Welcome! With the inaugural post, we’d like to lay it straight and explain who we are and what it is we intend to do here.
What exactly is a “book smuggler”?
Wise question, young grasshopper. We are two completely obsessed, sad, sick addicts when it comes to books. We’re not just talking a meager fix of sci-fi here or a quick shot of romance there – we’re talking full-blown, unrestrained, junkie-shuffling, itching-my-scratches addiction. This entails spending massive amounts of our disposable incomes at various book retailers, stockpiling said books, and creating lengthy lists of what to read next. Our significant others have tried to quell the compulsion with threats, mocking cynicism, and finally with desperate pleas and interventions. Their disapproval and plain refusal to accept us as we are, book-hoarding habits and all, forced the two of us to take drastic measures. To escape the hawk-like watch of our boyfriends, we contrived a way to beat the system: we order books online and have the books shipped in bulk to our respective places of work. Armed with oversized handbags, we smuggle the books home, just a few at a time, where we slip them inconspicuously into the book pile. Should someone catch on to the system, denial works wonders (e.g. “No baby, I’ve had this book for ages, I just haven’t read it yet!”). So long as the telltale boxes are out of sight and safely disposed of at an offsite location, the boys will never be the wiser.*
Hence, our title as Book Smugglers.
The real kicker to this story is both of us undertook the same sneaky smuggling plan unbeknownst to the other. When we found each other out, we decided to combine our brilliant, devious genius in the form of book reviews. Which brings us to…
——————–
*Of course, over the years the secret is literally out of the oversized handbag – our partners have since the inception of this blog caught on to our devious smuggling ways. And, wise men that they are, both have given up trying to dissuade us from our shared bookish obsession. We knew they’d come around… eventually.
What is the purpose of this blog?
No one becomes a master at blockade running and sneaking in contraband without having a voracious appetite for reading. And as avid readers with an OCD streak a mile wide, what better way to channel obsession into reviews! We will give you straight up reviews, complete with bitchy or gushing opinions, on all of our recent endeavors. The goal is to review a minimum of 4 books per week. At least once a month, we’ll do a joint review of the same book to add a little spice and lend some differing perspectives. And since we are such obsessive dorks, anything else—movies, television shows, news bits, sports—is fair game.
Welcome! And we hope you enjoy!
About Thea:
Three things: Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
No not really. At least not the Bears and Beets part (although there is a case to be made for bears. Bears are badass). I’m a full-time working woman, a fresh outta college grad that needs to escape from everyday drudgery through multiple, unhealthy obsessions. Namely books of the scifi/fantasy/horror variety (both YA and “adult”), dorky television shows, movies, zombies, video games of the survival horror and hand-eye coordination variety (hi, guitar hero!), and sports.
Book-wise, my taste runs towards the fantastical. Which isn’t to say I haven’t been persuaded to reading (and somewhat enjoying) trashy romance novels (Ana’s influence); in general I’m much more of a speculative fiction kind of gal. I’ve studied history (my first love) and literature, and while trendy high-lit ficton can sometimes weasel its way into the rotation, I try to stay away from the overly-pompous and pretentious types of material.
With movies, I’m a sucker for true horror, anything that involves multiple explosions, and cheap humor. I watch everything I can get my hands on that sounds even remotely interesting (not to say that I review all of these movies favorably). Cultured, uber-artsy, moody flicks aren’t my jam (although if forced, under threat of torture I will watch them). Zombie movies are the best. Naturally.
I am an opinionated bitch when it comes to sports. A regular hot-blooded UCLA Bruin devotee, Laker for life, Dodgers and Angels lover, etc, etc, etc.
Other notable obsessions include: LOST—I’m a full on, guns-blazin’ Skater (yes, I am into the girly shippy stuff and won’t ever apologize for it!); Battlestar Galactica; The X-Files; Survival-Horror video games; and did I mention anything to do with zombies and the apocalypse in general?
As such, my reviews/entries will deal with the above materials. Cheers!
Thea James works for a large publishing house by day, and is a Book Smuggler by night. When she’s not here at The Book Smugglers, or swamped in pending papers and proposals, she can be found blogging over at Kirkus with Ana. (If she’s not there either, try the local bar.)
About Ana:
While trying to write this intro, I find that describing myself is very hard. My friends and family tell me I live in my own little world. Well, in my little world there are rooms there are filled with books and just about enough space for a few other healthy obsessions such as movies, TV shows and travelling around the world.
