We have come to the end of another Appreciation Week and it is time for a confession. When Thea first came up with the idea of a Zombie Appreciation Week quite a few months ago, I wasn’t very enthused. Unlike her, I was (note the past tense here?) not a fan of zombies and never thought about them for more than two seconds. Then, I couldn’t put if off any longer and it was time to man-up and say “yes, dude let’s do it” and here we are, one week later….and it turns out: I REALLY enjoyed it. I come out at the end of this week with a new-found appreciation for these creatures that I never thought I would find inside of me. I loved every part of my “homework”: I LOVED Mark Henry’s books and his take on Zombies and his hilarious characters; I was highly impressed with The Walking Dead Graphic Novel which turned out to be one of the best comics I have ever read and I absolutely did not expect to fall in love the way I did with Night of the Living Dead by George A Romero (the original, not the remake). In fact, the more I think about this week, the more I surprise myself thinking that, against all odds, almost against myself, this was one of the best weeks since we started the blog! Go figure…….hey, always learning something new right?

So, if you, just like me, never really liked zombies, and always thought they are gross and all about the BRAAAAAAINS and the blood…maybe you could give one of these books or movies I read and watched a go? They are really good and it turns out, not REALLY only about zombies and blood and brains.

And just because I was in a silly mood this morning. Here is my impersonation of a Ghoul a la Romero:

Do I make a fine zombie or what?

Anyways, the week is not quite done yet. You can still enter our contest to win signed copies of Happy Hour of the Damned and Road Trip of the Living Dead by Mark Henry – the perfect opportunity to ease into your own zombie appreciation binge. ; ). The contest is open till Sunday March 1st at Noon PST when we will announce the winners of this contest and of the Suicide Collectors giveaway as well (sorry about the delay folks!).

Later today, our weekly Lost Recap. And yes, I found a way to make it relevant to the Zombie Appreciation Week. What can I say, my mind works in curious ways.

To cap off our Zombie Appreciation Week, we bring you an interview and giveaway with the fabulous Mark Henry, author of the recently reviewed Happy Hour of the Damned and Road Trip of the Living Dead. Although it took us a while to read these bad boys, we absolutely loved Amanda Feral’s bitchy, poopy sense of humor, and her insatiable desire for human flesh. Mark agreed to be interviewed here and also graciously has offered a kickass prize to two lucky winners! Giveaway details follow below.

Boys and ghouls, we give you Mark Henry!

The Book Smugglers: Thanks for saying yes to our interview request and for taking part on our Zombie Appreciation Week, Mark.

Mark: You’re most welcome! I wouldn’t miss a chance to appreciate some zombies!

The Book Smugglers: Seattle’s hottest undead debutante is back in Road Trip of the Living Dead. Can you tell us a bit about what to expect from the oh-so-chic Amanda Feral in this new novel?

Mark: While Amanda’s busy avoiding her dying mother, Gil’s luxury resurrection business hits a major snag and his million dollar nouveau vamp client wants his money back and his head on a platter, so the trio skip town with a pack of werewolves on their tail. But where to go? Why it seems it’s Amanda’s destiny to get some closure with her evil mother in Rapid City, S.D. Along the way they encounter a creepy 50’s family, dirt devils, skinhead zombies, tentacle monsters and a trail of mutilated bodies. Eek!

The Book Smugglers: Your stylish take on zombies (well, at least the non-mistake zombies) is a far cry from the traditional mindless hordes of insatiable undead, a la Romero. Why did you decide to create sentient, fashionable socialite zombies?

Mark: I wanted to do a parody of chick lit and have always loved zombies, so I figured, hey what if Samantha from Sex and the City were a flesh-eating ghoul? How would that work? The idea of sentient zombies is not entirely original, either. There are others in horror and fantasy. So I’m just throwing in a little snarky spice.

The Book Smugglers: Now, for your take on zombies: what is the most tasty part of the human anatomy? (In Amanda’s opinion, naturally)

Mark: Amanda prefers the extremities. A nice meaty thigh (or shank, if you will) goes nicely with raw tendon and whiskey chaser!

The Book Smugglers: Your zombies subsist on human flesh and alcoholic beverages. Why alcohol? Granted it makes for a much more fun afterlife, but does the alcohol have some preserving qualities that work for the zombified undead?

Mark: I think “pickled” is a better word. Like Hitler’s brain in some bad Russ Meyer flick. I like to think the alcohol cleanses them, dries up their insides so they’re not leaking pus or something worse. Plus, it was just really fun coming up with drink recipes to scatter through the book. Green Demon, anyone?

The Book Smugglers: Should Amanda or any other non-mistake zombie become decapitated, would that be curtains for her zombie (un)life? Or would she still be alive and kicking, in Death Becomes Her style?

Mark: That’d just about do it. A zombie character does get shot in the head in happy Hour and he’s quite dead at that point. Though, I wouldn’t disregard the reapers ability to heal for the right amount of money.

The Book Smugglers: Since Amanda’s last two relationships in Happy Hour of the Damned didn’t quite work out, will she be canoodling with anyone else in the near future? How about that Ricardo?

Mark: Everyone loves Ricardo and I wonder if it’s simply because of the mentor thing; that he seems to be in control. Because Amanda’s not about finding a man that can control her. Her psyche won’t allow it. That said, there’s definitely an object of her lust in Road Trip and he’ll be hanging around for at least the next two books.

The Book Smugglers: Is Starbucks the harbinger of the Zombie Apocalypse?

Mark: Not this week. If I were to rewrite it, I’d somehow link the infection to toilet paper. That way even the tea drinkers would be done for! I did for the longest time joke that each Starbucks cash register would have my picture on the side, with the direction “assault this man!”

The Book Smugglers: You say that you “traded a career in the helping profession to scar minds with your fiction” – how did that happen? And why write about Zombies? Does that make you a happier person?

Mark: I was a psychotherapist for 12 years and, believe me, that’s long enough for anyone. Probably too long. It might have been different if I lived in a city that wasn’t primarily blue collar, where people paid privately for counseling. But I didn’t and so I had to deal with insurance and government contracts and I really didn’t know anything about either, and it was frustrating and ultimately the practice failed and, frankly, I’m glad. I was only ever happy to be working with the clients and helping, all the other stuff was sheer torture. Anyways, to answer that question on a happier note, I’m way happier writing about zombies. I love them. Probably in a totally unwholesome way.

The Book Smugglers: Can you tell us a bit more about your road to publication?

Mark: My story is so weird and backward that I always cringe when I’m asked. I didn’t get the idea to write until about three years ago. I tinkered around with short stories, mostly literary stuff, and started a novel about teenage suicide bombers in suburban America (a black comedy). I didn’t really have a direction, so I decided to attend a writer’s conference and on a whim signed up for an editor pitch. I spouted off a quick two-sentence pitch on the book that would become Happy Hour. The editor laughed, we talked about urban fantasy a little and she asked me to submit 50 pages. As I didn’t have anything but a short story involving the characters, I started from scratch that night in the hotel room. Three weeks later I had the beginnings of Amanda’s story. A month after that, I had a request for a full, two months later, I’d turned that editor’s interest into a completed novel, acquired an agent to represent it and sold the thing in a three book deal. It’s crazy and totally never happens like that. Feel free to shun me.

The Book Smugglers: In case of a Zombie Apocalypse do you have a plan for escape and survival?

Mark: Nope. I’ll be eaten immediately. But the jokes on them, I’m mostly fat.

The Book Smugglers: You are part of a group of writers called the League of Reluctant Adults – what exactly does it mean to be a Reluctant Adult?

Mark: I’m sure we’d each respond differently to that question. For me it’s a resistance to adopt political correctness or worry about shielding children from the realities of life. I’m perfectly happy to stay in my adolescence for as long as I can. I’m 40 so I’m doing a good job.

The Book Smugglers: As a writer who would you name as your influences or favorite authors?

Mark: My influences really vary across mediums. John Waters is a huge influence, particularly his take on bad taste in humor. Unfortunately, to get it right, it’s best that the author of the filth not be in on the joke, rather it happen “accidentally.” He’s a genius, in a dirty way that I strive for and rarely achieve. King, of course, whose On Writing is probably the most important book about the process because it’s written by someone who actually made a fortune in the business. Plus, he opens himself up in a really vulnerable way. It’s just awesome. George Romero was huge for me. Both Night of the Living Dead and Dawn are these great satirical pieces that also produce genuine scares. Great zombie stuff inspires me. But so do humorous essay collections. David Sedaris is brilliant. Reading him is probably why Amanda drifts into so many asides. Told you. It varies.

The Book Smugglers: Say there was going to be a zombie apocalypse and you can only save ONE movie, ONE book and ONE TV Show - QUICK, NAME them:

Mark: Heathers, Naked by David Sedaris, and Buffy. Wow. I was certain The Stand was my favorite, I guess I opted for funny considering the end of the world was coming, Hmm.

The Book Smugglers: Thanks again, Mark, for the fabulous interview!

MARK HENRY has been making shit up for as long as he can remember; so it should come as no surprise to anyone close to him that he’s finally putting the poo to paper. Having traded a career in the helping profession to scar minds with his fiction, Mark attributes his skewed vision to premature exposure to horror movies, and/or witnessing adult cocktail parties in the ’70s.

You can find Mark online at his website or with a gaggle of other paranormal fiction authors at The League of Reluctant Adults.

