Lost Recap: 05×05 This Place is Death

This Place is Death, Episode 5 of season 5 of Lost aired on Feb 11th in the US and it was a VERY good episode full of fangirl goodness. Picking up where we left off with Jin and Rousseau and Sun and the O6ers….

Sun gets the gun and is ready to go all vigilante on Ben’s ass…..(although I wished she would just kill Jack…)

Sun is all  like: you killed my husband you bastard, now you must pay!

Meanwhile Sayid is thinking: ay, the drama, what am I doing here?

Ben says: are you on drugs woman? Jin is alive. And I can prove it.

Craphole island: Jin is all, OMG when am I ? wtf is going on? He asks Rousseau what is the year….

and she says: ha? it’s 1988 dude. Or… how do you say dude in French?

The French people are picking up a transmission so they know that there is a radio tower somewhere on the island. Jin says he will take them there. Pause for reflexion. Has Jin ever been to the radio tower? I can’t quite recall….me thinks NOT. BOO. Bad writers.

Anyways, they are trekking in the Jungle of Mystery (TM Sawyer) , when they realise one of them is missing. and they hear a sound…

ooooooooooo. Jin knows exactly what is coming….

SMOKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who drags one of the French folks (the annoying one that was doing my head in, thanks TPTB!)

and takes him to the Temple (oooo, is that Teh Temple, the one that the Others wanted to go to? wicked) , then the guy is trapped inside and well, sort of loses an arm. ew.

But he is still alive down there, and he asks for help (but I ain’t fooled. That can be smokey acting like him, we have seen that before right? ) but…

The French haven’t and they want to go and rescue him and Jin is like, NO Danielle , you DON’T GO!

But them swoooosh time shifts and Jin is left alone

with the arm. again, ew!

He walks back to the beach…..and there is a music box playing. (Lost nerds will recognise this as the music box that Rousseau got Sayid to fix way back on season 1…but I digress)

Then he sees two of the French people dead. And I am all like, jeez. You know what? This is rather cool. And so convenient. The writers found a way to tell Rousseau’s story even though she died last season. I guess they heard the enraged screams of the fandom!

He walks into Rousseau and her husband. She is pointing a gun at him saying that the monster has made him sick (is that the sickness she says years later, has killed her expedition?) hummmm. anyways, she is about to lower her gun when her husband tries to kill her with his. But his gun won’t shoot and she ends up shooting him. Poor Rousseau.

Then she notices Jin nearby and is all like, you disappeared! and starts shooting at him and he runs…

and then swooosh

and Jin runs into Sawyer! and he is like:

Sawyer?

And Sawyer is like : JIN!!!!!!!!!And I am like: awwwwww

Awwwwww……

Awwwww……seriously…..

Even Juliet is like: awwwwwww….

Another one: awwww, look at his smile.

Ok. that’s enough.

So he goes: where is Sun? oh-oh.

So they are all trying to explain what is going on…and Jin asks Charlotte to translate…

and they learn she speaks Korean too. He tells Locke he doesn’t want Sun to come back to the island.

In LA *yawn* Ben tells Sun he only needs half an hour to convince her that Jin is alive.

Meanwhile, Kate says she is  done with them biatches.

And Sayid tells Jack that if he ever sees him or Ben again: ” it will be extremely unpleasant for all of us” hihihihi, gotta love Sayid.

So it’s only Ben, Jack and Sun now. Way to go Ben and Jack. You two rock.

Craphole island: they are going to the Orchid and then…

Swooosh

and it’s night. then swooosh

again and it’s day. It’s happening faster now and

Charlotte collapses

But it’s painful to everybody….

and Juliet bleeds….

AND DEAR LORD SO DOES SAWYER.

DEFCON 1 DEFCON 1 HAHAHAHAHAHAA<<<< HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER.

NO. NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Then Charlotte is all doom and gloom and…

she looks at Jin and tells him to not let Sun come back cause….

This Place is Death (nice, writers – *highfive*)

Back in LA, the Fab Trio is in the car and Ben is driving. The Sun asks Jack if he will let Sun kill Ben if he can’t prove that Jin is alive…

And Jack is all rambo-like, I will kill him myself after what he did to Kate. I snort. How many times has Jack promised to kill someone and he has never done it? Note that he is really close to tears. That’s how you know that he is really pissed off.

Then Ben stops the car and is all like: “What I’m doing is helping you. And if you had any idea what I’ve had to do to keep you safe, to keep your friends safe, you’d never stop thanking me.” hum-hum. Yeah right.But then he says:  “You wanna shoot me? Then shoot me! But let’s get on with it” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Jack does NOTHING of course. Well done Ben! I luurves you. You sneaky rat you.

Craphole Island: things are not looking good.

The swooshing keeps happening at short intervals. So they decide to carry on to the Orchid leaving Charlotte behind with Faraday. Before they leave she tells them:” look for the well.You’ll find it at the well” and we are all like: ooookaaaay.

They find the Orchid but just right then….

Swooooosh

and the Orchid is gone!

But guess what: hey, there is…a well! (How did Charlotte know???)

Locke decides to go down….

Back to Faraday and Charlotte , it’s time for the truth which tells me: it’s time for Charlotte to die. Really. What else could it be?

So, she tells Faraday that she had been in the island before. That she grew up there. With the Dharma Initiative. That she left really young with her mom and her father stayed behind (hummmm) and her mother told her the place didn’t exist and she spent her whole life trying to find it.

Why are you telling me (us) this?

Because she remembered something. There was this man, a man she feared. That kept telling her that she should leave and never come back to the island because if she did she would die. and that man, that man was YOU DANIEL…

Faraday: what?! Ana: WHAT?! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *dies*

Back at the well Locke is ready to go

and he gives one of his awesome smiles.

Then Jin makes him promise that he will never bring Sun back.

Locke promises…

because Jin can be REALLY scary sometimes….

Then he gives his wedding ring to Locke so that Locke can tell Sun that he is dead. awww. poor Jin.

Then Sawyer is all like, thanks.

Locke is all like, see you when I come back, James.

He starts to go down but OMG swoooosh

JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the well is gone.

And Sawyer is all desperate trying to get to him. and I am like…oh baby, come to mama.

oh yes, Charlotte dies.

And Locke has a freaking bone coming out of his leg. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

He is down there and he is alone calling for help and help comes and it’s:

Christian Shephard!!!!!!!!! The Walking Dead<<<< (see what I did here? Making it relevant to the Zombie Appreciation Week. I am a genius) , Jack’s father! I am all ooooooooooo,eeeeeeeeeeeeeee, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. ay. He is there to tell Locke to keep going , that he needs to go to LA, get his friends to come back.

Locke says that Richard told him that he would have to die.

and Christian says, well I guess that’s why they call is a Sacrifice John. I get goosebumps.

Then Locke, all by himself, walks to the Wheel of Time

and Christian says: say hello to my son from me. and Locke is all like, but who is your son?

But by then he is turning the wheel and he is gone!

Back in LA, Ben brought Jack and Sun to a church…

and the proof that Jin is alive is his wedding ring!! OMG did Locke give Jin’s wedding ring to BEN? NO, I can’t believe it. But now Sun is ready to go back to the island with them.

Then, OMG Desmond shows up; You know what this means right? Because the person …..

that Ben has taken them to see is……

Mrs Hawking!

Who, as Thea and I predicted, IS Faraday’s mother! *highfives Thea*

And she is like: I thought I said all of them? And Ben is like : that’s all I could get on short notice. and she is like, I suppose that will have to do for now…

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

LOST.

Next on Lost: a Jack(ass) episode. yay. NOT.