanks Sarah!

Next on Smugglivus: Jeff of Alert Nerd

Title: Going Bovine

Author: Libba Bray

Genre: Fantasy, Speculative Fiction, Literature, Young Adult

Publisher: Delacorte Books for Young Readers
Publication Date: September 2009
Hardcover: 496 pages

Stand alone or series: Stand alone novel

How did we get this book: Bought

Why did we read this book: We have heard nothing but rave reviews for Libba Bray’s newest novel. And, as Thea was a fan of A Great and Terrible Beauty (and will seriously, honest to god finish reading and reviewing the Gemma Doyle books soon), and Ana was excited to try Ms. Bray’s writing, we eagerly plunged into Going Bovine.

Summary: (from amazon.com)
Can Cameron find what he’s looking for?

All 16-year-old Cameron wants is to get through high school—and life in general—with a minimum of effort. It’s not a lot to ask. But that’s before he’s given some bad news: he’s sick and he’s going to die. Which totally sucks. Hope arrives in the winged form of Dulcie, a loopy punk angel/possible hallucination with a bad sugar habit. She tells Cam there is a cure—if he’s willing to go in search of it. With the help of a death-obsessed, video-gaming dwarf and a yard gnome, Cam sets off on the mother of all road trips through a twisted America into the heart of what matters most.

REVIEW:

First Impressions:

Thea: As we’ve said above, both Ana and I were *extremely* excited for Going Bovine – it came highly recommended by bloggers, official critics and friends alike. In fact, both Ana and I were SO stoked for Going Bovine that we both began the book with expectations that it would crack our top 10 of 2009 lists! And though this novel didn’t quite make my top reads list, it comes pretty gorram close. I loved Going Bovine – there’s no other way to say it.

Ana: From the get go, I thought the book had Ana-Crack (thanks, Thea) written all over it: unreliable narrator + humour = win. The idea of this book was so promising, I had an allocated slot for it in my top 10 of 2009. Although, just like with Thea, it didn’t quite make it, I still loved it to bits. And I am completely infatuated with Libba Bray’s writing right now.

On the Plot:

Meet Cameron.

He’s an apathetic, modern day impersonation of Holden Caufield. Privileged, intelligent enough, solidly middle class, son of two professor parents and twin brother to a popular cheerleader sister who can do no wrong. Cam really doesn’t care about…well, anything. He goes to classes and does the bare minimum to pass, and smokes a lot of weed. But soon, Cam’s aimless existence takes new direction when he learns that he is sick. Terminally sick. Dying in a couple of weeks sick. Cam has an extremely rare neurological disease – the equivalent of mad cow for humans – which causes heaving spasms, hallucinations, and has him bedridden in the hospital in the very, very faint hope that experimental treatment may cure him.

But then, Cam gets a visit from a strange, beautiful angel with spray painted wings and hot pink hair – Dulcie’s her name. And Dulcie offers Cam the chance of his lifetime: help her and the folks upstairs by finding a dimension hopping physicist named Doctor X and stop the end of the world (which he has unwittingly unleashed via his wormhole-traveling hijinks) – and Dr. X will be able to cure him. Faced with certain death on one hand, and a dim hope for life on the other, Cam agrees and sets off on a cross country mission with a hypochondriac dwarf named Gonzo, encountering cultists, physicists, Norse Gods, and Fire Demons…and finally experiencing life.

Thea: From a plotting standpoint, Going Bovine is a schizophrenic, surrealist comic tragedy – and I mean that in the best possible way. It’s an adventure, a road story across an America that is both familiar and alien, blending everything from bowling, smoothie happiness loonies to theories of relativistic physics. And Disneyworld. And Norse mythology. So, it’s fair to say that Going Bovine covers a whole lot of ground. Some readers might get a little frazzled or bored with the jumping, episodic nature of Cam & Gonzo’s adventures, but for me? Well, I loved it. It’s quirky, weird, and completely winsome. Yes, there were some extraneous encounters on Cam’s long road, and yes, there were some passages that felt as though they were unnecessary and written for the sole purpose of being quirky – but like all road stories, the destination isn’t the important part; the journey is. And Cam (& Gonzo)’s journey was completely worth it.