Now for the Giveaway:

Mark has generously offered to giveaway TWO signed sets of his books! Two lucky winners will receive a signed copy of Happy Hour of the Damned and the new release Road Trip of the Living Dead apiece!

In order to win, all you have to do is leave a comment here telling us which part of the human body would be your favorite if you were a zombie, and what type of beverage you’d take with it. For example, Amanda’s meal of choice is a meaty thigh, with a tendon and whiskey chaser. The contest will run until Sunday March 1st at Noon PST. Good luck!

Title: Road Trip of the Living Dead

Author: Mark henry

Genre: Urban Fantasy, Zombies, Comedy

Publisher: Kensington Press
Publication Date: February 2009
Trade Paperback: 288 Pages

Stand Alone or Series: Book 2 in the Amanda Feral series

Why did I read the book: We had been saving Mark Henry’s books for our inevitable Zombie Appreciation Week. It was fate really. And I was charmed (ok, maybe charmed is not really the best word….) by Amanda Feral in Happy Hour of the Damned and wanted to read more of her adventures.

Summary: Celebrity party girl Amanda Feral is back from the dead, and hungrier than ever for a good time. With her zombie gal pal Wendy and vampy gay sidekick Gil, this stone cold fox is dressed to kill, on the prowl, and ready to take a big juicy bite out of Seattle’s supernatural nightlife. But what’s a zombie chick to do when her ‘Mommie Dearest’ gets sick? If you’re Amanda Feral, you can either ignore the wicked old witch – or bury the past by visiting Ethel before she kicks it. Amanda’s not thrilled about the idea of crossing three states just to be criticized. But Wendy, who’s always looking for fresh meat, is up for the adventure. And Gil, who just launched his ‘luxury’ resurrection business, needs to disappear because a pissed-off client is out for his blood. First, they pack their stiletto pumps and plasma into a skeevy rattrap on wheels that used to be a Winnebago. Then, with a little help from a Korean-ghost hood ornament, a masochist named Fishhook, and a slew of ‘moderately accurate’ psychics, they hit the highway – their way. Of course, they’ll have to navigate past some neo-Nazi skinheads, a horny dust devil, a hunky werewolf cop (who could pass for an underwear model) and an unsightly horde of supermarket shoppers. But for this glamorous gang of ghouls this trip is about to take a dangerous detour that could give road kill a brand new meaning.

Review:

I had such a great time reading Happy Hour of the Damned and I was really looking forward to reading Road Trip of the Living Dead. And it was an even better experience than initially estimated – because this time I was fully prepared for zombie Amanda Feral and her friends Wendy and Gil. So, instead of being completely scandalised and conflicted when there were moments when I did not know exactly how to react – I mean, some of the things said and done in these books are so politically incorrect most of the time I am torn between laughing my ass off or hanging my head in shame – I relaxed and just joined Wendy, Gil and Amanda for the ride. Pun intended.

The story opens with the three of them sitting at a cemetery chatting and having drinks. Amanda recently found out that her mother Ethel, is dying of cancer and her first instinct is to just ignore the information and move on. We also learn that Gil has set up a new business and is doing very well for himself: he sells deluxe packages to wannabe vampires complete with raising- from- the- grave experience and everything which is why they are where they are right now. Unfortunately things don’t go down very well and the new vampire, who was already some sort of psycho-human before turning supernatural, is now chasing them.

But this is after all, Amanda Feral’s memories and this is the perfect excuse for them to leave Seattle and go find some sort of closure with her mother – possibly kill her in the process. It is all open for discussion. After all, being an undead zombie with an unapologetic look at life has its perks. Anyways, the road trip turns even more dangerous when people start dying on their heels, they run in into some shady characters (ok, shadier – our guys are bad guys, but they are the good bad guys, as they like to say) , a ghost, a hot werewolf (love interest alert!) and one or two people that will become part of the group in a more permanent matter.

It’s all good. There is clearly a series pattern in which Amanda plays the detective – and the mystery on this one is not that bad – whilst dishing highly barbed comments about life and people around her – think Nancy Drew meets Sex in the City but with a bit of rotten condiment on top. There are sequences that are REALLY gross and crude but somehow and I can’t really pinpoint how he manages that, Mark Henry avoids being distasteful by being simply funny. Outrageously so, yes.

But the best of all is and will always be, Amanda. I love her, almost against my will. I mean, the woman is a bitch:

At that thought, I glanced his way, in what I hoped was an expression of empathy. (I’d seen that look on TV before, but mimicry isn’t my strong suit, so it’s hard to say I nailed it or not)

So yes, total, complete bitch: she is snarky, cruel even. A badass, with an ego of giant proportions but who knows her weakness (when she knows something is more she can take or understands she will acknowledge it) and strengths. And in Road Trip of the Living Dead Mark Henry takes her character into a new direction which at first, I was unsure of. But given second thought, I realise the brilliance of his decision: there are some snippets into her past that show how horrible of a childhood the woman had. At first, I cringed because I expected this to become an excuse for her bitchness. But not so. Her past somewhat humanises Amanda to the reader but she, as the narrator, never uses the information to apologise for who she is. That takes guts and makes the character even more sympathetic.

Road Trip of the Living Dead as its predecessor Happy Hour of the Damned is not for the faint of heart. It requires a certain laissez faire attitude from the reader who in turn will be recompensed with extravagant humour , scandalous behaviour and the certain promise of good times ahead.

Notable Quotes/ Parts: OK, so Thea in her review of Happy Hour of the Damned talked about poopy humor…I will add insult to the injury…..an inset from Amanda

A Confession
One Word to Wendy and I’ll Kill Ya!

Yes. I have some tampons.
I know I get on Wendy for her Twix habit, but I can’t give up coffee. How is it even possible to do that? And really, it’s Wendy’s fault for getting me back into it. She’s the one that told me about using Depends to eat whatever we want.
I just took the idea to its next logical step.
Of course, there is the pain to deal with; undead diarrhea is a bitch. But for a quick caffeine fix, an OB Ultra does the trick quick nicely.
Don’t tell.
I’ll only deny it.

Additional Thoughts: COME BACK TOMORROW FOR AN INTERVIEW WITH MARK HENRY AND A CHANCE TO WIN SIGNED COPIES OF HIS BOOKS!

Verdict: I am a fan of this hilarious series and of Amanda Feral. I will keep coming back for more.

Rating: 8 Excellent

Reading Next: Angel’s Blood by Nalini Singh

Title: Happy Hour of the Damned

Author: Mark Henry

Genre: Urban Fantasy, Zombies, Comedy

Publisher: Kensington Press
Publication Date: March 2008
Trade Paperback: 288 Pages

Stand alone or series: Book 1 in the Amanda Feral series (currently 2 books strong).

Why did I read this book: I’ve actually had this on my TBR since it first came out last year–only I repeatedly put it off because Ana and I wanted to save it for Halloween week, then when we didn’t have enough time during Halloween week, we decided to save it for Zombie week. So, finally, here we are, and just in time for the release of book 2 in the series, Road Trip of the Living Dead.

Summary: (from Amazon.com)
Seattle. One minute you’re drinking a vanilla breve, the next, some creepy old dude is breathing on you, turning you into a zombie. And that’s just for starters. Now, the recently deceased Amanda Feral is trying to make her way through Seattle’s undead scene with style (mortuary-grade makeup, six-inch stilettos, Balenciaga handbag on sale) while satisfying her craving for human flesh (Don’t judge. And no, not like chicken.) and decent vodkatinis.

Making her way through a dangerous world of cloud-doped bloodsuckers, reapers, horny and horned devils, werewolves, celebrities, and PR-obsessed shapeshifters–not to mention an extremely hot bartender named Ricardo–isn’t easy. And the minute one of Amanda’s undead friends disappears after texting the word, “help” (The undead–so dramatic!) she knows the afterlife is about to get really ugly.

Something sinister is at hand. Someone or something is hellbent on turning Seattle’s undead underworld into a place of true terror. And this time, Amanda may meet a fate a lot worse than death…

Review:

Irreverent. Rapacious. Hilarious.

This is how I would describe Mark Henry’s debut novel, Happy Hour of the Damned. Bitchy socialite Amanda Feral has an appetite for sexy men, strong cocktails, and, oh yes, human flesh. After acing her last advertising pitch at work, Amanda finds herself trapped in an elevator with a creepy guy who breathes on her (eww). The next thing she knows, she slips on an empty donut box, cracks her head on the oil-slicked parking lot pavement, and wakes up as a new member of Seattle’s undead. As a newborn zombie, Amanda has some serious issues to deal with: how to prevent her boyfriend from noticing her cold undead-ness; how to get makeup strong enough to cover up her gray dead flesh (and look every bit the hot mama she is); where the next undead hotspot will be; how to satiate her neverending craving for humans. With her new friends Gil (the typically gorgeous and completely gay vampire) and fellow fabulously hot (and equally bitchy) zombie Wendy, Amanda takes Seattle’s underworld scene by storm. When one of the crew’s other regular drinking buddies sends Amanda a text message saying “Help,” and turns up missing, Amanda has her hands full trying to stop a nefarious scheme to bring about the actual zombie apocalypse.