My thing with books probably started when my grandfather read fairy tales to me. I grew up surrounded by them as my mother was a teacher and a voracious reader as well. I remember my father taking me to second-hand bookshops when I was a teenager where I fell in love with the smell of books. I like the physical aspect of the books as much as like the contents: nothing compares to holding a new book in your hands.
Subject-wise my taste has expanded with time. I started with the fairy tales and children’s books, moved towards Agatha Christie’s novels when I was 12, spent a lot of time reading History and Archaeology (which probably explains why I decided to study History at Uni, a degree that has never been used since graduation), literary fiction and eventually Fantasy. In September 2007, something happened that changed my views on books: upon recommendation of a friend I picked up a book from a section I had always looked down upon and in the five hours that took me to read this book, I fell in love with a new genre, went online to search for more recommendations and a new world opened in front of me. That book was The Viscount who Loved Me by Julia Quinn and the love for Romance was what prompted me to start this blog in 2008. Over the years, I moved away from Romance to concentrate more on Speculative Fiction (YA and adult).
I also have a love for all things British. So much so that about 9 years ago I migrated from Brazil where I was born, to England, where I live with my partner. Here, my little world has expanded to include new friends, Internet pursuits and a passion for cooking. I am a feminist and you can often find me on our Twitter feed talking about books and raging against the world.
You will probably not hear a word from me on sports (unless it is the World Cup and Brazil is playing) but I will join forces with Thea when it comes to Lost and Skate.
Ana Grilo is a Brazilian who moved to the UK because of the weather. No, seriously. She works with translations in RL and hopes one day The Book Smugglers will be her day job. When she’s not here at The Book Smugglers, or hogging our Twitter feed, she can be found blogging over at Kirkus with Thea.
Want More Book Smugglers?
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In accordance with the new FTC Guidelines for blogging and endorsements, The Book Smugglers would like everyone to know that while we do purchase our own books for review on occasion, you should assume that every book reviewed here at The Book Smugglers was provided to the reviewers by the publisher or the author for free unless specified otherwise.
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[...] wouldn’t I like The Magicians, you ask? Well, there was this review from Ana at The Book Smuggler. I stumbled upon it and it made me think this might not be a book for [...]
[...] you heard of The Book Smugglers? For reviews and recommendations of YA lit with a predilection for the fantastical. They try to [...]
Think airline travel is such a hassle? Try time travel!
Joseph Richards was a star university tailback and Zoomy brat who had a gift for learning languages. Recruited by a shadowy organization called the Philology Annex, Richards went through rigorous training at Fort Bragg and then grueling deep hypnosis sessions in the ancient Egyptian language. Why? Because he signed up to become a temporal field agent.
Bow Tie. The First Manuscript of the Richards’ Trust is the frontend of a trilogy that chronicles the early temporal adventures of Joseph Richards, who as a result becomes an Egyptologist. What a cover!
As for myself, I am a former university professor of ancient history and archaeology, who has been there and dug that. I’m a big fan of Tom Clancy’s earlier works and Michael Crichton. Bottom line: I just, flat make science fiction, ancient history, and archaeology come alive.
So what do you think?
Come visit my website, sample some chapters, and begin to explore the temporal adventures of Egyptologist Joseph Richards at http://www.wjcherf.com.
If I have caught your interest, kindly send me an email and I will make arrangements for a copy or ecopy of Bow Tie to arrive at your doorstep.
Best regards,
Bill Cherf
This is fantastic! Just ran across your blog and it makes me most happy that I did!
Brilliant web pages, ladies, and you’ve reminded me I need to check up a load of new books. In the meantime, if you’re interested in medieval English stories … let me know. I’ll see if Simon & Schuster will send you one or two copies.
Happy reading!
Michael Jecks
Ohh i just love this! I’m a 25 year old bookseller from Melbourne and just happened to come across your blog. You both have such similar taste in books as i do so i will be jotting down some titles to order in asap. Thank you for putting this blog out there for all us book junkies. It’s fantastic!
[...] look thoughtful and considerate year round. And provide a perfect hiding-in-plain-sight approach to smuggling in personal [...]
lesbians?
Ladies, I’ve got a couple of titles out on Amazon Kindle – Made in Great Britain and No Lesser Devil – and I would really appreciate your review. Thanks a lot and Good Luck with the blog!