From a writing standpoint, Going Bovine is an incredibly smart book. I loved how the entire novel is open to interpretation – is Cam simply hallucinating the whole thing in his hospital bed? Or is it something more? For my take, I loved how the whole book was essentially a giant Schroedinger’s Cat – both realities, where Cam is in his hospital bed near death & on the road in an old busted up caddy fighting off an evil snow globe corporation, coexist (just as Schroedinger’s cat is both alive and dead within the box before it is opened). I loved the Don Quixote parallels/inversions too. Very cool stuff, Ms. Bray. Very cool stuff indeed.

Ana: I agree with Thea – if there is one word that captures the feel of this book, “cool” it is. But the very best type of “cool” : the bold, cheeky, smart, quirky, type of cool. The type that combines several ideas – for there is Philosophy, Mythology and Physics , for example, in the book – with a bit of heart and soul (literally and metaphorically) added to it. Plot-wise the novel is surreal and completely trippy and one does need to have an open mind to read this book. I love this passage here – it encapsulates the feel of the book perfectly:

“As a kid, I imagined lots of different scenarios for my life. I would be an astronaut. Maybe a cartoonist. A famous explorer or a rock star. Never once did I see myself standing under the window of a house belonging to some druggie named Carbine, waiting for his yard gnome to steal his stash so I could get a cab back to a cheap motel where my friend, a neurotic, death-obsessed dwarf, was waiting for me so we could get on the road to an undefined place and a mysterious Dr X, who would cure me from mad cow disease and stop a band of dark energy from destroying the universe”.

Thea aptly refers to the Schroedinger’s Cat experiment to describe the book and I think her insight is genius, for the story is exactly like this: both realities may be happening at the same time, it doesn’t have to be one OR the other. But regardless of how cool the idea or the execution are, the book would mean nothing to me, if there wasn’t heart and soul added to this recipe. And those come partly from the lovely writing, partly from the relationships that Cameron starts during his journey. I got a quote that is another perfect embodiment of what exactly I am talking about:

“Cameron, look at me” she whispers.
I Do. I see her. Really see her. And in that moment, I know she sees me.
She smiles, and in her smile is everything I could ever want. Her face looms closer, closing the impossible distance. Her lips are near mine.
And when it comes, her kiss is like something not so much felt as found.”

I get goose-bumps every time I read this sentence. And as much as this book is funny (out-loud funny even) , it is also very sad and I did find myself bawling a couple of times.

I do have to mention something else that really bothered me though (although I am sure, this will not bother 99% of the people that read this book) : Cameron’s favourite musician is a Portuguese guy called the Great Tremolo (quite possibly, worst made-up Portuguese name ever) for his cheesy songs and lyrics. A couple of times, some of his lines are reproduced in the book. Like this one, for example:

“Para Mí He Visto Angeles”

I hate to be the one to break this to you but THIS IS SPANISH AND NOT PORTUGUESE. This was enough to put me off reading the book for a couple of hours. For example this other sentence here:

“Eu considerei a sua cara e sabia a felicidade”.

Which is supposed to mean “ I looked upon your face and knew happiness” but doesn’t really mean anything. The Portuguese line is all wonky and plain wrong – it doesn’t make sense.

Being Brazilian (and Portuguese being my mother tongue) this frustrates me to no end. It is obvious that a lot of effort was put into creating this book: the cover art is amazing, this is a hardcover plus there are beta readers, editors etc who must have read the book, so it sort of infuriates that no one thought of spending half an hour to check that the language is correct and no, online translation softwares or BabelFish are NOT the way to go – as evidenced by the above line – a prime example of a translation gone wrong.

But yeah, a minor quibble for an otherwise great book.

