So Thea aired the dirty laundry with regards to Jate (ewwwww), True Blood (*snorts*) and the Breaking Dawn Fiasco amongst other craptastic 2008 occurrences. What is there left? The Crap-Fest that was Heroes season 3. Season 1 was VERY GOOD, Season 2 , not so much. But Season 3? Earns the “Worst TV Show” prize of 2008 with its ridiculous twists, unbelievable plotlines, idiotic character arcs, god-awful writing and acting. You ask yourself, why did I keep watching then? Elementary dear friends, so that I could give you….
Smugglivus Presents: our first ever
Illustrated CrapFiesta (2008 Edition) – Heroes Season 3
Part I: The Formula
Nathan: *alive*
Nathan: *We are God’s gift to humanity*
Future!Peter! : The world is going to end. Again. let me botch things up by messing up with the time-space continuum. Again.
Future!Peter!: *dies*
Hiro in Japan: *bored* Need to save something. I know:
“Save the formula save the world”
Hiro: Hey, the formula!
Nemesis: na-na-na-na-naaaa, the formula is mines!
Papa Petrelli: *alive* Muwhahahaha!
I want the formula!I have EVIL plans!
Mama Petrelli: Stop HIM.
Mamma Petrelli: *powerless*
Mohinder: I am smart Scientist. I make formula.
I inject formula on myself before testing it.
Part 2 – Monsters
Peter: we are monsters
Mama Petrelli: I am crazy, I am a monster!
Claire: I can’t die. I am a monster!
Mohinder: Hey, look at me, I am a monster too!
(at least I look good)
Maya: I am so boring. I am a monster!
Maya: *not a monster anymore.**leaves*
Tracy: I am a monster!
Sylar: I am an EVIL monster
Part 3 – Schizo Heroes
Papa Petrelli: Gabriel, I am your father.
Sylar: Daddy?
Sylar: *not evil anymore* Look at me! I am
a cute not-evil-anymore monster.
Sylar: *evil again*
Papa Petrelli: *does evil things*
Hiro: *is ten years old*
Hiro: *not ten years old anymore*
Elle: *can’t control powers*
(because she is a monster)
Ellen and Claire: We know! we smart monsters.
we travel by airplane even though the monster
with the electricity power can’t control herself
Cool new character
Cool new character: *dies*
Cool new character # 2
(Bubbles from The Wire!!!!)
I am a monster
Bubbles from The Wire: *dies*
Adam: *is back*
Adam: *dies*
The Chud: *what I am doing here?*
Matt: I just met you but I love you. Forever.
Nemesis (aka Lame New Character that is
sticking around) : You’re Crazy!
I love you too!
Evillll Papa Petrelli: *needs catalyst*
Peter: I will stop you!
Peter: *Powerless*
Claire: I am the catalyst
Hiro: No, I am the catalyst
Papa Petrelli: No, I am the catalyst
Formula: HA! I am the catalyst
Papa Petrelli: NOT Sylar’s father.
Papa Petrelli: *dies*
Catalyst: *dies*
Formula: *dies*
Eclipse: *lasts more than 2 hours*
Peter: *regains powers*
Nathan: Fooled ya! I am the monster!
Season: *ends*
Ana: *WTF?!*
So good to take this off my chest.
16 Comments
Karin
January 2, 2009 at 3:19 pmO.O
All I can say after seeing that is I’m extremely happy I’ve never watched that show.
Kris
January 2, 2009 at 3:30 pmDitto.
PS – That was friggin funny though.
Thea
January 2, 2009 at 3:48 pmThea: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Thea: *dies*
Brilliant dude. I stopped watching HEROES during season 1 (please, the writing, the writing! *covers face dramatically*), and this actually makes me want to get a case of beer and rent the dvds for a fun night.
AnimeJune
January 2, 2009 at 3:59 pmGaaaah, I was so disappointed in this season, too. Sylar and HRG are the only reason this season was even mildly enjoyable – their oh-so-brief-and-yet-so-brilliant good cop/brain-eating cop pairing at the start of the season was hilarious, although even I got tired of Sylar see-sawing between good (waffles and adorable sons!) and evil(“CAKE!!!”). Sylar, you’re awesome good or bad, just CHOOSE A FREAKIN’ SIDE ALREADY.
Good news on the “Heroes” horizon – Bryan Fuller (from the lamentably cancelled “Pushing Daisies”) is returning to the show he helped in Season 1 (a.k.a. the “good” season) and is planning on cleaning house.
orannia
January 2, 2009 at 5:18 pmHeheheh. I only ever saw the first episode of Season 1, and even though friends rave about it I’ve never got round to watching it. However, I do know who all the character are and I’m amused 🙂
And can I just saw I love the actor who plays Adam! I loved him as Mr Sark in Alias too….
I hope Season 4 is better for you 🙂
Mishel
January 2, 2009 at 8:30 pmHaha. That was extremely entertaining *claps*
I never watched an episode but I still thought it was funny (=
Dannie
January 2, 2009 at 10:20 pmOmigod I *know* i stopped watching halfway through the season, it was so ridiculous
Karen Mahoney
January 3, 2009 at 1:28 amDude, my stomach hurts from laughing. 😀
Brilliant! Also, I saw all of Season One & the first few eps of Season 2 then gave up. I'm not feeling inspired to get back into Heroes anytime soon… *g*
wonderings
January 3, 2009 at 8:27 amThanks for the great recap – much more fun than watching the episodes themselves. I gave up after watching first first two of this season. (/sad) I wasn’t sure if it was just me losing my tv-watching mojo after the writers strike…but apparently not!
bemaia
January 3, 2009 at 12:06 pmhahahahahahaha
you made me laugh so loud! It’s Sunday 7am, my neighbors will kick me out of the building!!!
Katiebabs a.k.a KB
January 3, 2009 at 2:30 pmEvil Sylar makes me cream my pants. Goody goody Sylar makes me bored.
Brie
January 3, 2009 at 8:55 pmMy hubby loved your take on the finale! He’s been watching Heroes since the beginning and was scratching his head this whole season. It’s been taken off the DVR.
And another one bites the dust!
Ana
January 4, 2009 at 2:43 am: D
thanks everyone!
AnimeJune, I heard that Bryan Fuller would be back and this is the only reason why I will give next season a chance.
icedtea
January 4, 2009 at 12:30 pm😀 Thanks for posting. I stopped watching this season so now I’m caught up.
edifanob
January 7, 2009 at 5:05 amI’m from Germany. So far only Seaon 1 and 2 have been aired.
I watched Season 1 and I really liked it.
I watched Season 2 and I got bored.
I decided not to watch Season 3 whenever it will be aired in Germany.
So a big thank you to you for reviewing whole Season 3. Now I know I made the right decision.
Ana
January 7, 2009 at 5:12 amNo probs! Glad to help!