Best Regards from Mike
Ana Grilo:
I wrote and I had published here in Brazil an multimedia ebook, “O Jogo dos Papeletes Coloridos”, a digital book that gathers hypermedia text, music and videos, and can be accessed by many digital devices. It brings paintings, watercolors and other fine arts that I’ve made. Afterwards, I wrote music for each work, linking them with a character, event or chapter of the book. The final step was create videos . As result, we have text, image, music and movement, everything integrated, consistent, made by the same author, the same person.
In spite of the fact the book has been published in Portuguese, ( not yet translated to English – it isn’t a problem to you, right?), and believing that it might interest you, since it indicates a shift towards the near future in the publishing market, I decided write to you, to inform you about this brazilian novelty, provinding you with some links, in case you want take a look: http://www.facebook.com/pages/O-Jogo-dos-Papeletes-Coloridos/363988133630162, or http://www.psantoro.com.br.
Thank you!
If you are really OCD, u will read the following.
I’m a therapist in a children’s mental health program. In 2006, I started the Lacy Dawn Adventures project to raise funds for the prevention of child abuse in West Virginia where I live. Three short stories were published. I received minimal author proceeds (one magazine was on-line only). My first novel, Rarity from the Hollow, was published shortly thereafter as an ebook by a company that went down a month later – it only sold 10 copies despite having won a prize and the receipt of several glowing book reviews, including one by The Missouri Review. As advertised, half of the $120 that I received was donated to Children’s Home Society of West Virginia to help find permanent homes for children in temporary shelters.
In 2012, Rarity was reprinted by a company in Leeds, England, as an ebook, paperback, and preorder hardback. However, in the interim so much had changed in the book industry. It now takes a lot of money to compete with zillions of self-published books that have not even been edited. So far, I have received no money from the publisher. I’m writing to request a book review. Rarity has only received one since its reprint (available on Goodreads) because another new industry has recently been created – paid for book reviews – and I make a very low salary. Following is additional information that includes the first chapter. I have eight copies of the paperback, but am reluctant to mail you one because of postage. A local bookstore will take them on consignment. Please let me know if you are interested in posting a review or helping in any other way.
Thanks,
Robert Eggleton
RARITY FROM THE HOLLOW
ROBERT EGGELTON
411 Pages
Science Fiction/Fantasy
ISBN: 1907133062 / ISBN-13: 9781907133060
Dog Horn Publishing, Leeds, England
To purchase:
http://www.amazon.com/Rarity-from-the-Hollow-ebook/dp/B007JDI508
http://www.lulu.com/shop/robert-eggleton/rarity-from-the-hollow/paperback/product-20203207.html
http://www.doghornpublishing.com/books/rarity_from_the_hollow.html
Author proceeds are donated to prevent child abuse in West Virginia. http://www.lacydawnadventures.com
Review by Adicus Ryan Garton (excerpt), Atomjack Science Fiction Magazine http://susurruspress.com/Atomjack/7/current.htm
“Imagine Wizard of Oz and Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy smashed together and taking place in a hollow in the hills of West Virginia. Now you have an idea of what to expect when you sit down to read Rarity From the Hollow….”
…unabashed, unashamed exploration of the life of young Lacy Dawn, as she learns that she is the savior of the universe. The naked, genderless android, Dot-com… Add her abusive father, her weak-willed mother, a sexually-abused ghost for a best friend…trees that talk to her, a dog that can communicate telepathically with cockroaches and so much more.
There is so much to this story, and its writing is so unblinkingly honest…spares us nothing…her father beating her and her mother, the emotions…the dark creeping insanity that eats away at her Iraq-veteran father, and the life in general of people too poor, too uneducated to escape.
In part, it is a grueling exposition of what children endure when …abused. …the only way…to escape is to learn that she is the savior… strong, tough, smart—all those attributes that any child should have—and she reminds us that children are survivors, adaptive and optimistic.
But don’t think you’re going to be reading something harsh and brutal and tragic. This book is laugh-out-loud funny at times, satiric of almost everything it touches upon…The characters from the hollow and from the planet Shptiludrp (the Mall of the Universe) are funny almost to the point of tears.
…It’s absolutely fantastic….”