On the Characters:

Thea: This is where things get REALLY interesting. See, Cam is a character that I began the book not liking. Check that, I began the book DESPISING Cam. He’s everything I hate in a character – he’s whiny and apathetic, he’s disinterested and has no reason to be such a…wanker. He’s a modern day Holden Caufield, in other words – and I loathe Holden Caufield. But rather than being some crackshot Catcher in the Rye, male angst rehash, Ms. Bray does the incredible with Going Bovine…she makes me CARE for the characters. This book is the equivalent of what would happen if you took an apathetic asshat like Holden and made him CARE about something – forcing him to live his life. And ultimately, that’s what makes Cam such an endearing character – the fact that he finally, at the end of the day when faced with certain death and hope, he chooses hope. I finished the book loving Cam for all his imperfections, for his bravery and his – if you’ll pardon the pun – ability to seize life by the horns.

The secondary characters are also fantastic – I loved Dulcie, the hot-punk-goth angel with a sense of humor and an appreciation for the small things in life (like microwaveable popcorn). I loved Gonzo, the Eddie Kaspbrak of Going Bovine – a little person with an overbearing mother and a severe case of hypochondria. I loved Balder, the garden gnome that insists he’s the entrapped visage of the Norse God, tricked into gnome form by Loki. I loved them all.

Ana: I too, started the book disliking Cameron and his Holden persona intensely. But at some point in this journey my opinion changed as the story and the character’s arc progressed and I ended up caring for Cameron very much. For all that the book has this extreme cooky story with exaggerated plot points ( like for example their visit to CESSNAB – the Church of Everlasting Satisfaction and Snack ‘N’ Bowl); There were quite a few, quiet moments that were extremely poignant and important like Cameron holding his mother’s hand or talking to his father on the phone.

I did wonder about something: if taking the Holden archetype and adding an external influence to it, by making the character realise he needed to change but only because he was at the brink of death, wasn’t a little problematic and perhaps not really organic. But then it hit me: as much as sometimes we would like to see a story explained, compartmentalised, defined, real life is not really any of these things is it? It is chaos and tragedy and that is even truer when the unthinkable happens – when a 16 year old boy is faced with death when he hasn’t had the chance to yet live – he never even got the change to grow beyond his Holden persona on his own time.

This is the beauty of Going Bovine: that it takes chaos and tragedy and makes them more bearable, meaningful and perhaps even a bit amazing.

As for the other characters, I loved all of them from Gonzo and Balder to Dulcie and even the The Wizard of Reckoning – that was a surprise I did not see coming.

Final Thoughts, Observations & Rating:

Thea: What more is there for me to say? I loved Going Bovine. I wholeheartedly recommend it to EVERYONE – especially to reluctant dude readers, or literary snobs who think male ennui is the magnificent apex of character development. [snorts]

Ana: Going Bovine was a wonderful , cool reading experience to me: it made me laugh uncontrollably many times and it made me sob quietly when the right time came. I loved it.

Notable Quotes/Parts: From the First Chapter:

CHAPTER ONE
In Which I Introduce Myself

The best day of my life happened when I was five and almost died at Disney World.

I’m sixteen now, so you can imagine that’s left me with quite a few days of major suckage.

Like Career Day? Really? Do we need to devote an entire six hours out of the high school year to having “life counselors” tell you all the jobs you could potentially blow at? Is there a reason for dodgeball? Pep rallies? Rad soda commercials featuring Parker Day’s smug, fake-tanned face? I ask you.

But back to the best day of my life, Disney, and my near-death experience.

I know what you’re thinking: WTF? Who dies at Disney World? It’s full of spinning teacups and magical princesses and big-assed chipmunks walking around waving like it’s absolutely normal for jumbo-sized stuffed animals to come to life and pose for photo ops. Like, seriously.