I love the wonderful, crass bitch that is Amanda Feral. The biggest strength of this novel lies in Mark Henry’s hilarious voice, and his almost blasé way of pushing the envelope with his characters. Amanda is probably one of the snarkiest, refreshingly bitchy characters in Urban Fantasy today–think Carrie Bradshaw meets Regina George from Mean Girls. She’s unapologetically rude, thrust into a glamorous new life-after-death and loving it (as a bulimic human, Amanda’s weight problems have been solved in her zombie status). There are some moments when we catch glimpses of Amanda’s softer side:

I remembered daydreaming about becoming the fifth in their elite group, stalking the halls like jungle cats, trailing fear and jealousy. It was never to be, of course. Four years together and never closer than twenty feet. I used to wonder what they did outside of school. What amazing adventures were entitled to the most popular? I thought they could probably do anything they wanted. I fantasized that they each held a license to torture, maim, kill, or at least, mock, shame and denigrate.

Could I be reliving this fantasy? Was that the real reason for gathering this particular group of killers, albeit far more glamorous than Carly and her bitches could dream of? Where did such a desperate longing for companionship come from? Had it been there all along?

This passage along with allusions to Amanda’s relationship with her cold mother also seem to shape why she is such a materialistic ass today. But that’s not really the fun with her character. The beauty of Amanda’s character is that while she does care about her girls, she’s an unrelenting, superior, haughty biatch. Even as a human, she was shallow as hell, faking her resume to get a job at a top ad agency–and yet she’s not completely vapid a la Paris Hilton–she’s worked hard to make her success and her partnership, which is something. The other two main characters, Wendy and Gil, are Amanda’s girls through and through–equally bitchy and elitist, as the best, hottest socialites are. The interactions with these three characters, boozing it up together are hilarious good fun.

Amanda and Wendy, circa 2080

The whole book drips with acid snarkiness, a dark parody of brand-happy chicklit with a healthy dose of (literally) poopy jokes and morbid humor. I can’t count the number of times I sat, book in hand, jaw wide open, completely scandalized. How does a zombie have sex? With a crazy amount of lube. How does a zombie eat anything other than human? By keeping a pair of Depends (that’s adult diapers) handy. Mark Henry’s take on zombie lore is intriguing, more in a sort of “Death Becomes Her” type of vein (once a zombie, always a zombie–if you get a scratch or a broken bone, you cannot fix it without industrial glue and paint). And, like the best zombies, Amanda and Wendy binge together, luring in vagrants, adolescent runaways, skeevy college losers, etc. Another cool twist is that zombies can drink alcohol–which makes for much more fun evenings out.

While the characters and ‘world-building’ (as it were) are wonderfully fresh, as an actual story, Happy Hour of the Damned isn’t quite as entertaining. The plot of the novel jumps from present day to back when Amanda was first made a zombie, then jumps back to the present and plays with two sort of unrelated “main” conflicts–Amanda’s missing friend and a larger conspiracy. Both of these conflicts feel underdeveloped and awkwardly cobbled together (one of these conflicts is completely unnecessary). I honestly found myself wanting to read more about Amanda’s early days as a zombie and how she became accustomed to her new life and friends as opposed to the less engaging mystery storyline. Not that the central conflict was bad, but I felt it could have been developed in a later novel, or perhaps had the book been longer and less sporadic in the conflict narrative, it would have been much more effective.

These plotting issues aside, I loved the tone of this book and found it incredibly entertaining. I’ll be back for seconds. Definitely.

Notable Quotes/Parts: Poopy humor at its absolute finest.

I found Wendy in the bathroom, behind the vibrating stainless steel walls,shaking with the pulsing bass. She was shitting her bowels out, into a rarely used club toilet. I didn’t envy her position, but I imagined it well, hunched over and rocking. You know the drill…

“I’ve got a real impulse control problem. I feel like one of those damned mistakes.” A low belch echoed from Wendy’s rotting bowels, filling the room with a pungent sulfur scent mixed with earthy death, a zombie meat fart.

And zombies on the prowl…

“We’re gonna eat this asshole, right?” Wendy was locked on target, and assholes were totally on the list. In fact, let this be a warning: there are those among you who view exposed vehicular feet as an invitation to dine. Don’t let a need to be lax while driving be your death sentence. Actually, that goes for passenger feet, too.

“Well, you can have the asshole, but, yeah–” I stopped in mid-thought, remembering the dirty feet, then quickly added, “Heads.”

“Fuck you! You got heads last time. Besides I know what you’re thinking and those feet were nasty.”

“Okay, okay, split down the middle then and I’ll get our next one on my own.” She sighed at this and seemed to relax into the seat. Wendy appreciated nothing more than an easy kill, particularly if I was the one doing all the work.

Verdict: Chicklit gets zombified in this awesomely gross, funny novel. Happy Hour of the Damned is a guilty pleasure, and I cannot wait for the sequel.

Rating: 7 Very Good

Title: Zombie Haiku: Good Poetry For Your…Brains

Author: Ryan Mecum

Genre: Poetry (Haiku), Zombies, Horror, Humor

Publisher: How Books
Publication Date: July 2008
Paperback: 160 pages

Stand alone or series: Stand alone collection of haiku in a purported journal.

Summary: (from Amazon.com)
What you are looking at is a document from the early days of the zombie plague. Little is known about the author before his infection–only that he was a poet. This facsimile of his actual journal recounts the events of humanity’s darkest hours through the intimate poetry of haiku. Inside you’ll find increasingly disjointed and terrifying three-line poems (all in the classic 5-7-5 syllable structure), and follow the undead poet on a journey through deserted streets and barricaded doors. Experience every eye-popping, gut-wrenching, flesh-eating moment of the eventual downfall of the human race from the point of view of a zombie, and gain insight to help you survive–if you can.

Review:

Zombie Haiku is without a doubt one of the most original takes on the zombie in the literary sense. Novels, short stories, comics, traditional verse, they’ve all been done before. But the haiku has remained untouched on the zombie menu. Until now, that is.

A notebook, its pages filled with drawings, scribblings and – of course – haiku, tells the tale of a rather poetic man as the zombie apocalypse strikes. The journal proper begins:

This is my poetry journal. In it, I will attempt to capture the beauty I see in the world in the form of a poetic structure called “haiku.” With three simple lines composed of five syllables, then seven syllables, and another line of five syllables, I will attempt to capture the earthly beauty which can be so overwhelming that I sometimes feel like I’m going to burst open. Enjoy.

But the actual story begins in another pen. A man named “Chris L.” relates how he is trapped in an airport bathroom, dying from a bite as a horde of hungry zombies lurk outside. All he has is this journal – wrenched from the severed arm of the zombie who bit him – and a pen. So, with his last few hours of life, the man that introduced us to his story stops writing, and invites us readers to read the haiku journal with him.

The journal itself is completely written in haiku, complete with pictures, blood, and illustrations. As my old English professor would love to say, this is ‘form equals content’ at its best. The journal begins with poetic (if silly) beauty, as the journal owner promises so joyfully in his introduction.

The bird flew away
with more than just my bread crumbs.
He took my sorrow.

Initially, the owner puts me in the mind of Brendan Fraser’s super-sensitive-dolphin-safe-tuna dude from Bedazzled, but with each new haiku the horror gradually unfolds. The poet is bitten and becomes one of the undead, and his haiku entries alternate between bizarre and horrific (and morbidly funny). Suspending disbelief that a zombie would retain the ability to write in verse and yet forget how to operate doorknobs or climb fences, Zombie Haiku is a delightful, crunchy, teeth breaking treat. It’s almost impossible to describe without using examples, so here are a few of my favorites, in progression.

Anyone out there
reading this haiku journal
give this to my mom

Dear Mom I love you.
This ain’t my most poetic,
but I really hurt.

Although my neck hole
used to whistle when I breathed
now I don’t breath.

Brains, BRAINS, Brains, brains, BRAINS.
BRaiNS, brains, Brains, BRAINS, BRains, brains, BRAINS.
BRAINS, BRains, brains, BRAINS, brains.

I lose my front teeth
while trying to pry her hair
out from between them.

She’s always with me,
especially if my gut
can’t digest toenails.

Everything I thought
tasted a lot like chicken
really tastes like man.

Blood is really warm.
It’s like drinking hot chocolate
but with more screaming.

Brains are less squishy
and a tad bit more squeaky
than someone might guess.

His stuck fingernail
is lodged between my molars
and makes my mouth itch

And the Pièce de résistance, from Chris L., trapped in the bathroom:

I don’t want to die.
If you are READING this, please find my wife and tell her I loved her. Tell her I’m SORRY for all the trouble I caused in our MARRIAGE and that SHE was a great wife…

Tell her I LOVED her
and THAT I want To EAT HER
AND SWALLOW HER BRAINS!

Yes, those last lines are written in haiku form! Perhaps that’s what zombies can do? Effortlessly create and write haiku. Brilliant.

Additional Thoughts: After we mentioned Ryan’s book earlier this week, he was awesome enough to email us and give us a list of his favorite haiku from the book, as well as a brand spankin’ new haiku just for Ana and myself!!!!

Thea and Ana
drag dripping handbags and moan.
Undead brain smugglers.

Here are a few of Ryan’s favorites from his book:

My rigor mortis
is mainly why I’m slower,
and the severed foot.

A man starts yelling
“when there’s no more room in Hell…”,
but then we eat him.

I loved my momma.
I eat her with my mouth closed,
how she would want it.