Adicus Ryan Garton is the editor of the online science fiction magazine Atomjack. He is currently teaching English in South Korea. Email: Adicus Ryan Garton
First Chapter:
Cozy in Cardboard
Inside her first clubhouse, Lacy Dawn glanced over fifth grade spelling words for tomorrow’s quiz at school. She already knew all the words in the textbook and most others in any human language.
Nothing’s more important than an education.
The clubhouse was a cardboard box in the front yard that her grandmother’s new refrigerator had occupied until an hour before. Her father brought it home for her to play in.
The nicest thing he’s ever done.
Faith lay beside her with a hand over the words and split fingers to cheat as they were called off. She lived in the next house up the hollow. Every other Wednesday for the last two months, the supervised child psychologist came to their school, pulled her out of class, and evaluated suspected learning disabilities. Lacy Dawn underlined a word with a fingernail.
All she needs is a little motivation.
Before they had crawled in, Lacy Dawn tapped the upper corner of the box with a flashlight and proclaimed, “The place of all things possible — especially you passing the fifth grade so we’ll be together in the sixth.”
Please concentrate, Faith. Try this one.
“Armadillo.”
“A, R, M, … A … D, I, L, D, O,” Faith demonstrated her intellect.
“That’s weak. This is a bonus word so you’ll get extra points. Come on.”
Lacy Dawn nodded and looked for a new word.
I’ll trick her by going out of order – a word she can’t turn into another punch line.
“Don’t talk about it and the image will go away. Let’s get back to studying,” Lacy Dawn said.
My mommy don’t like sex. It’s just her job and she told me so.
Faith turned her open spelling book over, which saved its page, and rolled onto her side. Lacy Dawn did the same and snuggled her back against the paper wall. Face to face — a foot of smoothness between — they took a break. The outside was outside.
At their parents’ insistence, each wore play clothing — unisex hand-me-downs that didn’t fit as well as school clothing. They’d been careful not to get muddy before crawling into the box. They’d not played in the creek and both were cleaner than the usual evening. The clubhouse floor remained an open invitation to anybody who had the opportunity to consider relief from daily stressors.
“How’d you get so smart, Lacy Dawn? Your parents are dumb asses just like mine.”
“You ain’t no dumb ass and you’re going to pass the fifth grade.”
“Big deal — I’m still fat and ugly,” Faith said.
“I’m doing the best I can. I figure by the time I turn eleven I can fix that too. For now, just concentrate on passing and don’t become special education. I need you. You’re my best friend.”
“Ain’t no other girls our age close in the hollow. That’s the only reason you like me. Watch out. There’s a pincher bug crawling in.”
Lacy Dawn sat almost upright because there was not quite enough headroom in the refrigerator box. She scooted the bug out the opening. (delete here for word count) Faith watched the bug attempt re-entry, picked it up, and threw it a yard away into the grass. It didn’t get hurt. Lacy Dawn smiled her approval. The new clubhouse was a sacred place where nothing was supposed to hurt.
“Daddy said I can use the tarp whenever he finishes the overhaul on the car in the driveway. That way, our clubhouse will last a long time,” Lacy Dawn said.
“Chewy, chewy tootsie roll. Everything in this hollow rots, especially the people. You know that.”
“We ain’t rotten,” Lacy Dawn gestured with open palms. “There are a lot of good things here — like all the beautiful flowers. Just focus on your spelling and I’ll fix everything else. This time I want a 100% and a good letter to your mommy.”
“She won’t read it,” Faith said.
“Yes she will. She loves you and it’ll make her feel good. Besides, she has to or the teacher will call Welfare. Your daddy would be investigated — unless you do decide to become special education. That’s how parents get out of it. The kid lets them off the hook by deciding to become a SPED. Then there ain’t nothing Welfare can do about it because the kid is the problem and not the parents.”
“I ain’t got no problems,” Faith said.
“Then pass this spelling test.”
“I thought if I messed up long enough, eventually somebody would help me out. I just need a place to live where people don’t argue all the time. That ain’t much.”
“Maybe you are a SPED. There’s always an argument in a family. Pass the test you retard,” Lacy Dawn opened her spelling book.
Faith flipped her book over too, rolled onto her stomach and looked at the spelling words. Lacy Dawn handed her the flashlight because it was getting dark and grinned when Faith’s lips started moving as she memorized. Faith noticed and clamped her lips shut between thumb and index finger.
This is boring. I learned all these words last year.