I don’t remember a whole lot about it. Like I said, I was five. I do remember that it was hot. Surreal hot. The kind of hot that makes people shell out their life savings for a bottle of water without even bitching about it. Even the stuffed animals started looking less like smiling, playful woodland creatures and more like furry POWs on a forced march through Toonland. That’s how we ended up on the subterranean It’s a Small World ride and how I nearly bit it at the place where America goes for fun.

I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced the Small World ride. If so, you can skip this next part. Honestly, you won’t hurt my feelings, and I won’t tell the other people reading this what an asshole you are the minute you go into the other room.

Where was I?

Oh, right—so much we share, time aware, small world. After all.

So. Small World ride, brief sum-up: Long-ass wait in incredibly slow-moving line. Then you’re put into this floating barge and set adrift on a river that winds through a smiling underworld of animatronic kids from every country on the planet singing along in their various native tongues to the extremely catchy, upbeat song.

Did I mention it’s about a ten-minute ride?

Of the same song?

In English, Spanish, Swahili, and Japanese?

I’m not going to lie to you; I loved it. Dude, I said to myself, this is the shit. Or something like that in five-year-old speak. I want to live in this new Utopia of singing children of all nations. With luck, the Mexican kids will let me wear their que festivo sombreros. And the smiling Swedes will welcome me into their happy Nordic hoedown. Välkommen, y’all. I will ride the pink fuzzy camel in some vaguely defined Middle Eastern country (but the one with pink fuzzy camels) and shake a leg with the can-can dancers in Gay Paree.

Bonjour.

Bienvenido.

Guten Tag.

Jambo.

I was with the three people who were my world—Mom, Dad, my twin sister, Jenna—and for one crazy moment, we were all laughing and smiling and sharing the same experience, and it was good. Maybe it was too good. Because I started to get scared.

I don’t know exactly how I made the connection, but right around Iceland, apparently, I got the idea that this was the after?life. Sure, I had heatstroke and had eaten enough sugar to induce coma, but really, it makes sense in a weird way. It’s dark. It’s creepy. And suddenly, everybody’s getting along a little too well, singing the same song. Or maybe it had to do with my mom. She used to teach English classics, heavy on the mythology, at the university B.C. (Before Children) and liked to pepper her bedtime stories with occasional bits about Valhalla or Ovid or the River Styx leading to the underworld and other cheery sweet-dreams matter. We’re a fun crew. You should see us on holidays.

Whatever it was, I was convinced that this ride was where you went to die. I would be separated from my family forever and end up in some part of the underworld where smiling kid robots in boater hats sang nonstop in Portuguese. I had to keep that from happening. And then—O Happy Day! Salvation! Right behind the Eskimo igloo (this was before they were the more politically correct but slightly naughty-sounding Inuits), I saw this little door.

“Mommy, where does that door go to?” I asked.

“I don’t know, honey.”

We were headed for certain death on the River Styx. But somehow I knew that if I could just get to that little door, everything would be okay. I could stop the ride and save us all. That was pretty much it for me. My five-year-old freak-out meter totally tripped. I slipped free of the seat and splashed into the fishy-smelling water, away from the doe-eyed, pinafored girl puppet singing, “En värld full av skratt, en värld av tårar” (Swedish, I’m told, for “It’s a world of laughter, a world of tears”).

The thing is, I didn’t know how to swim yet. But apparently, I was pretty good at sinking. You know that warning about how kids can drown in very little water? Quite true if the kid panics and forgets to close his mouth. You can imagine my surprise when the water hit my lungs and I did not immediately start singing, “There’s so much that we share.”

The last thing I remember before I started to lose consciousness was my mom screaming to stop the ride while crushing Jenna to her chest in case she got the urge to jump too. Above me, lights and sound blended into a wavy distortion, everything muted like a carnival heard from a mile away. And then I had the weirdest thought: They’re stopping the ride. I got them to stop the ride.

You can read the full excerpt, and more, HERE.