Shotguns don’t scare me,
which explains why I chased him,
and why I’m one-eared.

Love the Dawn of the Dead shoutout.

And, since we are confessed book dorks, check out Ryan’s video, “If Famous Poets Wrote Zombie Haiku”:

More fun is available online at his awesome website. Check it out, if you haven’t already!

Verdict: Hilarious, gruesome, and deliciously horrific. As it turns out, zombies can write haiku–and it’s bloody wonderful. Definitely recommended for any zombie (or haiku) enthusiast!

Rating: 7 Very Good

Reading Next: Happy Hour of the Damned by Mark Henry

Title: The Walking Dead Volume 1 – Days Gone Bye

Author: Written by Robert Kirkman/ Art by Tony Moore

Genre: Comics / Horror / Zombies

Publisher: Image Comics
Publishing Date: May, 2004
Paperback: 144 pages

Stand Alone/ Series : On-going monthly series.

Why did I read the book: It was part of my homework for the Zombie Appreciation Week.

Summary:An epidemic of apocalyptic proportions has swept the globe, causing the dead to rise and feed on the living. In a matter of months, society has crumbled: There is no government, no grocery stores, no mail delivery, no cable TV. Rick Grimes finds himself one of the few survivors in this terrifying future. A couple months ago he was a small town cop who had never fired a shot and only ever saw one dead body. Separated from his family, he must now sort through all the death and confusion to try and find his wife and son. In a world ruled by the dead, we are forced to finally begin living

Review:

The Walking Dead is a black and white monthly comic series that started being published in 2003. The graphic novel I review today, Days Gone Bye is the collection of issues #1 to #6 and the opening act of a zombie apocalypse and what happens to a group of survivors.

The story opens with small town police officer Rick Grimes and his partner Shane in a shoot-out with a bandit. Rick is shot and next thing he knows, he is waking up in a hospital bed a month later. He is all by himself. When he tries to get out of the bed he falls and calls for a nurse. No one comes. He walks around but the halls are empty. He goes to the elevator and there is a corpse there. He runs to the cafeteria and the room is taken with….what? Things that are alive but really…shouldn’t. He runs away and outside everything is eerily deserted. He sees an abandoned bike – or so he thinks. There is a skeleton next to it, except, the skeleton is still somehow moving. Completely horrified, shocked, in tears even, Rick steals the bike and cycle to his home to try and find his wife and son. But his house is empty and pillaged and he has no idea what happened to his family. He is knocked unconscious by a young boy named Duane Jones (how strange that I immediately recognise this name for what it is? A homage to Romero’s movie Night of the Living Dead. Duane Jones is the name of the actor who played Ben in the 1968 movie) who thinks he is a zombie. Duane and his father have been living next door and they explain to Ben that while he was in coma, plague of sort has spread all over bringing the dead back to life and that he has been waiting for the authorities to sort things out. He tells Rick that the government has told people to go towards the big cities and Rick hopes his family has made it to Atlanta.

He breaks into the police station, gets some guns and a car and drives away. Upon arriving in Atlanta , he is welcomed by a sight that crushes his hopes:

The entire city is taken by the walking dead and he is nearly eaten alive. He is saved by a young man called Glenn to takes him to a survivors’ camp. He then joins the group living in the outskirts of the city as they try to survive and this is when the horror truly dawns on Rick. The world IS overrun with zombies. There is no government, no one that will come and rescue them – at least not immediately. They have to make do with what they have. And we see this group going back to the basics – one very effective, blunt sequence has some of the women going to the stream to do the laundry while the men go hunting. One of the women voices that it doesn’t seem fair to her while another says she doesn’t trusts he husband with a washing machine plus she doesn’t know how to shoot. It just seems the natural order of things….there is of course, dissention, but they all seem to group around Rick as a natural leader. And they need to make a choice on whether to stay put, where they are, and wait for rescue or move to a more secure location and risk not being found by the rescue parties if they ever come.

And THIS IS IT. I don’t believe there will be an end to this plague. This is the world they live in now. With life and death balancing with every move they make – even turning around the corner of a caravan could prove deadly. How does one survive that without losing all hope and sense of humanity?

Having just watched a marathon of George A. Romero’s movies, it is easy to observe his influence here. Starting with the obvious fact that the Walking Dead is not really about Zombies (as neither were Romero’s movies) – it is about the human interactions and how they would survive in a post-apocalyptic world. Even the zombies themselves are reminiscent of Romero creatures: of the slow variety and that can only be killed by having their brains destroyed. And their bite can make one into a zombie. I think it is even more devastating and horrific that such slow, brainless creatures can be so deadly.

As for the art itself – I thought the black and white to be much more effective than if it was coloured. It speaks of a bleakness and emptiness that not even the reddest bloodshed would have been able to convey. Whenever there was a screenshot of a horrified Rick close to tears upon seen a truly shocking sight, I felt close to tears myself. Now, this is art that is capable of inspire all sorts of emotional response from the reader: from disgust to despair, from sadness to even a little bit of happiness and hope. Needless to say, I LOVE it.

Notable Quotes/ Parts: The opening pages were awesome. The first scenes with Rick in the empty hospital, his first encounter with the zombies, the silence, the desert streets, the corpse close to the bike , all happening at once to someone just waking up from a coma. I mean, can you imagine?

Hospital cafeteria scene

Rating: 10 – Perfection. I was conflicted about how to rate this as I am told the volumes only get better. But I honestly felt completely wowed by this one and if the subsequent volumes are better….then ultra-wow.

Reading Next: Road Trip of the Living Dead by Mark Henry

Title: Generation Dead

Author: Daniel Waters

Genre: Speculative Fiction, Young Adult, Zombies

Publisher: Hyperion Books (DBG)
Publication Date: May 2008
Hardcover: 400 pages

Stand alone or series: Book 1 in the Generation Dead series. Book 2, Kiss of Life, releases in May.

Why did I read this book: In up-and-coming author Karen Mahoney’s awesome Smugglivus Post she mentions Generation Dead as one of her favorite reads of 2008. Zombies and high school equals win–so when I saw this book at my local store, I snatched it up immediately.

Summary: (from Amazon.com)
Phoebe is just your typical goth girl with a crush. He’s strong and silent. and dead.

All over the country, a strange phenomenon is happening. Some teenagers who die aren’t staying dead. They are coming back to life, but they are no longer the same-they stutter, and their reactions to everything are slower. Termed “living impaired” or “differently biotic,” they are doing their best to fit into a society that doesn’t want them.

Fitting in is hard enough when you don’t have the look or attitude, but when almost everyone else is alive and you’re not, it’s close to impossible. The kids at Oakvale High don’t want to take classes or eat in the cafeteria next to someone who isn’t breathing. And there are no laws that exist to protect the differently biotic from the people who want them to disappear-for good.

With her pale skin and Goth wardrobe, Phoebe has never run with the popular crowd. But no one can believe it when she falls for Tommy Williams, the leader of the dead kids. Not her best friend, Margi, whose fear of the differently biotic is deeply rooted in guilt over the past. And especially not her neighbor, Adam, the star of the football team. Adam has just realized his feelings for Phoebe run much deeper than just friendship. He would do anything for her, but what if protecting Tommy is the one thing that would make her happy?

Review:

Phoebe is a pretty, self-reserved girl who dresses in Goth dresses and boots, listens to loud metal, and prefers to write poetry rather than trying to fit in as a perky, popular kid. She spends her time hanging out with her two best friends: Margi, an exuberant girl with Phoebe’s same sense of Goth style, and Adam, the clean cut boy from next door and star football linebacker. Though the three don’t seem to fit the typical high school clique mold, for all other purposes they are your average high school kids, living in a small town and attending your typical anytown high school.

That is, except for the zombies.

Across the country, dead teenagers are rising from their graves and coming back home. These “living impaired” people, or the more PC term “differently biotic” (as opposed to the derogatory jabs from the oppressive warm blood breathers, “Children of Romero”, “corpsicles”, or the ubiquitous “zombie”), do not breathe, eat, or sleep. They move a little slower than the living, they stutter or lag when they try to speak. Not all teens come back, and those that do don’t come back equally–some of the “differently biotic” come back with much more mobility and speech fluency than others…such as Tommy Williams. In Phoebe’s small town more so than anywhere else in the country, the “differently biotic” are integrated into the school system, causing fear and distrust amongst students and adults alike. When the dead boy Tommy Williams decides to make a stand and try out for the football team, the principal guarantees that he has a spot on the squad–causing even more hate and dissent amongst the students and people in the town. And Phoebe takes notice. Not only is Tommy incredibly brave for ignoring criticism and playing football, but he also doesn’t look like the typical zombie: he’s attractive, articulate, and both physically and emotionally strong.

Tensions rise between the living and undead, as prejudice and an unwillingness to accept these dead teens simmers. Activists promoting equality between the normally and differently biotic appear on the scene, encouraging students to participate in workshops. And all the while, Margi and especially Adam try to come to terms with Phoebe’s growing fascination with Tommy, and overcome prejudices of their own by befriending the zombies. Hate is a hard thing to fight, and soon danger faces not only the dead kids, but anyone who stands with them.