“Don’t use up the batteries or Daddy will know I took it,” Lacy Dawn said.
“Alright — I’ll pass the quiz, but just ’cause you told me to. This is a gamble and you’d better come through if it backfires. Ain’t nothing wrong with being a SPED. The work is easier and the teacher lets you do puzzles.”
“You’re my best friend,” Lacy Dawn closed the book.
They rolled back on their sides to enjoy the smoothness. The cricket chorus echoed throughout the hollow and the frogs peeped. An ant attempted entry but changed its direction before either rescued it. Unnoticed, Lacy Dawn’s father threw the tarp over the box and slid in the trouble light. It was still on and hot. The bulb burned Lacy Dawn’s calf.
He didn’t mean to hurt me — the second nicest thing he’s ever done.
“Test?” Lacy Dawn announced with the better light, and called off, “Poverty.”
“I love you,” Faith responded.
“Me too, but spell the word.”
“P is for poor. O is for oranges from the Salvation Army Christmas basket. V is for varicose veins that Mommy has from getting pregnant every year. E is for everybody messes up sometimes — sorry. R is for I’m always right about everything except when you tell me I’m wrong — like now. T is for it’s too late for me to pass no matter what we do and Y is for you know it too.”
“Faith, it’s almost dark! Go home before your mommy worries,” Lacy Dawn’s mother yelled from the front porch and stepped back into the house to finish supper. The engine of the VW in the driveway cranked but wouldn’t start. It turned slower as its battery died, too.
Faith slid out of the box with her spelling book in-hand. She farted from the effort. A clean breeze away, she squished a mosquito that had landed on her elbow and watched Lacy Dawn hold her breath as she scooted out of the clubhouse, pinching her nose with fingers of one hand, holding the trouble light with the other, and pushing her spelling book forward with her knees. The moon was almost full. There would be plenty of light to watch Faith walk up the gravel road. Outside the clubhouse, they stood face to face and ready to hug. It lasted a lightning bug statement until adult intrusion.
“Give it back. This thing won’t start,” Lacy Dawn’s father grabbed the trouble light out of her hand and walked away.
“All we ever have is beans for supper. Sorry about the fart.”
“Don’t complain. Complaining is like sitting in a rocking chair. You can get lots of motion but you ain’t going anywhere,” Lacy Dawn said.
“Why didn’t you tell me that last year?” Faith asked. “I’ve wasted a lot of time.”
“I just now figured it out. Sorry.”
“Some savior you are. I put my whole life in your hands. I’ll pass tomorrow’s spelling quiz and everything. But you, my best friend who’s supposed to fix the world just now tell me that complaining won’t work and will probably get me switched.”
“You’re complaining again.”
“Oh yeah,” Faith said.
“Before you go home, I need to tell you something.”
To avoid Lacy Dawn’s father working in the driveway, Faith slid down the bank to the dirt road. Her butt became too muddy to reenter the clubhouse regardless of need. Lacy Dawn stayed in the yard, pulled the tarp taut over the cardboard, and waited for Faith to respond.
“I don’t need no more encouragement. I’ll pass the spelling quiz tomorrow just for you, but I may miss armadillo for fun. Our teacher deserves it,” Faith said.
“That joke’s too childish. She won’t laugh. Besides, dildos are serious business since she ain’t got no husband no more. Make 100%. That’s what I want.”
“Okay. See you tomorrow.” Faith took a step up the road.
“Wait. I want to tell you something. I’ve got another best friend. That’s how I got so smart. He teaches me stuff.”
“A boy? You’ve got a boyfriend?”
“Not exactly,” Lacy Dawn put a finger over her lips to silence Faith. Her father was hooking up a battery charger. She slid down the bank, too.
He probably couldn’t hear us, but why take the chance.
A minute later, hand in hand, they walked the road toward Faith’s house.
“Did you let him see your panties?” Faith asked.
“No. I ain’t got no good pair. Besides, he don’t like me that way. He’s like a friend who’s a teacher — not a boyfriend. I just wanted you to know that I get extra help learning stuff.”
“Where’s he live?”
Lacy Dawn pointed to the sky with her free hand.
“Jesus is everybody’s friend,” Faith said.
“It ain’t Jesus, you moron,” Lacy Dawn turned around to walk home. “His name’s DotCom and….”
Her mother watched from the middle of the road until both children were safe.
Great site!