Rating:

Thea: 9 – Damn Near Perfection

Ana: 8 – Excellent

Reading Next: Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl

For the past few months, we have been including in our weekly stash an “On our Radar” section for books that have caught our eye and attention; books we heard of via other bloggers, directly from publishers, and/or from our regular incursions into the Amazon jungle. This is how the Smugglers’ Radar was born and because there are far too many books that we want than we can possibly buy or review (what else is new?) we thought we could make it into a weekly feature on its own – this way YOU can tell us which books you have on your radar as well!

On Ana’s Radar:

After reading Rosemary and Rue by Seannan McGuire , I realised I wanted to read more UF. I saw this series by Adrian Phoenix and it looks good – anyone has read it?

Karen Mahoney has been raving about Nina Kiriki Hoffman and I can’t wait to give this author a try. I have this one:

Gypsum LaZelle is a misfit in a family of spellcasters-she possesses no magical ability whatsoever. Until the day when she becomes gravely ill, and discovers that her Transition has occurred at last, bestowing upon her a strange and frightening power.

And of course, a couple of YA books:

Monstrumologist by Rick Yancey

These are the secrets I have kept. This is the trust I never betrayed.

But he is dead now and has been for more than forty years, the one who gave me his trust, the one for whom I kept these secrets.

The one who saved me…and the one who cursed me.

So begins the journal of Will Henry, orphaned assistant to Dr. Pellinore War throp, a man with a most unusual specialty: monstrumology, the study of monsters. In his time with the doctor, Will has met many a mysterious late-night visitor, and seen things he never imagined were real. But when a grave robber comes calling in the middle of the night with a gruesome find, he brings with him their most deadly case yet.

Critically acclaimed author Rick Yancey has written a gothic tour de force that explores the darkest heart of man and monster and asks the question: When does a man become the very thing he hunts?

Brightly Woven by Alexandra Bracken

Sydelle Mirabil is living proof that, with a single drop of rain, a life can be changed forever. Tucked away in the farthest reaches of the kingdom, her dusty village has suffered under the weight of a strangely persistent drought. That is, of course, until a wizard wanders into town and brings the rain with him.

In return for this gift, Wayland North is offered any reward he desires—and no one is more surprised than Sydelle when, without any explanation, he chooses her. Taken from her home, Sydelle hardly needs encouragement to find reasons to dislike North. He drinks too much and bathes too little, and if that isn’t enough to drive her to madness, North rarely even uses the magic he takes such pride in possessing. Yet, it’s not long before she realizes there’s something strange about the wizard, who is as fiercely protective of her as he is secretive about a curse that turns his limbs a sinister shade of black and leaves him breathless with agony. Unfortunately, there is never a chance for her to seek answers. Along with the strangely powerful quakes and storms that trace their path across the kingdom, other wizards begin to take an inexplicable interest in her as well, resulting in a series of deadly duels. Against a backdrop of war and uncertainty, Sydelle is faced with the growing awareness that these events aren’t as random as she had believed—that no curse, not even that of Wayland North, is quite as terrible as the one she herself may carry.

On Thea’s Radar:

Ditto to Ana regarding Adrian Phoenix’s books, as well as The Monstrumologist!

From Libba Bray, author of the bestselling Gemma Doyle books (of which I’ve only read and loved A Great and Terrible Beauty – I know! I know, I need to finish the series already) has a new novel out, called Going Bovine. And I’ve bought it, and it’s sitting, staring at me on my TBR pile.

Can Cameron find what he’s looking for?

All 16-year-old Cameron wants is to get through high school—and life in general—with a minimum of effort. It’s not a lot to ask. But that’s before he’s given some bad news: he’s sick and he’s going to die. Which totally sucks. Hope arrives in the winged form of Dulcie, a loopy punk angel/possible hallucination with a bad sugar habit. She tells Cam there is a cure—if he’s willing to go in search of it. With the help of a death-obsessed, video-gaming dwarf and a yard gnome, Cam sets off on the mother of all road trips through a twisted America into the heart of what matters most.