Generation Dead is not what I expected at all. The cover, while stylishly appealing exudes a sort of teen spirit, kitschy, lighthearted feel–and this is not what the book is at all. Daniel Waters’ debut is a surprisingly deep, moving tale about not only friendship, but acceptance and understanding as well. Like the best zombie films and novels, Generation Dead tackles the social implications of the undead. While this invocation of the zombie is limited to teenagers and strictly of the non-flesh eating variety, the presence of the undead unlocks the usual suspects of the zombie genre: critiques of racial & social constructs in the presence of that potent combination of hate & fear.

Not only is this a subversive novel exploring these themes, but it’s also a damn well-written, thrilling story with incredibly real characters. Phoebe in particular is an admirable, sympathetic heroine–she’s intelligent and courageous, but not infallible. Her attraction to – or rather, fascination with – Tommy is rooted in admiration for his strength, but Phoebe realizes the potential problems of having a true relationship with him. There’s the tragically torn Margi, whose inability to accept the differently biotic stems from a deeply personal experience with an old friend, and also explains some of Phoebe’s need to connect with the undead. Then there’s sweet, smitten Adam. Move over you bland, pale Twilight boys–Adam is a true leading man, sure to win the hearts of teens and older readers alike. His feelings for Phoebe explain his actions and motivations, but he also has an irresistible streak of moral strength. On a side note, I’m very pleased with Daniel Waters’ decision to write this book in the third-person as opposed to the usual first person point of view; it allows a much more comprehensive look at all the characters in this book.

Some of the most interesting characters are the zombies themselves–the beautiful and “highly functional” Tommy, Karen and Evan, and the lesser functioning zombies, like Collete. Waters plays his cards close to the chest here–it seems the differently biotic are dogging it a bit, not letting on that some of them can actually speak and move far more quickly than they let on, to the point that some of them may even have other supernatural talents. There’s some dissent between the zombies themselves and the actions they feel necessary to take which I cannot wait to see explored more in the next novel. Finally, there are the adult and “villainous” characters, who also play a pivotal part in this story. The most effective of these, in my opinion, were the cobra-kai-never-die type of football coach (you can hear him going, “sweep the leg!”), the overzealous (and self promoting) motivational speaker, and the oh-so politically correct father and daughter team of the Hunter Foundation for the Advancement and Understanding of Differently Biotic Persons (though something seems a little off with this supposedly benevolent foundation–again, to be tackled in the next book I hope!). The final, important cast member to this novel, however, is the angry, hurt and misguided football captain, Peter. I won’t spoil his story, but despite how angry and cruel he is, because of Waters’ skillful writing and narrative, even he becomes humanized.

Plot-wise, this is an engaging story–one of the variety where you suspect the covers have been fused with some type of adhesive that prevents you from putting it down until you’ve finished the entire thing. From the very premise of the novel, I was hooked. I loved the hypothesized causes of zombiism:

Phoebe wondered why living impairment seemed to be a phenomenon exclusive to teenagers. American teenagers, specifically. Dogs didn’t come back. Neither did monkeys or goldfish, or old people, or small children. Apparently, neither did teenagers in Uzbekistan, Burkina Faso, Sweden, or Paupa New Guinea, for some reason. But kids from Oklahoma, Rockaway Beach, The Big Apple, Arkansas, or The Big Easy all bore at least a chance of winding up living impaired, as long as they croaked during the delicate teen years. The newest Frankenstein Formula theory was that a certain mixture of teenage hormones and fast food preservatives set up the proper conditions for living impairment. The medical community was still testing the theory, having begrudgingly let go of fluorocarbons and brain patterns rewired by a lifetime of first-person shooter games.

There’s a lot of drama to this book, a lot of action. Waters keeps his book from Disney-style compartmentalized happiness by not shying away from the ugliness that hate breeds, especially with his shocker of an ending.

Only two months to go until the sequel…and I absolutely cannot wait.

Notable Quotes/Parts: The passage with Skip Slydell, promoting the differently biotic while self-promoting, is fantastically hilarious.

The first thing Slydell did was hand out business cards to all the kids…SKIP SLYDELL ENTERPRISES, the card read, and featured a studio head-and-shoulders shot of Skip beaming over a pile of books and products. IN ASSOCIATION WITH THE HUNTER FOUNDATION. There was an 800 number on the bottom of the card.

“Let’s get to it, shall we?” he said. “Ms. Hunter has told me that one of the main goals of this foundation that you are all working for and learning in is something I call the successful acclimation of differently biotic persons into society, as well as to acclimate society to a point where it is more fully accepting of differently biotic persons within it. Does that make sense? Any questions?”

He did not wait for either question to be answered. He walked as he talked, with his large, soft-looking hands waving and pointing to accentuate his statements. He took great care to make eye contact with every person, and would hold the contact a few beats longer when he focused on one of the differently biotic people. He spoke so quickly that Phoebe thought it was unlikely that most of the dead kids could follow. She might have had trouble following had she not made herself a coffee when she came in…

“The question then becomes, How can we make that acclimation happen? How can we make that acclimation happen? It isn’t easy to do, what we are planning. Change the culture. Changing the culture is very, very difficult, even in this country. You and I” — and here he held Sylvia’s blank gaze for a pause of nearly twenty seconds — “you and I have not chose easy work for ourselves. Not at all. It isn’t easy to transform culture.”

He leaned back against the table, staggering a bit, as though the enormity of their shared task had overtaken him and left him breathless. Margi was making a low humming sound that brought a smile to Phoebe’s lips, because it meant Margi had turned on her bullshit detector.

“What we are going to do is not easy. But it can be done. Even here in America. Elvis Presley did it. Martin Luther King did it. Jimi Hendrix. John F. Kennedy. Bill Gates. Michael Jordan. The two guys that created South Park.”

The American community of saints, Phoebe thought.

It just drips with sweet, subversive sarcasm. I love it.

“Hallelujah!” Slydell yelled, staring up through the ceiling. “You see that? Do you see that, everyone? Layman here won’t call his pal Tommy a zombie because he respects him. And ole Tom wouldn’t care if Adam did because he considers him a friend. You see that? Do you understand where I’m going here?”

He walked in front of Zumbrowski with his hands on his hips. “Do you know what those two are doing, Kevin? Sylvia? Margi? Those two are transforming the culture, and that is what it is all about.”

He picked up his mystery gear on the table and began unfolding what looked like a black T-shirt.

“How’d you get to be friends, guys? Was it the football?”

“Yes.”

“Pretty much.”

“So it took a radical act — that of a zombie putting on the pads and helmet — for that to happen, didn’t it?”

“I guess so,” Adam said.

“You guess so? You guess? You’d better know, son, because you and Tommy are on the bleeding edge of a new society. You guys are it. Transformation always requires radical action. Do you follow? Transformation always requires radical action. If Elvis Presley had not taken the radical action of singing a style of music traditionally sung by black people, we may never have had the transformation that rock and roll enacted on modern society. If Martin Luther King had not taken the radical action of organizing and speaking around the cause of civil rights, we may have never undergone the transformation from an oppressive state to one of freedom and equal opportunity for all. And that transformation is not yet complete. You kids are living — or unliving, as the case may be — proof of that…The second key to transformation. Conflict. Radical action coupled with radical response. Only then can we get true change. There was a reason I used strong words with you…I need your help in figuring out a term we can all be cool with, because ‘differently biotic’ is not going to cut it. Too cold, too many syllables. No panache. Frankly, it just ain’t sexy enough. Now, zombie…I personally think that makes a statement. The first step toward transforming a culture is to give names and definitions to the transformative aspects of that culture. You are zombies, kids. And you need to use that term with pride, regardless of the reaction that it provokes.”

Phoebe wondered if any of the other kids realized that Skip had given them about three “first steps” in his talk. But he was like a train racing to get back to the station before sunset; Colette had raised her hand at some point during the unifying-effects-of-team-sports speech, and Slydell had still not allowed her to speak.

He unfurled the T-shirt he was holding. It was basic black with the words DEAD…AND LOVING IT! in greenish lettering that probably glowed in the dark.

Brilliant. Even if the message is a positive one, I love that it comes with ready made t-shirts, pre-packaged for the consumers out there eager for ‘transforming the culture’. *snickers*

Verdict: A wonderful first novel, and probably one of my favorite reads of 2009 thus far. I cannot wait for the sequel, and HIGHLY recommend everyone give this genuinely smart and touching novel a read.

Rating: 8 Excellent

Reading Next: Zombie Haiku by Ryan Mecum

Yesterday we gave you a good long look at the evolution of zombies in the film genre, highlighting some pivotal films. I could wax poetical all day about Romero’s movies, but the zombie movie has a lot of other goodness to offer. Instead of repeating what I talked about yesterday (or during Halloween Week for that matter), I’ll do a clip montage of some of my very favorites, by category.

The Serious

Karen, Night of the Living Dead

When there’s no more room in hell…, Dawn of the Dead (Or if you’re curious, check out ; contains spoilers, but is petty solid).

Bub, Day of the Dead (my favorite has to of course be this final scene with Bub, but only click if you’ve seen the movie or do not mind being spoiled)

Big Daddy leads the zombie attack, Land of the Dead

28 Weeks Later (I prefer it to 28 Days, and this opening sequence is awesome although unfortunately truncated)

Alice, Resident Evil (that last scene is pretty badass too)

Dawn of the Dead 2004 Introduction (No embedding allowed, sorry!)