I’m a huge Fables fan, and it’s one of the few comics I shell out for monthly. And, author Bill Willingham has a standalone prose novel in the Fables universe coming out this month…

A new stand-alone FABLES NOVEL from award-winning and wildly acclaimed author, Bill Willingham.

This story stars Peter Piper and his incorrigible brother Max in a tale about jealousy, betrayal and revenge. Set in two distinct time periods, prepare to travel back to medieval times and learn the tragic back-story of the Piper family, a medieval-era family of traveling minstrels. Then, jump into the present to follow a tale of espionage as Peter Piper slowly hunts down his evil brother for a heinous crime, pitting Peter’s talents as a master thief against Max’s dark magical powers.

Based on the long-running and award-winning comic book series FABLES, PETER AND MAX is its own tale. Readers don’t have to be familiar with the comics to fully enjoy and understand this book.

Then there’s a completely new author who I’ve been meaning to try (ever since reading some fabulous reviews for her Dreamdark books), and she has a new book coming out called Lips Touch. LOVE the cover. Sounds a little more frilly and romancy than I’m used to, but I’m willing to give it a shot…

Three tales of supernatural love, each pivoting on a kiss that is no mere kiss, but an action with profound consequences for the kissers’ souls:

Goblin Fruit: In Victorian times, goblin men had only to offer young girls sumptuous fruits to tempt them to sell their souls. But what does it take to tempt today’s savvy girls?

Spicy Little Curses: A demon and the ambassador to Hell tussle over the soul of a beautiful English girl in India. Matters become complicated when she falls in love and decides to test her curse.

Hatchling: Six days before Esme’s fourteenth birthday, her left eye turns from brown to blue. She little suspects what the change heralds, but her small safe life begins to unravel at once. What does the beautiful, fanged man want with her, and how is her fate connected to a mysterious race of demons?

And this next one has my name all over it:

When Thomas wakes up in the lift, the only thing he can remember is his first name. His memory is blank. But he’s not alone. When the lift’s doors open, Thomas finds himself surrounded by kids who welcome him to the Glade—a large, open expanse surrounded by stone walls.

Just like Thomas, the Gladers don’t know why or how they got to the Glade. All they know is that every morning the stone doors to the maze that surrounds them have opened. Every night they’ve closed tight. And every 30 days a new boy has been delivered in the lift.

Thomas was expected. But the next day, a girl is sent up—the first girl to ever arrive in the Glade. And more surprising yet is the message she delivers.

Thomas might be more important than he could ever guess. If only he could unlock the dark secrets buried within his mind.

And finally, I really, really need to buy this immediately:

The long-awaited new novel from Margaret Atwood. The Year of the Flood is a dystopic masterpiece and a testament to her visionary power.

The times and species have been changing at a rapid rate, and the social compact is wearing as thin as environmental stability. Adam One, the kindly leader of the God’s Gardeners—a religion devoted to the melding of science and religion, as well as the preservation of all plant and animal life—has long predicted a natural disaster that will alter Earth as we know it. Now it has occurred, obliterating most human life. Two women have survived: Ren, a young trapeze dancer locked inside the high-end sex club Scales and Tails, and Toby, a God’s Gardener barricaded inside a luxurious spa where many of the treatments are edible.

Have others survived? Ren’s bioartist friend Amanda? Zeb, her eco-fighter stepfather? Her onetime lover, Jimmy? Or the murderous Painballers, survivors of the mutual-elimination Painball prison? Not to mention the shadowy, corrupt policing force of the ruling powers . . .

Meanwhile, gene-spliced life forms are proliferating: the lion/lamb blends, the Mo’hair sheep with human hair, the pigs with human brain tissue. As Adam One and his intrepid hemp-clad band make their way through this strange new world, Ren and Toby will have to decide on their next move. They can’t stay locked away . . .

By turns dark, tender, violent, thoughtful, and uneasily hilarious, The Year of the Flood is Atwood at her most brilliant and inventive.

And that’s it from us today! Let us know what books you’ve got on your radars!