The Hilarious

Don’t Stop Me Now, Shaun of the Dead

It’s Miller Time!, Night of the Creeps

Tarman, Return of the Living Dead (or creepy pervert sounding Freddy and the classic line; or watch Trash get wasted)

A Bright New World, Fido
The Goretastic

The Lawnmower Scene, Dead Alive (also check out the “I kick ass for the lord!” scene, or the zombie sex scene)

The Splinter Scene, Zombi (aka Zombi 2)

Intestines…, City of the Living Dead

The So-Bad-It’s-Good

Shark vs. Zombie, Zombi (aka Zombi 2)

Best of Clips from Hell of the Living Dead (aka Night of the Zombies, aka Virus, aka many other names that all boil down tot he same thing: one of the worst movies ever made)

Night of the SS Zombies trailer (this is all you ever need to see of this film)

Nazi Zombie eats himself, Hard Rock Zombies (again, one of the worst movies ever made…but strangely watchable. I mean, just check out this clip. Or this one.)

(I don’t know why Nazi Zombies are so appealing. They simply are.)

I think that’s about it from me for now. I’ve just made myself want to watch all these movies immediately!

In the meantime, look out…

When it was decided that this Zombie Appreciation Week was going ahead I was sent an email by Thea with the subject line: Ana’s Zombie Homework with a list of stuff I had to watch and read for the week. I trembled inside. I had no problems with reading the books – heck, I was really looking forward to reading Mark Henry’s books and even the Walking Dead graphic novel which I heard good things about. But the movies? Not so much. Even though I had a great time watching the Evil Dead movies for the Halloween Week marathon, I knew it was going to be different now – less laughs, more gory – and the ninny that I am, wasn’t looking forward to watching it all alone since Dear Partner wasn’t around to keep me company this time. So, I was in big trouble.

Anyways, the list starts with her asking me which classic Zombies movies had I watched ( answer: zero) and because she had already predicted that, she says and I quote:

“I’m leaning towards making you watch the Romero Classics and Remakes: Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead

break

Go back and watch NotLD remake (1990s version), Dawn of the Dead remake (2005 I think?) and finish with Land of the Dead. Too many movies?”

she asks. HAHAHA.Yes. Thea was mental if she thought I was going to watch SIX zombie movies in one go and all by myself. So we agreed on the two first Romero Classics and one remake. 3 out of 6 – that’s a fair number. I did do a bit of extra homework – aren’t you proud of me, Thea – and read about Romero. Incredible as it may sound – you know, being the lover of all things old-cinema that I am – I had little knowledge of who he was. According to the IMDB his “thing” is that he combines horror with social commentary. Hum..all of a sudden I am much more interested so see how this plays out in the screen.

So, last Sunday morning I got the movies out, assorted crap food (crisps, cookies, Cookie Dough ice-cream) and some fresh coffee (I wasn’t in the mood for alcohol – although I do regret it now) and I press play. The recaps below are a live commentary as I went along with a wrap-up in the end.

Night of the Living Dead – 1968. (First Version)

The black and white movie opens with a couple in a car driving in a country road. It is just like the Evil dead – I already ask myself if all zombie movies start like that. Is that a trademark or something? Anyways, this couple is driving on a six hour journey to visit a grave and they are bickering with each other. Oh wait, they are brother and sister and the grave is their father’s. They get out of the car but before Johnny gets out he listens a transmission in the radio about technical problems – is that the beginning of the something sinister?

Barbra and Johnny

They go the cemetery and Johnny starts teasing Barbra because she is afraid of the place with “they are coming to get you Barbra” – oooo, goose bumps. Then this weird-looking guy comes out of nowhere and he tries to what? Eat Johnny? While Barbra just stands there and watches…. Thunder! Scary .

Barbra runs and falls (naturally), she misses a shoe! I can’t believe she left her brother behind. She gets into the car, the zombies are coming and locks herself inside, she can’t drive cause Johnny has the keys, then she releases the car, the car goes downhill, the car crashes into a tree then she runs, then she sees a house, oh my god the music is very tense….gosh. I am very tense. She gets a knife in the kitchen.

She tries to make a phone call. Phone does not seem to work. Naturally. More zombies are approaching the house. Mind you, for the past 10 minutes there wasn’t a single line of dialogue only the soundtrack which is VERY sci-fi ish and the sound of me breathing heavily. She decides to go upstairs and as she is climbing the steps she sees a half eaten head ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

A guy shows up driving a truck. Locks himself with her in the house. Yay, dialogue. He tries to ask her questions but blondie is rather catatonic. “We’ve got to get out of here.” No shit, Sherlock.

The guy, Ben, says “ I can take care of two of them, are there more?” He kills a few of them, rather easily, while another is getting into the house. These zombies are of the slow kind of zombies, if I may say so, but many more are coming!

The house is surrounded! I look at the watch and holy crap, only 20 minutes in and I am already all holed up under the covers and tense . This guy seems to know what he is doing, he drags the body out of the house, sets it on fire in front of the other zombies, very calmly then he blocks the door. The guy is really trying and he asks for Barbra’s help in boarding up the doors and windows but me thinks Barbra is a goner. Outside crickets chirp. They start sharing the stories of how they got there.

“We got to go out and get Johnny” she says. Yeah, now you think of your brother.
“Your brother is dead”. Ben says. She freaks out and slaps him. He slaps her back. She swoons. Ay.

Ben fins the radio and listens to the broadcast. “Mass murder of unidentified assassins. Ordinary looking people in a kind of trance. All over the country. President has called for a meeting with high ranking officials” Barbra is still out, whilst Ben is boarding up the whole house with the radio for company the news are not good.

Then two people come out of the cellar aeeeeeeee. And they want to take the food downstairs and hide. Our guy Ben, who is very articulate, wants to stay put, he thinks it’s safer. This other guy, Cooper thinks the cellar is safe because there is only one door to protect; on the other hand there is only one way out too. The cellar is a death trap, Ben argues. There is an instant dislike between them – maybe because Ben is black and this is America circa the 60s? maybe that is part of the social commentary I was looking forward to? Hummm. Cooper and his wife Helen decide to stay in the cellar with their daughter Karen who was bitten by one of the zombies earlier and is sick (oh-oh). And the other couple Tom and Judy remain upstairs. They find a TV and the broadcast says that the zombies – actually they say Ghouls and not zombies, they don’t even use the word zombie in the movie , not so far- are the reanimated bodies of the dead and they are eating the flesh of the people they kill. There is no clue as to why this is happening.

Watching TV

So to recap: they are trapped inside a house in a tense situation ,the zombies keep coming, the TV and radio officials have no clear instructions, there is a truck with no gas, and a locked gas pump and no key. What to do?

Meanwhile Cooper and his wife are arguing and he says:

“They will see when they come begging to let them in. “

She says:

“It is important isn’t it? To be right and everybody else to be wrong?” hummm.

Anyways, they find the key to the gas pump, and come up with a plan. To drive the truck to the back of the house. Ben will be the one doing the zombie shooting and Tom will be the one doing the driving while Cooper will throw Molotov Cocktails from the windows. As they are making a run from the house to the truck, Judy decides to go along for the ride and runs at the last minute to them. Seriously, I am NOT liking the portrayal of women as shit-heads imbeciles in this movie. When they get to the gas pump they realise they have the wrong key. Tom then decides it is a good idea to shoot the gas pump open which sets the whole thing on fire killing him and Judy in the process because her shirt got caught and the truck explodes before they can get away.

You see. It’s sheer human stupidity that kills people not the zombies. Then people ask me why I don’t like horror movies. Because I don’t like to be reminded how stupid we are as a species. Our guy Ben is all alone now, with one gun, one torch and one million zombies, this does not bode well. He runs back to the house and Cooper, the coward, was going to let him outside!!! Oh, humanity!

The movie goes back to the truck scene and then there is the first REAL horrific scene in the movie. Tom and Judy and zombie buffet. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww very very gory.

Ben and Cooper are fighting , Ben is punching him when Zombies attack. They fight for the gun (seriously, Zombies attacking and the two humans fighting each other) and Ben ends up shooting Cooper who dies in the Cellar. His kid Lauren has become a Zombie now and she eats him and in a truly horrific scene she kills her mother too.

Ouch

I feel sick to my stomach. I wish I had some alcohol right about now. Yikes, Johnny is a zombie and he takes Barbra. Bye you useless blondie – you will not be missed.

Ben then locks himself where? In the cellar duh with the two recent made zombies whom he has to kill. He is alone now, what is he going to do?

It’s the morning after there is this documentary feel to it, as the camera goes around the countryside. Following the reports, the police, everything appears to be under control now. A group of zombie-hunters are going around killing the ones that remain shooting them in the head. Ben is alive in the cellar and he comes out to check if the coast is clear. He goes to the living room to look out the window, outside the guys are chasing zombies and OMG THEY SHOT HIM. THEY THOUGHT HE WAS A ZOMBIE. IT WAS JUST LIKE THAT. Poof. No build-up, no nothing. Holy crap. Best end ever. I stare stupefied at the TV.

Ok, on to the next one.

Dawn of the Dead – 1978

The movie opens and it’s very clear the Zombie apocalypse is already under way. It is inside a TV station and there is chaos while the presenters discuss and try to explain and understand what the heck is going on. The possible causes for the reanimation of the dead and so and so forth. This guy Stephen who seems to be in charge of the station’s helicopter goes to his girlfriend Francine who works at the station and they plan to steal the chopper and fly away. Meanwhile at an apartment building is invaded by a SWAT team because according to the TV broadcast, there are NO private residencies anymore and ALL dead bodies MUST be destroyed. There is chaos, panic. Some of the police have gone apeshit crazy and are shooting left and right. There are zombies who seem to be family members of the people still living there, things are not looking good. Actually the zombies do not look good, period. I mean, they are blue.

I much prefer the black and white zombies of the other movie.

It all points to the complete collapse of society – which is very interesting. The other movie shows the very start of an epidemic in a very contained environment – ie a small house in the middle of nowhere. This one is set in a big city and this opening preludes the expansion of the epidemic.

Back to the movie, one of the cops, Roger meets Peter, another cop from another unit, and together they kill a bunch of zombies that are feasting the basement of the building in an absolutely disgusting scene. Totally, totally gross and revolting. Zombies, me no likey.

They decide they had enough of this shit and they meet up with Stephen and Francine and they all escape the city in the chopper. As they fly away, we see scenes all over the country of what seem to be Zombie Hunting Parties. Rednecks and local cops going around shooting zombies and having barbecues with beer and music. It’s surreal. Oh, humanity <<< I will probably overuse this sentence , please bear with me.

They stop to get some gas and they are attacked. Francine literally just stands there, while Stephen screams for her to run and she does nothing, neither runs nor helps him. Aaaaaaaaaargh. But he gets away. There is a little bit of comic relief here as one of the cops, Roger always gets in front of Stephen and kills the zombies before Stephen can shoot them – Stephen is a lousy shot, you see.

Roger and Peter – BFF

Anyways, they fly away again and they see a shopping mall and it’s mostly free of Zombies (only a few inside) and they find a room full of food and they decide to stay there. They look outside and Francine wonders why the zombies keep coming to the mall

Francine: What are they doing? Why do they come here?
Stephen: Some kind of instinct. Memory, of what they used to do. This was an important place in their lives.

I didn’t say it!

Brainless Zombie luurrves the Mall. So does Fran. They have something in common after all?

They find out Francine is pregnant. There is a scene where they talk about her baby like she is not even there – Peter asks Stephen if he wants help with aborting the baby. EXCUSE ME…is anyone going to ask the woman what she thinks about it?

Anyways, they concoct a plan – they go around the shopping centre to check out what is there and it’s quite a nice sequence. There is comic relief again (although the two cops seem to be having way too much fun like a duo of maniacs — they are enjoying themselves after all they have all these things at their disposal). They decide to block all the exits so that no zombies can get in and they shoot all the zombies inside. But Roger is bitten by a Zombie in the process and gets sick.

There is a great scene with Francine telling them that she is not going to be mother den and she wants to be part of the decision making process and I am all like, you tell them sista! And she wants to learn to fly the helicopter in case something happens to Stephen and I am like, OH-OH Stephen is SO going to die. But then she apologies to Stephen and I am like why are you apologising you shit-head????

There is an awesome scene next, where Roger is dying and he tells Peter that he will try not to come back , but he does of course, and the TV is on, the guy on the TV seems to be scientist is trying to say to the dismay of the reporter that we need to figure out a way to feed the zombies and that we must be LOGICAL about it, and Peter shoots Roger. It’s a very gripping scene.

Then there is only the three of them left: Stephen, Francine and Peter. They have made a life for themselves but there has been no broadcast for a few days. They are bored. Clearly they are over the allure of having the shopping centre for themselves. The mindless zombies keep trying to enter the shopping centre. Then , and get this right?

They need to arm themselves and barricade themselves inside again because they are being attacked by….a gang of humans who want to loot. Can I just repeat: oh, humanity!!!! They attack the mall and let the zombies back. Stephen ends up dead and reanimated

(A-HA, I KNEW it!).

The humans end up all dead, the zombies are led by Undead-Stephen to where Francine and Peter are hiding. Francine makes a dash to the helicopter and Peter decides to stay behind (ugh, why?) but then he changes his mind and in a very cheesy, corny heroic escape through the horde of zombies he gets to the helicopter just in time to fly away with just a little fuel. Meh. Will they make it? Do I care? No.

Not so keen on the ending of this one. Ok, toilet break and to get more coffee. Hummm, I feel like eating beans on toast. I wonder why?

Night of the Living Dead. 1990 remake.

The movie opens almost exactly like the other one (car in the road, etc) but the already famous dialogue is the first line:

“They are coming to get you Barbra.”

Barbra and Johnny are driving to their mother’s grave (it was their father’s in the original) and I jump when the first Zombie attacks in the cemetery and holy crap Barbra is kicking some ass. Here is hoping she will have some back bone this time.

She does have shorter red hair and red does that equals more intelligent? As a long haired blond, I feel particularly insulted by my own theory. I am stressed though. The opening is a play by play of the other movie, the cemetery, the car,

the running to the house. Even though Barbra is terrified she tries to find a weapon. Good girl. She kills one. Ben shows up and he kills a zombie and he goes:

“die…DAMN IT!”

Ok this one is the most terrifying of them all. The zombies jump out of nowhere.

I feel sick to my stomach. Maybe the beans on toast were not such a good idea after all.

This Ben blesses himself after the kills some of the zombies. He feels these deaths more than the other Ben, which makes him a bit more human to me. Night falls.

There is a high sense of isolation. I digress thinking about how would it feel to be trapped in a house with no one around and undead people coming to eat me. I look outside and there is no around and I am alone and I decide to stop digressing.

Barbra is looking outside and she is THINKING: they are slow. We can outrun them. We have guns. We can get away. FINALLY someone says it. Good lord, it took 3 movies and 4 hours and a half!

They find the people hiding in the cellar. Cooper is even more violent this time. He even slaps his wife when she disagrees about staying downstairs. Pig.

Barbra who was wearing skirt changes into trousers. I am really digging this chick this time.

Then zombies come and they are boarding up the house, Barbra is unhappy about the situation. She thinks they should leave. Ben and Cooper are still in the outs.

Ben: You are losing it girl, you are losing it.
Barbara: You think so?
[Barbara shoots an approaching zombie in the face]
Barbara: Whatever I lost, I lost a long time ago and I do not plan on losing anything else. You can talk to me about losing it when you stop screaming at each other like a bunch of two-year-olds.

Cooper tries to smuggle the tv that Ben had found upstairs, downstairs. They fight over the TV and they break it. Way to go. Can you see it coming: Oh, humanity!

Judy, the other girl is much smarter too, when the time comes to put the plan to get the gas in motion she wants to go so that one can drive the truck while the other can shoot and the other can pump the gas, instead of being a last minute desperate stupid move to be close to her sweetheart. The boy still thinks it’s a good idea to shoot the gas pump though and they die. Ben has to make his way back again but this time Barbra fights Cooper and she lets him in. Cooper’s daughter comes out of the basement, undead. Barbra and Ben want to kill her, Cooper doesn’t. All of a sudden the movie is like a freaking western.

The zombies are approaching and the stupid humans are shooting each other. Wait didn’t I write the same thing about the other movie? Yes, I did, I guess some things did not change. This one takes it a step further. Cooper does not die goes into the attic and Ben into the cellar. And Barbra leaves alone with a gun. She goes around the countryside and has close encounters with several zombies and it’s pretty heavy. But she survives and is found by a group of vigilantes and is taken to their camp. There they are having another one of those zombie parties. Barbra at one point stops and look at one group who is making shouting practice out of hanging zombies and she says:

“They’re us. We’re them and they’re us.”

BRILLIANT – I absolutely love this incarnation of Barbra. Then they go back to the house and Ben is now a zombie. They kill him. Cooper is still alive though and he comes out of the attic and he says to Barbra: you came back. You came back. And she.shoots.him.

Just like that. Oh My God. How horrible. I don’t think I love her anymore. I mean Cooper was a horrible person but she did not have to kill him. She just became one of them. But then again, I guess that is the point of all of these movies right? To show the complete collapse of the human civilization.

I realize now these movies are hardly about the zombies. In fact the zombies get little screen time in most of them. This is about what happen to people when they are faced with an apocalypse to which they are not prepared to. In the end, it is clear that they have become as mindless as the zombies they so fear. And they do not have the excuse of being undead corpses.

As for the movies themselves: which one did I like best? The first Night of the Living Dead. Purely for its cinematographic qualities: I love the black and white photography and the sci-fi soundtrack. I thought the contained environment was more effective in showing the decay of society especially with the radio and TV broadcasting in the back-ground (I sorely missed that in the remake) and the tension between Ben and Cooper was better played in the original. Lauren, the zombie girl was absolutely terrifying. Not that the movie is perfect – the portrayal of women as helpless creatures was completely abhorrent and at least this was changed in the remake. Both Dawn of the Dead and the remake of Night of the Living Dead are enjoyable movies though. The former being more of cool-fun variety and the latter having the kick-ass heroine and the memorable quotes to carry on. But still, Night of the Living Dead, the original is as classic as it can get, and if you have to watch one I would recommend you to watch it.

All in all, a very good marathon. It was not what I expected to find and I stand corrected: Thea, zombies CAN be awesome.

Zombies in film have come a very long way since their inception in the early 1930s–from under the control of diabolical voodoo priests, to infectious shambling swarms, to talking & sentient creatures, to Olympic speed sprinters. With all the variations out there, we thought it would be a good idea to pay homage to them, thus we give you: The evolution of The Zombie.

Phase 0: The Pre-Film Era

“I will knock down the Gates of the Netherworld,
I will smash the door posts, and leave the doors flat down,
And will let the dead go up to eat the living!
And the dead will outnumber the living!” – Ishtar, The Epic of Gilgamesh

Dating back to the 7th century BCE (and probably before then too), there has been this written record of the undead eaters of the living (see also the Scandinavian Draugr, the Japanese Jikininki, or the Hindu and Buddhist Rakshasa). While there is a global record of eaters of the living, the zombie proper has its origins in Haiti with…

Phase I: Voodoo

In 1929, William B. Seabrook published The Magic Island, detailing his experiences with Haitians and their cultural belief in zombies–in fact, credit Seabrook with the popularization of the actual term “zombi”, from the West African diety “Nzambi”. Seabrook’s book then inspired the first credited zombie film, the 1932 flick titled White Zombie, starring none other than the movie monster icon himself, Bella Lugosi. This brand of zombie is almost completely unrecognizable from our current definition of the ravenous undead–Lugosi plays a Haitian Voodoo priest that controls a young woman in a nefarious scheme hatched by a jealous lover. Voodoo Zombies are almost always rooted in Haitian culture, as the tenets of “Vodou” (vodou, vaudou, vodoun or vodun) state that the dead can be reanimated by a Vodoun priest (a “bokor”). The reanimated body is completely under the power of the priest, as an unthinking slave. What’s pretty groovy about Haitian zombies is its roots in Haitian history and culture–take for example this guy, Clairvius Narcisse.

Over a family dispute concerning land, Clairvius was taken out of the picture by being sold to a bokor. In 1962, Clairvius was buried “dead”, then unearthed and resurrected as a zombie and sent to work on a sugar plantation for the next two years until his bokor master died. Clairvius would wander Haiti for the next 16 years, until coming across his long lost sister and remembering who she–and who he himself–was. Clairvius’ state of “death” and zombification is hypothesized to have been brought on by the use of two potent toxins, which bokor use to create their “undead” slaves (technically no one is dead, but the drugs supposedly prevent the zombie from thinking, feeling or doing anything outside of its master’s wishes). As it pertains to zombies in films, this whole story might sound somewhat familiar…

That’s because Clairvius’ story was related by Harvard Ethnobotanist Wade Davis in his doctoral dissertation, and then later popularized in Wes Craven’s film adaptation The Serpent and the Rainbow (which, by the way is one of Craven’s more underrated films–I’m a big fan. I mean, it stars Bill Pullman! Come on!).

Other notable applications of the “reanimated” sorcerer type of zombie can be seen in the works of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and H.P. Lovecraft, most especially in his story Herbert West–Reanimator. Later this would be made into the classic film by Stuart Gordon, Re-animator.

Phase II: Romero

Zombies remained empty vessels, mindless slaves to their bokor masters in film until 1968, when a team of aspiring young filmmakers decided to bring the dead back to hungry, shambling life in the rural Pennsylvania countryside. Night of the Living Dead is probably one of the most (if not THE most) important horror movies ever made, effortlessly redefining not only the Zombie and laying the groundwork for our own interpretation of the monster today, but revolutionizing an entire genre of film.

Instead of being slaves to their voodoo masters, zombies became creatures driven by a singular desire–human flesh. When a space probe explodes in Earth’s atmosphere, the dead inexplicably rise from their graves and are overcome with their only imperative of finding and devouring mankind. Being corpses, zombies stumble and move jerkily, without any known thinking patterns (yet) other than very basic instincts to feed. They cannot open doors or fire weapons, but they know where their next meal is and they swarm, surrounding a group of survivors trapped in a country home. (On an interesting trivia note–the term “zombie” is never used in Night of the Living Dead; the newscasters call the undead “ghouls”. It’s not until Dawn of the Dead that Romero actually uses the z-word)

The beauty of George A. Romero is that his films aren’t really about zombies, but are about people. As comics author Robert Kirkman writes Rick in the closing lines of his Walking Dead “The Heart’s Desire” storyarc:

Romero’s films are layered, not just with the shock value of naked, vicious zombies munching on intestines (but who doesn’t love that!), but with messages about politics, about racism and the inherent flaws of the human condition. Just take a look at the dynamic between Cooper and Ben in Night of the Living Dead, or later in Dawn of the Dead with that ultimate scene of the raiding, looting, human mob. Or later again with the brutality of the military in Day of the Dead or the corruption and perversion of wealth and power in Land of the Dead.

On a more basic level, Romero also laid the ground rules for zombies, which are:

1. All dead people become zombies.
2. All zombies hunger only for human flesh.
3. Zombies are undead, therefore are slow and uncoordinated.
4. If one is scratched or bitten by a zombie, that person has been infected and will soon die and reanimate as a zombie.
5. To kill a zombie, you must sever or destroy the brain.

These rules of course would be tweaked, even applied further by Romero himself (see Phase IV.b).

Phase III: BRAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!

Lesser known is that Romero had a writing partner on Night of the Living Dead–John Russo actually wrote the novel of the same name, which inspired the film. After finishing the movie together, Russo retained the rights to films with “Living Dead” in the title, and by the time the 1980s rolled around he gave the green light to Dan O’Brannon to rewrite and direct this new script…and what a difference.

This is the birth of the fast zombie, and the origin of the battle cry for the gooshy gray matter:

A top secret military gas called Trioxin had an accidental leak in a VA morgue, and six corpses reanimated as a result. The military quickly covered it up by freezing the corpses in sealed drums, shipping them to remote storage facilities…unfortunately, one drum spouts a leak, the corpse (tar man, above) gets out and hell is unleashed.

Unlike Romero’s zombies, there’s no way to “kill” these undead minions. Chop ‘em up into tiny pieces, they’ll still wiggle around and bite. Burn the bodies and…well, we know how great that turns out. Something else new about this remarkable entry to the zombie cannon: zombies can be pretty damn funny.

Phase IV (a): Plagues, Mutants, and Speed

One major video game franchise led to a new imagining of zombies: Resident Evil. With the popularity of these Capcom games, zombies got another face lift–this time, with zombiism as an infectious disease. While Return of the Living Dead used a government gas as the agent that inadvertently reanimated the dead, the Resident Evil games take a private monstrous entity with the Umbrella Corporation and an escaped deadly gas virus that creates zombies out of people, animals, and even some mutated undead creations courtesy of the Umbrella Corporation’s experimentation. The popularity of the games spawned the successful film franchise (well, minus that terrible second film). Also it brought along a hot, ass-kicking heroine slaying the undead left and right (although there had been heroines in zombie flicks earlier, none of them had been quite so dominant as dear Alice).

Speaking of infections, there’s also the reimagining of speedy zombies with Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later. Technically, yeah they aren’t zombies (they are not undead), but they are infected creatures with an insatiable desire to kill and maim every living creature, spreading infection instantaneously through vomiting blood. While anyone who has been around this site for long enough knows that I’m not a huge fan of the film (its not original, as its avid supporters are convinced; it also suffers from an identity crisis as it’s not sure if it is a gore fest or a sort of pale imitation of a Romero political commentary), it is an important addition to the zombie genre if for the mere fact that it was popular and critically well received.

Other infectious plague types of almost zombies: the more recent release of I Am Legend (although they are supposed to be vampires in Matheson’s book), the fantastic Slither alien consciousness creatures, the alternate reality Fido, the Evil Dead deadites, or Grindhouse Presents: Planet Terror.

Or of course, my favorite invocation of infected zombies: Peter Jackson’s classic gorefest film, Dead Alive. Sumatran Rat Monkey, anyone?

Phase IV (b): Cognition

Opposed to the progression of speed or biochemical weapon enhanced zombies, there’s the more purist route. In the later Romero movies Day of the Dead and Land of the Dead, zombies start to evolve and change. They remember things from their past lives, how to play instruments, use machines, how to even think and lead an undead revolution. The two harbingers of this change? Bub the zombie, and Big Daddy.

While thinking and talking zombies did occur earlier with Return of the Living Dead (“Send….more….paramedics!”), this is a more serious take on zombies. They learn, they remember things, ghosts of their prior lives. It seems like a natural extrapolation should zombies stay alive–err, undead–for long enough. More often this is taking a role in fiction too: from wonderful books like Ryan Mecum’s Zombie Haiku and Daniel Waters’ Generation Dead (both to be reviewed this week), the pretty damn good Cell by Stephen King, or even the lamentable entries of Brian Keene’s series (seriously, these books are shoddy, but it’s worth a mention).

Phase V: The Beyond…

So…what is next for zombies? Where do we go from here? Do zombies get faster? Develop superpowers? Or do they gain some of their lost humanity with remembrance of their lives? Is there a “cure” for zombiism, offsetting the zombie apocalypse? Can zombies be trained and reintegrated into society a la Fido or Shaun of the Dead? What say you?

For more on zombie books and movies (this post is by no means a comprehensive list, just a few of the films that I personally believe changed the genre), check out the older essentials post from Zombie Day during Halloween Week.

And just for fun, if you haven’t tried this site yet, you really should.

The Outbreak – Would You Survive the Zombie Apocalypse?